To go on holiday without him….?

[PineapplePrincess]

Holiday booked for December. Me, DH and 2DC. Booked pre-pandemic.

Hubby is not vaccinated and country doesn't currently allow unvaccinated people entry. It’s unlikely to change position before we travel.

Option 1 - we go without him.

Option 2 - we abandon the holiday.

Husband is in favour of Option 2.

I’m wondering whether I could manage Option 1. Biggest difficulty other than keeping an eye on both kids in a foreign country, is driving - I’ve never done it outside of the UK and it would be in winter conditions.

Would it be unreasonable for me to consider going without him….?

I visited northern Finland for work in winter and it’s stunning!
Everything is geared towards the expectation of snow and very cold temperatures so the roads are cleared and gritted; parking spaces are heated or you can plug in to warm your car to start ….
It really is magical, it was so cold the snow looked like tiny diamonds and it was a dry cold so very refreshing. You’ll kick yourself if you don’t go and it will be wonderful for your children.

Go without him and think about divorce

I couldn’t stay married to someone so ignorant

1. Go without him!

He wants to ruin his family's fun because of his idiotic beliefs from reading fb.

If I was married to someone who persisted with this, I'd strongly consider LTB.

When driving someplace new, I just take it a spin around a carpark for a bit of a practice so I'm familiar where everything is on the car and get used to whatever side I'm driving on.

So he'd rather your young children miss out on a magical Santa holiday than just bloody getting vaccinated??? What a prick!
Definitely put your children first and go on the holiday. No way bloody cancel it for your idiotic husband.

Definitely go! He’s going to force you to go without holidays for years to come because of this, unless you go without him. He doesn’t get to dictate when you go away. If it’s Finland then they gear everything towards the cold and the roads will be cleared and gritted. Do you have a friend or family member that can come instead? I imagine just having another adult to talk to would be quite nice while you’re away. It’s his loss. What a muppet.

@Wingedharpy

You've got time to find a lover before December OP. Preferably, one that's fully vaccinated and can drive in snowy conditions. Have a lovely holiday.

This!!!

(I like the way you think @Wingedharpy )

As he’s chosen not to get vaccinated I’d just go without him.

The kids will be fine without him, it sounds a lovely trip. And lots to tell him about when they’re home!

@Wingedharpy 😂 the ideal solution!

Get a friend / family member to take your husbands place.

1. And could a friend join you?

Driving abroad is okay, especially colder places as roads as well maintained. The only tricky bit is roundabouts on the first 1/2 goes, when I drive abroad I have a sticker on the windshield in my eyeline thats an R to remind me to keep right and I tell myself in my head that I need to be in the middle of the road at all times.

Bollocks to getting a random man to go with you stupid suggestion.

You can drive, Finland is expecting snow and prepares for it unlike the uk. You will be fine.

Change nothing and just go with the children. Have an awesome time and come back and book yourself a sun holiday for Easter. Without him.

I think you need to not think about it as THIS holiday. For the foreseeable future (maybe forever) this will be every foreign holiday. Do you want your holidays and your DC's holidays to be restricted on an ongoing basis because of his decision? I think you need to start how you mean to go on. He made this decision - you shouldn't all have to bear the consequences.

(And single parents go on holidays with just the DC all the time and are fine)

He sees this approach as the government trying control him though or force him into getting vaccinated.

Where does he stand on speed limits? Sealtbelts? Food hygiene regulations? All government control that he ignores?

Go without him. It will be fine

How staggeringly selfish to think you should all miss out on a holiday because he won't get vaccinated. The fact it is a Santa holiday is even worse - I'm not sure I could get over that level of selfishness.

Absolutely go and have a wonderful time, driving abroad is totally fine, you get used to it incredibly quickly

Also the mid and northerly roads inland in Sweden, Finland and Norway tend to be straight and wide because they weren’t built around ancient small scale field boundaries or coastal communities but to facilitate big, slow wagons and plant serving the massive timber industry. People drive slowly in winter because of the conditions and to avoid hitting large animals. You’ll be totally fine.

It’s good for your children to see mum as capable and confident so fake it “til you make it!

I went to Lapland when my son was young. Skiing for a week. Stayed in cosy cabin with fire and sauna. Went on husky rides and ice karting. Probably the most magical holiday I have ever been on. Your DH will be missing out. Don't you and the kids miss out too.

Go without him or perhaps try and switch to another holiday where you don’t have to drive. He’s made his decision and will find his options will vastly decrease why should your world shrink too?

I don't know where exactly you're going, but the only place I've driven abroad was Iceland (in winter). It was great! Car was all fitted out with winter tyres, not much traffic, wide open roads. Though I didn't have kids in the car! Could you take a friend / sibling in your husbands place?

No no no. Don't switch to another holiday. Just go. You don't need a man to drive for you. Show your children just how capable you are.

Sad to see people suggesting that.

I just read your post about taxi prices, could you budget for a few taxis, say every other day or look if there any excursions you can book that do pickups?

Go on holiday. He's made a choice. Why should it impact your fun?

And when driving, just take your time and you will adjust quickly.

Go without him!

You can always take your mum or dad or another family member if you want some adult company

Do your DC know about the holiday? I'd go personally and take a friend instead. This is potentially a once in a lifetime opportunity for your children. In 5 years time if they no longer 'believe' will you look back and regret not going? Will you resent your partner for it?

And just drive. It will be fine. It’s natural to feel nervous beforehand but once you get going it will be easy. I’ve done it with just my DCs.

This is the kind of holiday that can’t be replicated later, when the children are older. Fair enough if your DH doesn’t want jagged, but it shouldn’t affect the rest of you like this.

@PineapplePrincess

He’s not entertaining the idea of getting vaccinated.

He’s not generally anti-vax. But is on the Covid one.

In that case I would definitely be going on holiday as planned.