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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids running at birds/ducks

209 replies

Mama1993 · 19/08/2021 21:38

Took my 3 y/o DS to the zoo today with his cousin. They were VERY excitable - running around laughing and jumping etc.

We sat down for our picnic on the grass. Lots of birds around. Now I know that children shouldnt run after birds as it distresses them but a lot of them do and don't seem to understand it's not a game.

My son was running around playing and he either ran towards a duck to run after it or was running and didn't see it (I didn't see fully) anyway he tripped on the duck which I saw and shouted 'CAREFUL!' albeit in a different language so other people wouldn't have understood.

Now this elderly woman who was sat on a bench with her husband started screaming at my DS 'HOW DARE YOU!' repeatedly. I was so shocked that I can't actually remember what else she said but she as angry!

I told her it wasnt on purpose but she was adamant that it was. I told her I knew my son and that he wouldn't deliberately kick a duck, to which she sarcastically replies 'do you???' over and over.

I don't like confrontation but AIBU to think this woman was well out of order shouting at a 3 year old?

I took my son aside afterwards and told him again how it's not nice to run at birds as it scares them. He was really upset by the whole thing (as I'm sure the duck was too! But it was 100% an accident)

OP posts:
Lolwhat · 19/08/2021 21:43

Why were you letting him get close enough to the birds that he could of tripped over one? She shouldn’t of shouted.

Hopdathelf · 19/08/2021 21:43

I know many children do it but it’s really not nice to run at birds and scare them. You wouldn’t tolerate him doing it to dogs so why are birds ok?

Original poster
Mama1993 · 19/08/2021 21:44

Birds aren't okay hence why I told him so afterwards. It was a big green space lots with seagulls pigeons and a few ducks scattered about

OP posts:
Figgygal · 19/08/2021 21:44

I absolutely hate seeing kids doing this
You should have had him under better control sorry

StMarysKettle · 19/08/2021 21:44

Bit hard to accidentally trip over a duck isn't it. The older couple thought they saw a child kick a duck so. You can't be too surprised they found it disconcerting.

I'm sure you could have found somewhere else for your kid to burn off energy where there was no risk of injury to wildlife. I would have been judging you hard but I probably wouldn't have said anything.

Macncheeseballs · 19/08/2021 21:45

Surely birds have the upper hand as they can just fly away

SmidgenofaPigeon · 19/08/2021 21:47

In a nanny and have taught the kids to respect animals. They don’t chase birds or harass them. It’s not a game. I’ve said stuff to other parents letting their kids do this.

Okay he didn’t deliberately kick a duck, but he shouldn’t have been allowed to run off and get close enough to trip over it!

Don’t passively tell him it’s not nice to rub at birds, TELL him and stop it every time.

StepCatsmother · 19/08/2021 21:48

Surely birds have the upper hand as they can just fly away

The upper wing, even :)

user1491404899 · 19/08/2021 21:49

You shouldn't have let him go near it! You are at fault.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 19/08/2021 21:49

It would be more than the duck being ‘upset’ wouldn’t it Hmm it would potentially be really injured with a broken leg.

Don’t minimise your lax boundaries.

Original poster
Mama1993 · 19/08/2021 21:51

It was a big area for picnics with one duck (that I saw) mostly seagulls and pigeons. He wasn't running after birds which is why I hadn't stopped him running. He was just running generally. I was trying to eat a sandwich and breastfeed which is why I didn't see exactly what happened.

OP posts:
OniferousWasp · 19/08/2021 21:52

I’m with the ‘how could you let your child get so close they tripped over the duck’ brigade. The elderly woman must have been so upset to see what she considered animal cruelty with a parent so near but not controlling your dc

SmidgenofaPigeon · 19/08/2021 21:53

Nice drip feed that you were breastfeeding, and funny not to mention that in the OP.

StMarysKettle · 19/08/2021 21:53

So he might have kicked it, you didn't see

supersonicginandtonic · 19/08/2021 21:55

so it was a picnic area and you thought it was ok to let your child run around. Not only at birds but also around other trying to eat their lunch? Why not find a play area to let him run around?

iloveredpandas · 19/08/2021 21:55

I doubt he was running at it - it's hard to get close to ducks unless you are calm.

That lady sounds absolutely horrible and she should not have shouted at you or your son - especially as you explained the situation.

shouldistop · 19/08/2021 21:56

Tbf you don't actually know your 3yo didn't kick it. 3yo's are very impulsive and do unexpected things. My friend is adamant that her son would never hit another child, meanwhile he's at it all the time when she's busy with her younger child.
That said I wouldn't have shouted like that at someone else's very young child.

iloveredpandas · 19/08/2021 21:56

@supersonicginandtonic

so it was a picnic area and you thought it was ok to let your child run around. Not only at birds but also around other trying to eat their lunch? Why not find a play area to let him run around?
You sound fun! Hmm
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 19/08/2021 21:56

I'm one very much inclined to think other people's parenting is their own business. I've never thought it my place to interfere. But I'd have been ashamed and utterly mortified had someone challenged me in public over this.

I was brought up to respect wildlife. So is my DC. Children should not be doing this and parents should not be surprised if they're called to account for it when they do. On this occasion my sympathies are with the woman. Whether the kick was deliberate or not, your child should not have been chasing and scaring birds in the first place.

YABV,V,U.

Incidentally I saw kids tormenting a gaggle of geese (with goslings) in the Lakes once. This was ill-advised. I wouldn't mind betting they didn't try that one again.

Berkeys · 19/08/2021 21:57

I would shout at him too. Good on her!

SmidgenofaPigeon · 19/08/2021 21:57

You weren’t looking, she was. Takes a village and all that…

WimpoleHat · 19/08/2021 21:58

I hate to say it, but it sounds like the lady had the better view of what happened…. Treat it as a learning exercise and explain to him that he needs to take more care with animals as it would be awful to hurt one.

Ozanj · 19/08/2021 21:58

You are really lucky it didn’t try to attack him. Plenty of Mallards / seagulls would have gone on the offensive. Teach your kids to respect animals - that means no running into birds / ducks & if he can’t be trusted shove him in a pushchair or put some reigns on him.

supersonicginandtonic · 19/08/2021 21:59

@iloveredpandas a picnic area is for sitting down and eating isn't it? Would you let a child run around peiole eating indoors? I'm sorry but children should be taught to sit down in eating areas. The OP had all the paths and play areas for her son to run around, the picnic area is the one place it's not appropriate, especially if he is hurting wildlife. Accident or not.

Original poster
Mama1993 · 19/08/2021 21:59

It was the zoo. The place was full of excited kids who hadn't had a day out in a long time

OP posts:
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