Kids running at birds/ducks

[Mama1993]

Took my 3 y/o DS to the zoo today with his cousin. They were VERY excitable - running around laughing and jumping etc.

We sat down for our picnic on the grass. Lots of birds around. Now I know that children shouldnt run after birds as it distresses them but a lot of them do and don't seem to understand it's not a game.

My son was running around playing and he either ran towards a duck to run after it or was running and didn't see it (I didn't see fully) anyway he tripped on the duck which I saw and shouted 'CAREFUL!' albeit in a different language so other people wouldn't have understood.

Now this elderly woman who was sat on a bench with her husband started screaming at my DS 'HOW DARE YOU!' repeatedly. I was so shocked that I can't actually remember what else she said but she as angry!

I told her it wasnt on purpose but she was adamant that it was. I told her I knew my son and that he wouldn't deliberately kick a duck, to which she sarcastically replies 'do you???' over and over.

I don't like confrontation but AIBU to think this woman was well out of order shouting at a 3 year old?

I took my son aside afterwards and told him again how it's not nice to run at birds as it scares them. He was really upset by the whole thing (as I'm sure the duck was too! But it was 100% an accident)

He crashed into a duck?? Unusual for the duck not to take evasive action. Looks like you didn't see what happened, the older woman did.

You should keep better control of your dc. Running around, going for walks by the river and feeding ducks are perfect things to do in lockdown - why do you say he hasn't been out for months? How bizarre.

Sounds like you need to be much firmer with him. He's 3 - he should know by now not to kick or chase birds.

Could it have looked like he kicked the duck. I mean she wouldn't have started shouting like that unless she though a creature was being intentionally hurt surely. People get very ( understandably) emotional if they think an animal / bird is being hurt. Maybe she just saw red without understanding fully. I'm not excusing her behavior but some people just react. I know I have yelled at people if I've seen an animal maltreated.

Sorry OP, with the majority. You should have supervised him better. Never okay to frighten or harm wildlife and You can’t 100% claim he didn’t because you didn’t see properly. Should she have shouted? No, but the responsibility lies with you.

I shouted across the street at a gang of girls who were deliberately chasing an injured pigeon yesterday. I think I forgot I wasn't in work. They gave me a gobful but left the bird alone.

Can you not see how this situation has actually been caused by people feeding this wild animal?

Exactly this @MNSEN. It’s the same with herring gulls. Humans cause their behaviour then demand they’re killed for it.

Stop interfering with wildlife and this shit won’t happen. Animals need a degree of fear from humans to help protect them.

Where was the cousin whilst this was happening?

@thelastgoldeneagle

He crashed into a duck?? Unusual for the duck not to take evasive action. Looks like you didn't see what happened, the older woman did.

You should keep better control of your dc. Running around, going for walks by the river and feeding ducks are perfect things to do in lockdown - why do you say he hasn't been out for months? How bizarre.

Sounds like you need to be much firmer with him. He's 3 - he should know by now not to kick or chase birds.

I didn't say he hadnt been out

What I meant was he hadn't had a day out with his cousin in a long time (they don't live nearby) and ye I know things have been open since April but I had a newborn so ye I guess he hadn't been out on days out as much as we could have

Oh ffs, children have/cause accidents frequently, you could tell many many parents they should have kept a better eye on their kids. Most of us don't though because we recognise that shit happens.

@ineedaholidaynow

Where was the cousin whilst this was happening?

They were both running around us with their flags

@CirqueDeMorgue

Oh ffs, children have/cause accidents frequently, you could tell many many parents they should have kept a better eye on their kids. Most of us don't though because we recognise that shit happens.

I agree.

It seems bonkers that I'd have to unlatch my breastfeeding baby and put her down every time my toddler got up just incase a duck was in the vicinity.

Again maybe I should get shackles

Good lord. He fell over a bird, it's not the end of the world. It sounds like the woman thought he kicked it (and of course he may have) which would account for her yelling.

Just forget about it. Remind your child not to chase birds and get on with your life. Contrary to the posts on here, chasing anything remotely interesting is a Normal part of being a 3 yr old. Just imagine how fab life would be if we told our children not to do something and we only ever had to say it once.

It is never, ever said to a man.

Oh don’t be silly, of course it is.

HasselbackForLife are you hard of thinking. I eat meat. I also don't think it's right for example to throw stones at ducks, shoot birds of prey or willfully neglect and abuse pet animals. Eating meat doesn't mean I think people should be allowed to do whatever they want to animals.

And op you seem not to care your out of control child could have killed the duck.

No yanbu

Poor duck

Of course I would care! But that's not what happened and didn't even look like it might happen!

What an overreaction

@ChipButties

Can you not see how this situation has actually been caused by people feeding this wild animal?

Exactly this @MNSEN. It’s the same with herring gulls. Humans cause their behaviour then demand they’re killed for it.

Stop interfering with wildlife and this shit won’t happen. Animals need a degree of fear from humans to help protect them.

Yes I agree. Especially prey animals. But actually all wild animals should stay away from humans because we're awful

@generalh yes because a girl gang deliberately chasing an injured bird is exactly the same as a 3 year old toddler running about by a duck pond... 🙄

You fully admit you didn’t see what happened (the reason why is irrelevant). Someone else says that they did see, and they say your son kicked the duck. I’m not sure why you’re so adamant that he didn’t to be honest.

@PATchworkelmer and I'm not sure why people are so adamant that it's fine for someone to scream at a little 3 year old toddler 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

@Zwellers

HasselbackForLife are you hard of thinking. I eat meat. I also don't think it's right for example to throw stones at ducks, shoot birds of prey or willfully neglect and abuse pet animals. Eating meat doesn't mean I think people should be allowed to do whatever they want to animals.

How do your think your meat becomes meat? Being cuddled to death? Do you genuinely think a child clumsily falling/tripping on a duck causes it as much stress as a chicken experiences when it’s being fed until it’s legs break, or a pig does when it gets a bolt through its head so you can have bacon?

@surreygirl1987 I’d probably shout ‘NO’ at a child who kicked a duck if the parent did nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wouldn’t go off on one like this woman did mind.

He’s 3. He was running. He didn’t fully control himself. Because he is 3. You were doing your best. Trying to juggle several things and it’s hard to watch them all the time and prevent all mistakes (which is what this was whether he deliberately kicked the duck or not - because HE IS 3!!!!)

Tormenting animals is never ok but neither is shouting at a 3 year old.

Good point made by PP about buying meat and fish and the cruelty involved in that compared to a duck getting a one off shock. If we are going to get all rude and aggressive about a 3 year old and their busy and imperfect (aren’t we all) mum then that energy would be much better directed at the meat industry.

[quote surreygirl1987]@PATchworkelmer and I'm not sure why people are so adamant that it's fine for someone to scream at a little 3 year old toddler 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️[/quote]
No it's not fine. You are right ! The mother should have been looking after her child in the first place and then nobody else would have felt the need to step in.