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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids running at birds/ducks

209 replies

Mama1993 · 19/08/2021 21:38

Took my 3 y/o DS to the zoo today with his cousin. They were VERY excitable - running around laughing and jumping etc.

We sat down for our picnic on the grass. Lots of birds around. Now I know that children shouldnt run after birds as it distresses them but a lot of them do and don't seem to understand it's not a game.

My son was running around playing and he either ran towards a duck to run after it or was running and didn't see it (I didn't see fully) anyway he tripped on the duck which I saw and shouted 'CAREFUL!' albeit in a different language so other people wouldn't have understood.

Now this elderly woman who was sat on a bench with her husband started screaming at my DS 'HOW DARE YOU!' repeatedly. I was so shocked that I can't actually remember what else she said but she as angry!

I told her it wasnt on purpose but she was adamant that it was. I told her I knew my son and that he wouldn't deliberately kick a duck, to which she sarcastically replies 'do you???' over and over.

I don't like confrontation but AIBU to think this woman was well out of order shouting at a 3 year old?

I took my son aside afterwards and told him again how it's not nice to run at birds as it scares them. He was really upset by the whole thing (as I'm sure the duck was too! But it was 100% an accident)

OP posts:
supersonicginandtonic · 19/08/2021 22:01

@Mama1993 places have been open since April for days out. 4 months ago. Covid is not an excuse for bad behaviour. I'm sick of hearing that excuse for everything 🙄

lannistunut · 19/08/2021 22:02

Two wrongs do not make a right, the child should not have been close enough to the ducks to cause them problems, but it is never acceptable to shout repeatedly at a small child in that way.

OP: talk to your son and hopefully this will not happen again. If anyone shouts at your child like that just ask them politely to stop and walk away. There is no point trying to talk with people who are like that.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 19/08/2021 22:03

@Mama1993 why or?

People have been allowed to run around in open spaces and go on days out for quite a while 😂

supersonicginandtonic · 19/08/2021 22:03

Can I just add I do not think it was ok for the woman to shout at your little one though.

lyntheyresexpeople · 19/08/2021 22:04

Tbh if you weren't looking, you don't know he didn't kick the duck. If he was running at it full speed and tripped, surely the duck would be spooked and run off? I've not known many birds stay still when small children are thundering toward them. Granted she shouldn't have been screaming at your son either.

Lou98 · 19/08/2021 22:06

You've went from it being * a few ducks scattered about* to just the one duck🤔

The woman shouldn't have shouted at your son but she was absolutely right to say something to you.
Your son got close enough to a duck to 'trip up' over it, so you weren't watching him. You're lucky he didn't get hurt. Other kids running about aswell and breastfeeding aren't excuses to not be watching your child.

You've also repeatedly said you weren't watching so don't know what happened so you can't 100% say that he didn't purposely kick the duck or wasn't chasing them - you should have apologised, not tried to defend yourself by saying you knew what happened when you didn't

MareofBeasttown · 19/08/2021 22:07

I am clearly a lousy parent because I am on OP's side..Haven't small children already had a terrible time this last year without being chastised for running around? I don't think it is such " bad behaviour" either. Certainly not so awful.that it needs to be called out in public.

Kidsteens · 19/08/2021 22:07

Hes 3 I doubt he meant any harm . Its possible he was excited or may have hoped he could touch /stroke it if he could get close. Just tell them it makes the ducks/birds sad/scared.

BakedTattie · 19/08/2021 22:09

I’ve never seen ducks at the zoo (misses point)

You were in the wrong.

Planetsandstars · 19/08/2021 22:10

I think she was wrong to shout at your son, but I also really don’t think he ‘tripped over’ a duck.

I see children chasing pigeons a lot and while I’m no great fan of pigeons that’s really why I hate it, as I don’t want a flock of alarmed pigeons flying at my head.

supersonicginandtonic · 19/08/2021 22:10

The one things little ones have been able to do is run around 🙄

MareofBeasttown · 19/08/2021 22:15

"How dare you?" shouted at a 3 yr old is extreme overkill.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/08/2021 22:19

Now I know that children shouldnt run after birds as it distresses them but a lot of them do and don't seem to understand it's not a game.

Well yes, that's why their parents have to tell them Confused.

kittenkipping · 19/08/2021 22:19

She was wrong to shout I guess, but I'm of the opinion she saw what happened and you admitted you didn't. Saying "I know my child!" Is tedious, and bleated far too often. He's 3. Growing ,changing, impulsive and a born copy cat. You know him in that you may know he hasn't kicked a duck before- but it's ludicrous to suggest you know 100% that he never ever would. He's 3! Any number of reasons he might've done it. Oh- he says he tripped? Of course he's never lied and nor will he ever!

SoftSheen · 19/08/2021 22:20

Perhaps he did, in fact, kick the duck, which would explain the woman's reaction?

Either way, he shouldn't have been chasing birds, and you should have been watching him.

Creamsoda77 · 19/08/2021 22:21

I cant bear seeing kids do this either and you should not have allowed it, the lady shouldnt have shouted though.

Movingsoon21 · 19/08/2021 22:22

Your lax parenting won’t do your kid any favours, OP. Watch him more carefully in future and stop him from misbehaving before he does it, not afterwards.

Woman shouldn’t have shouted at him but was right to pull you up on it. It’s your fault, not your 3 year olds.

Heronwatcher · 19/08/2021 22:23

She shouldn’t have shouted, but then she obviously genuinely thought that your son kicked the bird- unless you think she made it up which seems unlikely. I would suggest that you don’t make the lady a bad guy but use this as a lesson for your son about kindness to animals being important.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 19/08/2021 22:23

@Figgygal

I absolutely hate seeing kids doing this You should have had him under better control sorry
This. If he ran close and fast enough to trip over it you can't blame people for thinning it was on purpose
MareofBeasttown · 19/08/2021 22:24

OP's poor kid will be Ted Bundy by the end of this thread.

Creamsoda77 · 19/08/2021 22:25

Yes, wanted to add 'tripping over' a duck meant he was far too close, maybe at 3 he doesnt understand but as a parent its your job to step in ??

Original poster
Mama1993 · 19/08/2021 22:25

I'm sorry if this is 'drip feeding' but I felt like I was waffling in OP.

He was 2 metres away at most, reason I didn't see fully was because I was sat on the floor and the pram was obscuring the view a bit. I saw him crash in to a duck which is when I shouted careful.

I explained to him afterwards why he shouldnt run at birds if that's what happened.

But he hadnt been running at any birds which is why I didn't think that's what he was doing. Of course I can't be sure what happened which is why I spoke to him afterwards and if I had certainly seen him run at it I would have told him to stop

OP posts:
54321nought · 19/08/2021 22:26

control your child

HasselbackForLife · 19/08/2021 22:28

Oh my god Mumsnet brigade are ridiculous sometimes. The women was completely out of order to shout at you. Her reaction is never ok and she was incredibly rude. Your son was probably a bit too active but name a 3 year old that isn't?!
Next time, sit a bit further away from the ducks. Lesson learnt. Don't let the 'up-tight-perfect-parents-with-perfect-children-who never-did-anything-wrong-ever' get you down.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 19/08/2021 22:30

Was the duck ok? You didn’t actually say anything about the poor duck, which suggests you’re not that bothered if he hurt it or not, accidentally or otherwise.