Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Kids running at birds/ducks

209 replies

Mama1993 · 19/08/2021 21:38

Took my 3 y/o DS to the zoo today with his cousin. They were VERY excitable - running around laughing and jumping etc.

We sat down for our picnic on the grass. Lots of birds around. Now I know that children shouldnt run after birds as it distresses them but a lot of them do and don't seem to understand it's not a game.

My son was running around playing and he either ran towards a duck to run after it or was running and didn't see it (I didn't see fully) anyway he tripped on the duck which I saw and shouted 'CAREFUL!' albeit in a different language so other people wouldn't have understood.

Now this elderly woman who was sat on a bench with her husband started screaming at my DS 'HOW DARE YOU!' repeatedly. I was so shocked that I can't actually remember what else she said but she as angry!

I told her it wasnt on purpose but she was adamant that it was. I told her I knew my son and that he wouldn't deliberately kick a duck, to which she sarcastically replies 'do you???' over and over.

I don't like confrontation but AIBU to think this woman was well out of order shouting at a 3 year old?

I took my son aside afterwards and told him again how it's not nice to run at birds as it scares them. He was really upset by the whole thing (as I'm sure the duck was too! But it was 100% an accident)

OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 20/08/2021 12:26

OP

I mean this as kindly as possible, but as someone who lives near a place with water and ducks etc.., I see people like you allowing their children to chase the ducks, and even run into the water, throwing sticks, and doing nothing about it.
Take your children somewhere else to play if you think any part of what you have said is acceptable.
It is not.

surreygirl1987 · 20/08/2021 13:52

@anordinarymum are you actually kidding?! You think the OP shouldn't be anywhere where birds go with her child?! That rules out pretty much anywhere outdoors doesn't it...

Also, who said anything about her child throwing sticks and running into the water?!

Also, if that's you speaking 'as kindly as possible' I'm pretty concerned!

This thread is ridiculous.

WitchBaby · 20/08/2021 14:28

Are you actually saying he shouldn't ever be allowed to run around and play? That's absurd

No she's telling you to supervise your child. If you were watching him you could've stopped him, it's quite simple.

CirqueDeMorgue · 20/08/2021 14:37

Ugh, cba reading the full thread because they'll trip over themselves to make out that you're the worst parent in the history of forever but no, the woman should not have shouted at your son.

TheSloaneRanger · 20/08/2021 16:28

I would have shouted too, out of alarm. You are at fault here, you weren't watching. Lesson learned.
Was the duck OK?

pleurotus · 20/08/2021 16:34

@TheSloaneRanger

I would have shouted too, out of alarm. You are at fault here, you weren't watching. Lesson learned. Was the duck OK?
I think the duck was okay. It wasn't like he stamped on it, he crashed in to it but didn't land on it or anything.

It flew away instantly of course

WineByTheSea · 20/08/2021 16:41

I agree that kids shouldn’t harass birds or animals, but to be honest little kids running towards pigeons or whatever doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. They just move away, and keep doing their thing elsewhere. Maybe the duck was already hurt in some way, it’s unusual for it to just sit there in the path of a toddler!

There seems to be a lot of overreaction on this thread, YANBU OP. Having little kids is stressful, I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm and it’s impossible to watch them 100% of the time. She was out of order IMO.

Tal45 · 20/08/2021 16:52

Your fault OP, teach your kids not to harass birds. And as the woman saw the incident and you didn't I don't really think you had a leg to stand on.

HasselbackForLife · 20/08/2021 17:01

I just find the hypocrisy here amazing. Anyone who gives 2 shiny shits about the duck needs to stop eating duck too.

Anordinarymum · 20/08/2021 17:08

[quote surreygirl1987]@anordinarymum are you actually kidding?! You think the OP shouldn't be anywhere where birds go with her child?! That rules out pretty much anywhere outdoors doesn't it...

Also, who said anything about her child throwing sticks and running into the water?!

Also, if that's you speaking 'as kindly as possible' I'm pretty concerned!

This thread is ridiculous.[/quote]
I was talking about the general attitude some of these people have to the wildlife they take their children to see.

You see with your eyes, not your feet as in this example. or with sticks as I have seen many times or equally running into the water which is prohibited because there are ducks there.

In the country park where I walk my dog every day we had a Muscovy Duck living with the other wildfowl there.
He was so popular with the visitors he was named 'Kevin'

He was gorgeous with his red face and his wagging tail. He went up to people because they fed him.

People thought because he wagged his tail, he was like a dog and went to stroke him. He thought food was coming and pecked.

I have seen men kicking him and hurting him. I shouted at a man one day and he shouted back -"it's attacking my kids"
Stay away from it then you moron.
One day I went for my walk and his eye was injured. Another time I went and he was gone. Nobody seems to know what happened to him but I bet you if is was bad - a human or their offspring were involved.

Of course you should take your children to see the ducks and to feed them. Not to chase them or anything else. It's common sense. A shame people don't appear to have any

Anordinarymum · 20/08/2021 17:09

@WineByTheSea

I agree that kids shouldn’t harass birds or animals, but to be honest little kids running towards pigeons or whatever doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. They just move away, and keep doing their thing elsewhere. Maybe the duck was already hurt in some way, it’s unusual for it to just sit there in the path of a toddler!

There seems to be a lot of overreaction on this thread, YANBU OP. Having little kids is stressful, I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm and it’s impossible to watch them 100% of the time. She was out of order IMO.

No - the parent was not doing their job.
WitchBaby · 20/08/2021 17:14

@HasselbackForLife

I just find the hypocrisy here amazing. Anyone who gives 2 shiny shits about the duck needs to stop eating duck too.
How do you know who eats duck and who doesn't ffs??!! I'm vegetarian (gradually turning vegan) but even people who do eat animals are entitled to not want a child to scare/hurt a duck. Just because you eat animals doesn't mean you want to see wildlife being tormented/hurt Hmm
HasselbackForLife · 20/08/2021 17:23

A 3 year old ran at a duck. Calm the fuck down

HasselbackForLife · 20/08/2021 17:25

Good for you Witchbaby. But I bet most people here who are making the OP feel terrible about her 3 year old doing normal 3 year old shit DO eat meat.

IntermittentParps · 20/08/2021 17:31

You are at fault here, you weren't watching. Lesson learned.
Agree with this. Watch your child.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/08/2021 18:00

@Veryverycalmnow

And I agree with pp that if you eat meat you can fuck off with your concern for the duck. They're treated like shit when being 'processed'
Fine, let's do it your way.

The new law is that people who eat meat are expressly forbidden from doing anything to protect animals.

Vegans constitute around 1.16% of the population or 600,000 people.

Cool. That means that over 98% of the population will no longer stop others kicking dogs, tying fireworks to cats, beating horses, slaughterhouses no longer have any regulations, all protected species are no longer protected, so egg collecting and hunting of all species can be resumed without fear of being reported, arrested or prosecuted, bats can just fuck off and die rather than building owners being forced to obey laws regarding their protection, bear baiting, cock and dog fighting are no longer prevented, it's fine to cut down all trees and bushes in the middle of nesting season - your neighbour fancies a bit of lamping or hare coursing? Fine, it's not as if you're allowed to think it's morally and environmentally reprehensible because you had a ham sandwich for lunch, so you let him get on with his gambling.

You might think that you are the only people who should be allowed to have an opinion, but if it weren't for others considerably more pragmatic in their approach, you'd still be numbering in the couple of hundred and there wouldn't be anything remotely near the amount of plant based foods available in the supermarkets because it wouldn't be financially viable; after all, you said to keep out of it. Nobody ever tries Veganuary because the vegan gatekeepers have said it's nothing to do with them, their contribution to demand fuelling the explosion of interest in non animal products is worthless if they aren't going to go the full mile from the first mouthful. So they don't do it. No point. Not allowed to have an opinion or take action.

From my position, I would have thought you'd far rather I collected the spider in the plastic cup and relocated where it wasn't going to be splatted with a book or put the confused fledgling outside rather than leave it bashing its head against the window until it dies from breaking its neck or starvation/exhaustion, but seems not. It's got fuck all to do with me because I'm not morally or dietarily pure, according to you.

tl;dr ODFOD. If Vegans want more people going plant based or Vegan, they need to realise that they won't achieve it by telling them that they are cunts who have no business even thinking for a moment 'that's not right, I need to stop that'.

Is your desired outcome to really remain in such a minority that you cannot hope to effect any real change? Because shitposting like that is what will achieve it.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 20/08/2021 18:01

@NeverDropYourMooncup 👏🏻👏🏻 Superb

Anordinarymum · 20/08/2021 18:09

@HasselbackForLife

A 3 year old ran at a duck. Calm the fuck down
Yeah and the mother was busy eating a sarny so someone else told the child off and the mother thinks that is out of order. Nowt to do with anything else . If you have a toddler watch what they do is the lesson here. Don't leave it to a stranger to do your job. Easy
YouJustDoYou · 20/08/2021 18:14

Mine have been sharply reprimanded for doing this since the moment they thought to join in with others doing it. Poor animals, how anyone thinks it's okay to let/laugh at kids kids tormenting and scaring creatures weaker than them is beyond.

Cornettoninja · 20/08/2021 18:15
  1. Parents - Don’t let your dc scare wildlife
  1. Everyone else - if you can’t communicate with young children (or anyone in fact) without getting in their faces and losing your shit you have no business talking to people you don’t know.
pleurotus · 20/08/2021 18:18

Sorry I name changed but it's me the OP

I was looking at him and keeping an eye on him thanks. I didn't see if he deliberately ran at the duck because the pram was in the way. I saw him crash in to the duck which is when I shouted 'CAREFUL!'

I would never let him run off or away from me' he was literally running in about a 2metre proximity.

I hadn't seen him run at any birds whilst we were there and it was a big picnicing area with no duck pond. I only saw this one duck so there wasn't many and some seagulls etc.

Whilst I have seen him run at a pigeon in the past i'ts not something he does every time he sees a bird...

He was running around with flags with his cousin. I thought he was playing. It would be strange for him to suddenly kick a duck IMO. He's a very sensitive and sweet boy

Sorry to drop feed just felt a bit defensive

I8toys · 20/08/2021 18:24

Its not the kids fault its yours for not supervising them. Hate this and the parents who bang on the glass and expect animals to perform for them. Dicks.

Grapewrath · 20/08/2021 18:39

Doubt a perfect stranger would scream at your kid if he accidentally tripped. She saw what happened- you by your own admission didn’t. You need to supervise your child more closely around animals

pleurotus · 20/08/2021 18:42

@Grapewrath

Doubt a perfect stranger would scream at your kid if he accidentally tripped. She saw what happened- you by your own admission didn’t. You need to supervise your child more closely around animals
A good point.

However you didn't see her either.

She seemed quackers

MNSEN · 20/08/2021 18:48

In the country park where I walk my dog every day we had a Muscovy Duck living with the other wildfowl there.
He was so popular with the visitors he was named 'Kevin'

He was gorgeous with his red face and his wagging tail. He went up to people because they fed him.
People thought because he wagged his tail, he was like a dog and went to stroke him. He thought food was coming and pecked.

I have seen men kicking him and hurting him. I shouted at a man one day and he shouted back -"it's attacking my kids"
Stay away from it then you moron.
One day I went for my walk and his eye was injured. Another time I went and he was gone. Nobody seems to know what happened to him but I bet you if is was bad - a human or their offspring were involved.

Of course you should take your children to see the ducks and to feed them. Not to chase them or anything else. It's common sense. A shame people don't appear to have any.

Can you not see how this situation has actually been caused by people feeding this wild animal??