Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

Kids running at birds/ducks

209 replies

Mama1993 · 19/08/2021 21:38

Took my 3 y/o DS to the zoo today with his cousin. They were VERY excitable - running around laughing and jumping etc.

We sat down for our picnic on the grass. Lots of birds around. Now I know that children shouldnt run after birds as it distresses them but a lot of them do and don't seem to understand it's not a game.

My son was running around playing and he either ran towards a duck to run after it or was running and didn't see it (I didn't see fully) anyway he tripped on the duck which I saw and shouted 'CAREFUL!' albeit in a different language so other people wouldn't have understood.

Now this elderly woman who was sat on a bench with her husband started screaming at my DS 'HOW DARE YOU!' repeatedly. I was so shocked that I can't actually remember what else she said but she as angry!

I told her it wasnt on purpose but she was adamant that it was. I told her I knew my son and that he wouldn't deliberately kick a duck, to which she sarcastically replies 'do you???' over and over.

I don't like confrontation but AIBU to think this woman was well out of order shouting at a 3 year old?

I took my son aside afterwards and told him again how it's not nice to run at birds as it scares them. He was really upset by the whole thing (as I'm sure the duck was too! But it was 100% an accident)

OP posts:

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 19/08/2021 23:33

*HTH

PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 19/08/2021 23:33

@Mama1993

I'm sorry if this is 'drip feeding' but I felt like I was waffling in OP.

He was 2 metres away at most, reason I didn't see fully was because I was sat on the floor and the pram was obscuring the view a bit. I saw him crash in to a duck which is when I shouted careful.

I explained to him afterwards why he shouldnt run at birds if that's what happened.

But he hadnt been running at any birds which is why I didn't think that's what he was doing. Of course I can't be sure what happened which is why I spoke to him afterwards and if I had certainly seen him run at it I would have told him to stop

Sorry but you literally titled your thread “kids running at birds” 🤨

ViciousJackdaw · 19/08/2021 23:34

@Bobmonkfish

What's the big deal about chasing birds? Thought that was a normal thing for little kids to do

Also this.

No, it's just a shitty thing to be allowed to do.

earthyfire · 19/08/2021 23:38

Well if the women had dared to shout at my son she would have met her match with me. If the women had an issue speak with the parent, I don't agree with her shouting at a three year old, she damn well wouldn't be shouting at mine that's for sure.

earthyfire · 19/08/2021 23:38

Woman*

StoneofDestiny · 19/08/2021 23:39

Blimey - I remember when one of my kids was very little, he was running ahead of me in the park towards the bench we always sat at. His little feet made some sound on the path - a huge gathering of pigeons flew off and some harridan stated yelling at him to stop scaring the birds! The birds flew back down almost instantly to resume their positions.

I'd say city pigeons are certainly used to significant traffic noise, multiple feet and emergency service vehicle sirens, to not be remotely perturbed by a child's footsteps.

In OP's case, the shouting woman sounds unhinged.

BasicB · 19/08/2021 23:41

So anyone who has a toddler who impulsively runs at a bird is a ‘shit parent.’ Are parents who feed their children meat ‘shit parents’? Eggs from caged birds? Milk from cows kept pregnant and separated from their babies? Do you seriously think a toddler chasing a pigeon causes as much stress to an animal as those things?

Brilliant. Also - big difference between ‘letting them’ and ‘they do it because they’re 3 and impulsively run towards anything interesting.’

Happymum12345 · 19/08/2021 23:42

I wonder if it was because you spoke in another language?
I’m not saying chasing birds is right, but at his age, he certainly isn’t the alone in doing this.

LammasFires · 19/08/2021 23:51

Do you think he’ll remember and be too scared to run at birds again, in case someone yells at him?

Clunt · 19/08/2021 23:54

I live in a seaside town overwhelmed with intrusive aggressive seagulls and pigeons. Despite the many many signs all over the bloody place stating don’t feed, or don’t drop litter ..people do. Inevitably young children and actually sometimes older children and adults then run at, kick at and throw things at the poor bloody birds sending them into a panic, shitting and flying into peoples faces… I have an extreme phobia of things flapping round my head and face and usually manage not to shout but not always ! I am always answered with.. Awh it’s just a game… they are doing no harm, it’s only a pigeon/seagull, most times the parents are laughing.. it’s fucking cruel to do this to these birds. So far I have managed to convey my feelings by looks and also my obvious anxiety when they start swooping.. I fear it won’t be long before you read about a woman going nutso at a town centre bus stop due to bird flapping anxiety!

StoneofDestiny · 20/08/2021 00:00

Wonder how many in here who would shout at children chasing birds would take issue with the annual grouse and pheasant shooters - pretty scary and cruel, and done by fully grown adults.

Ionlydomassiveones · 20/08/2021 00:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Sweettea1 · 20/08/2021 00:35

You said you weren't fully concentrating so how do you know what happened? Falling on something and kicking something are 2 different things so what was it he fell or kicked?

Berkeys · 20/08/2021 00:59

@StoneofDestiny

Wonder how many in here who would shout at children chasing birds would take issue with the annual grouse and pheasant shooters - pretty scary and cruel, and done by fully grown adults.

I would shout at them too, the disgusting psychopaths.

Anyone who eats meat gets judged silently by me in fact. But then I am one of those vegan types. I pass as respectful of all diets socially but I’m not really.

Saoirse82 · 20/08/2021 01:16

Of course the woman was out of order, on what planet is it ok to scream and shout at a 3 year old child who is a stranger to you. There are different ways to go about this and it doesn't involve screaming at a toddler! Yes, he was wrong to run at the ducks but a quiet word with mum and child would have been much more effective. The people that are on this thread saying she was fine to do this need to give their heads a wobble. I would have been absolutely fucking livid and she would have known all about it if it was my child.

arcof · 20/08/2021 02:07

I've really never heard of this dont chase birds thing, my toddler does it but the bird is always absolutely miles away, they just fly off before she gets anywhere near close. And she isn't chasing them to scare them, she just wants to talk to the bird and doesn't understand that they don't want her close - and they don't let her get close! So I'm meh about this incident , probably by the time OP realised it was all over. She can't exactly shackle him to the picnic blanket. The lady who shouted was way over the top.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/08/2021 09:52

I'm genuinely shocked by how many pps think it is OK for young dc to chase birds. I thought teaching dc to be kind and empathetic towards animals was a basic requirement of good parenting.

Original poster

Mama1993 · 20/08/2021 10:00

@Stompythedinosaur

I'm genuinely shocked by how many pps think it is OK for young dc to chase birds. I thought teaching dc to be kind and empathetic towards animals was a basic requirement of good parenting.

I think the majority of PP's (myself included) agree it's not okay.

Im not worried about any lack of empathy either. Literally just watched him cooing at a woodlouse on the kitchen floor this morning.

And I've spoken to him about it twice since why it's not nice to run at birds. He's three. He's not going to get things straight away.

OP posts:

Idontbelieveit14 · 20/08/2021 10:03

She shouldn’t have shouted but YABU letting him chase birds. I hate it, it’s cruel.

shouldistop · 20/08/2021 10:08

I thought teaching dc to be kind and empathetic towards animals was a basic requirement of good parenting.

Teaching small children things takes time and things like empathy are mainly developmental. I thought knowing that was a basic requirement of good parenting?

AllTheSingleLadiess · 20/08/2021 11:22

The old lady might not have shouted if she understood that you were watching your son as you had warned him in another language. I personally think it's ok to tell a child off if the parents don't see (note I didn't say shout) but the old lady saw the collision which might have upset her hence a raised voice.

People who are telling you off don't have perfectly behaved toddlers - they accept that this was a momentary lapse of concentration by you (easily done with a 3 year old) but ultimately your fault. Hopefully the duck is ok and your son wasn't upset too long.

Ime men do get told to control their kids. They can be far laxer since they do less childcare so unaware how pre-schooler behaviour can be super random. I have told men to keep a closer eye on their child and they haven't argued back with me where as women are more likely to be "my child would never X" when I saw them do X with my own eyes.

AllTheSingleLadiess · 20/08/2021 11:23

@Stompythedinosaur

I'm genuinely shocked by how many pps think it is OK for young dc to chase birds. I thought teaching dc to be kind and empathetic towards animals was a basic requirement of good parenting.

Empathy is something develops when much older but not kicking/scaring/hurting other people or animals is a good rule to have.

ChainJane · 20/08/2021 11:25

And I've spoken to him about it twice since why it's not nice to run at birds. He's three. He's not going to get things straight away.

Which is why parents need to supervise their fucking children properly.

Original poster

Mama1993 · 20/08/2021 11:29

@ChainJane

And I've spoken to him about it twice since why it's not nice to run at birds. He's three. He's not going to get things straight away.

Which is why parents need to supervise their fucking children properly.

Are you actually saying he shouldn't ever be allowed to run around and play? That's absurd.

I guess I'll go buy some shackles!!

OP posts:

Doubledoorsontogarden · 20/08/2021 12:13

Totally your fault for letting him run around the birds.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Swipe left for the next trending thread