Sick of partner peeing everywhere and not wiping ot up. AIBU to shame him and tell his mum?

[Sophie1029734]

This sounds like a joke question and I wish it was 😑. He gets up for work and leaves. When I'm half asleep and sit on the toilet I sit and get sticky dried pee on my leg and ass. It drives me insane. I forget to check when I'm half asleep because Im a bit dazed. If he goes before bed and I wake to go the toilet, I get pee on me again. It's disgusting!!!!

I thought he was over it after I complained 100 times about it. I'm sick of it. I'm constantly cleaning the toilet after him, disinfecting, mopping the floor. Our little girl Is 18m, I dont want her sitting in his pee when she does potty training.

I'm so angry about it, I dont understand the logic in not wiping after yourself. Did his mum/dad not teach him to wipe after himself or is this an individual problem?

After so long of asking him to clean after himself and no results, I'm tempted message his mum and shame him about it. He said dont you dare message her theres no need, but I think there is considering hes still doing it? I feel like in treating him like a child but what real man does this.

I'm even tempted to start peeing a bit on the seat before he goes so he can experience the pure horror of realising theres pee on you. Just to get it in his brain how gross it is and maybe get him thinking about wiping.
Is this too far. Aibu

I’m afraid men are just messy pee—ers. Maybe it’s time to use the old trick of putting a ping pong ball in the toilet and telling him to aim at that?

On a slightly lighter note, I think a lot of this has something to do with male scent marking. :D Whenever I clean our downstairs toilet, within minutes DH appears and has to use it. The same way our male cat always uses the litter tray as soon as it’s emptied.
Particularly annoying when we have visitors due and I want it fresh and fragrant (the cloakroom, not the litter tray!) Just as I am putting the bleach/disinfectant away, I hear the flush!

Why are you hellbent on blaming his mother? He is a grown man and is 100% responsible for his penis.

I’ve been with my husband for 20 years and have never once had to deal with his pee or poo.

Honestly, I’d consider leaving. He chooses to do this. He has no respect for you. He purposely creates a situation where you’re sitting in stale piss.
He’s vile.

I’m afraid men are just messy pee—ers.

No they're not. And even if they are, they should still be cleaning up after themselves...

Use his towel to wipe it up with, let him dry himself and if he doesn't notice tell him after he is dried.

If he's happy for you to get his pee all over you then he should be happy to wipe it all over himself.

Just watch him jump back in the shower though because of course he wont want pee all over him.

YABU it’s not his mums problem it’s his!

Honestly this isn’t just about him being lazy or unhygienic it’s pure disrespectful! He’s acting like he doesn’t care about you at all!

If you wet the bed would you expect him to sleep in it?! I bet if it was the other way around and you were pissing on the toilet seat he’d be the first to complain.

I’d be giving him an ultimatum and following through with it. No way would I stay with someone who treats me with such little respect.

I’m afraid men are just messy pee—ers.

The bar is so exceptionally low. No woman should put up with urine everywhere from partners, let alone clean up after them. Gross.

Maybe I just need to count myself lucky being single because I could not be attracted to a man like this. It's so fucking disrespectful and entitled behaviour.

What about messaging his dad? I'm sick of women being blamed for men's faults. Why dod his dad not teach him how be a respectful man about the house???!!!

I agree!

It’s disgusting that OP is cleaning up a grown mans urine and instead of the grown man taking responsibility it’s somehow his mums fault, not his or his dads?!
Do men not have control over their penis or is it all women’s fault!

I had this same problem with DH. It drove me nuts and I found it revolting to start my day sitting in sticky wee. Same he used to improve and then it would fall by the wayside.

I did what PPs suggest (no pun intended) and would shout in horror every time it happened and ask him to come and clean it up. I don't get why they are too lazy to even put the seat up!

Always worse in the mornings too.. I guess morning glory makes it harder to aim yuck.

@2389Champ

I’m afraid men are just messy pee—ers. Maybe it’s time to use the old trick of putting a ping pong ball in the toilet and telling him to aim at that?

On a slightly lighter note, I think a lot of this has something to do with male scent marking. :D Whenever I clean our downstairs toilet, within minutes DH appears and has to use it. The same way our male cat always uses the litter tray as soon as it’s emptied.
Particularly annoying when we have visitors due and I want it fresh and fragrant (the cloakroom, not the litter tray!) Just as I am putting the bleach/disinfectant away, I hear the flush!

Lived with Dh 15 years, never once come into contact with his piss.

This would have been a MASSIVE red flag for me the very FIRST time I saw it.

I truly can't imagine it not being a total deal breaker.

It's such basic hygiene.

His behaviour is completely uncouth.

Your poor child.
The lives some people lead😳

@2389Champ

I’m afraid men are just messy pee—ers. Maybe it’s time to use the old trick of putting a ping pong ball in the toilet and telling him to aim at that?

On a slightly lighter note, I think a lot of this has something to do with male scent marking. :D Whenever I clean our downstairs toilet, within minutes DH appears and has to use it. The same way our male cat always uses the litter tray as soon as it’s emptied.
Particularly annoying when we have visitors due and I want it fresh and fragrant (the cloakroom, not the litter tray!) Just as I am putting the bleach/disinfectant away, I hear the flush!

Well that's alright then, it's just their natural instinct and they can't help it .

Or maybe we should use the same solution as we do for tom cats who aren't house trained and either have their nuts removed or send them to live in a barn.

How did you find this dirty, disrespectful man attractive enough to be impregnated by him? 🤮

Some people are messier than others.so they need to do more cleaning than others. Its the leaving it for the OP that is fucking disgusting and disrespectful.

He just doesn't care. The low standards that so many woman accept are breathtaking.

I'd be waking him up fifteen minutes earlier to allow for cleaning time. Well I wouldn't because I would never have stayed.
This isn't something men can't help and if they do have issues then as long as they've got hands, they clean after themselves. I'm also amazed at what women put up with. I grew up in the 70's, all of my friends had brothers, father's and we had male friends. I've never had to sit on a piss stained seat, or put the seat back down. There was more respect around over some things, when life was more communal.

My cats can manage to piss in their litter box and not get it everywhere. The only time one of my cats pissed on the floor was when he was in his last days and he was confused.

How can an adult human male not get their piss in a toilet unless it's done deliberately to annoy?

If so what others have suggested, use his clothes to mop it up, then put them back in his drawer so he has to try and guess which of his clothes are safe to wear every day.

Sit down to pee rule here too for ds6. No other men in the house and I too don't understand why men pee standing up.

Why are so many women making excuses for men who can't pee properly . It's nothing to do with age, eyesight or medication, my DH is over 60 & very short sighted but knows how to pee and clean the toilet. Even my 90 year old dad in the last few months of his life when he was in failing health never missed the toilet.

You're not unreasonable to hate it, but it would be weird to tell his mum! What do you honestly expect her to do about it? If this is something recent, could he have developed a medical problem (e.g. urinary infection) for which he needs to see a doctor? Otherwise, I think you perhaps could tell him that you won't have sex with him until he starts cleaning up his act and his pee. I would find it revolting to do so anyway!

What does it have to do with his Mum? Be careful about involving family like this because then he will probably do it to you.

Anyone (barring those who have health issues) who leaves evidence of pee or poop in/on the toilet or their underwear is nothing more than a dirty pig and wouldn’t be given house room here. They’d be out of the door on their backside to go and live in a sty.

And why tell his mum? She doesn’t seem to have taught him it’s not on as a child so why would she bother now?

I totally agree to using his clothes to wipe it up. Put a stack in the bathroom to be on hand- work shirts, underpants, the lot.
I’d be considering a lock. Bathroom privileges cancelled as your maid has quit. Go outside in the garden like the other barbarians and 4 year olds.

Keep a special towel to wipe the loo every time he uses it, then place it on his pillow/chair/laptop, his side of the bed/table, whatever works. Every time. Maybe he will understand how disgusting it is then. If he leaves the toilet seat clean and dry, he will have nothing to worry about.

Its because he doesnt respect you.
Thats it. Thats the whole reason.

Think about your daughter, who you love. If your daughter as a teenager came to you and said mum, i've bought myself some nice shampoo with my wages but ive noticed you keep using it if yours has run out, please can you stop as i keep running out quicker and then have to go and replace it.
You would stop! Why? Because you love and respect your daughter and wouldnt want to upset her or make more work for her just for your own convenience. You'd go and stock up on your own shampoo.

This is not how you treat someone you love. Would you do this to him? No. Why? Because you love him and therefore dont want to gross him out or have him spend time cleaning up your bodily fluids as thats not his responsibility, its yours. So why is it okay for him to do it you? Is this the kind of behaviour your daughter should put up with from a partner? Or from her dad, as if he doesnt stop he's going to be expecting his kids to do it when they are old enough to use the toilet! You are not his cleaner!
Your partner whose supposed to love you doesnt care about you enough to spend 10 seconds grabbing a chunk of toilet paper and wiping the loo.