Sick of partner peeing everywhere and not wiping ot up. AIBU to shame him and tell his mum?

[Sophie1029734]

This sounds like a joke question and I wish it was 😑. He gets up for work and leaves. When I'm half asleep and sit on the toilet I sit and get sticky dried pee on my leg and ass. It drives me insane. I forget to check when I'm half asleep because Im a bit dazed. If he goes before bed and I wake to go the toilet, I get pee on me again. It's disgusting!!!!

I thought he was over it after I complained 100 times about it. I'm sick of it. I'm constantly cleaning the toilet after him, disinfecting, mopping the floor. Our little girl Is 18m, I dont want her sitting in his pee when she does potty training.

I'm so angry about it, I dont understand the logic in not wiping after yourself. Did his mum/dad not teach him to wipe after himself or is this an individual problem?

After so long of asking him to clean after himself and no results, I'm tempted message his mum and shame him about it. He said dont you dare message her theres no need, but I think there is considering hes still doing it? I feel like in treating him like a child but what real man does this.

I'm even tempted to start peeing a bit on the seat before he goes so he can experience the pure horror of realising theres pee on you. Just to get it in his brain how gross it is and maybe get him thinking about wiping.
Is this too far. Aibu

How can you stay wth someone that shows you this level of contempt on a daily basis?

I view this as no different to this www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

He doesnt care that his disgusting habit affects you emotionally, it is disgusting and no body should have to clean up someones urine or sit in it. I think you need to be clear around what your going to accept fom this man and set some clear outcomes if it continues

If you have to consider the involving his mum to persuade him to show you some basic respect then there’s something seriously wrong in your relationship. He’s frankly being disgusting and this behavior is extremely disrespectful. I would personally find this such a turn off that I would leave him.

Tell him he has to sit down from now on, that’s it.

@Moonmelodies

Don't forget some men cannot sit down to wee because their parts would hang in the water.

🤣🤣🤣😊😊

My partner sits to pee. I don't understand why all men don't to be honest

It's because men's loos (in pubs and public loos) have urinals.
Boys are taught to use them by their dads , or whoever.

Cubicles in men's loos are for No 2s!

Anatomically, it makes sense for men to stand up.

They have a whole lifetime to learn how to take hold of it and point it in the pan of a loo.

It's not hard.

Men who don't are just lazy. And if they dribble, they need to wipe it up.

If he behaves like you are his maid or he is your child, presumably he doesn’t expect to have sex with you. I’d certainly find this a total turn-off.

What about messaging his dad? I'm sick of women being blamed for men's faults. Why dod his dad not teach him how be a respectful man about the house???!!!

Telling his Mum is really weird although I appreciate he’s acting like a child so understand the sentiment. I’d put post it notes all over the toilet saying lift the seat up AND PUT IT BACK DOWN personally.

Take his car keys in the evenings; tell him he's not leaving for work until he's cleaned up his piss. You're not his fucking maid and he's not leaving it for you to do.

@Sophie1029734

I've told him so many times, told him how its unfair on me and soon to be on our little girl. That he isnt a child, I'm not his personal maid, I'm not a slave. Everything. He doesnt care and wont change. On rare occasions he will wipe the toilet down for a day or 2 after but go back to doing it. This is why Im tempted on makeing a bigger statement to get it through to him how gross it is. It's the one thing that's drives me insane, I just dont get it.

If he won't sit down, why doesn't he lift the seat?

What's the point in telling his mother? She would've been cleaning his piss up for 20+ years before you did. It certainly wouldn't shame him because he clearly has no respect for her either.

He doesn't care and won't change? That would be enough for me. He'd be getting told Im your wife/partner, not your pi** cleaning maid. Don't let yourself be treated like this, either he shapes up or ships out. If he's like this about a serious hygiene issue, I really wonder what he is like in other areas. It's affecting you and your daughter. If you both start to get infections is it going to bother him then? How selfish.

He doesn't care and won't change? That would be enough for me

Exactly that.

I would be dragging him to the tpilet every bloody time to clean ot with spray. Even in the middle of the night. As soon as it affects him he will pull his finger out.

DH pees everywhere now he's in his late 50s...... every time I use the toilet I have to wipe the pan and floor first. I think it's a combination of prostrate problems, medication he's on and poor eyesight.

It's grim OP but I'm not sure his Mum will help.

If you didn't have a child together I'd say just leave, not because he pees on the toilet seat but because he doesn't respect you.

Having a child is an even greater reason to leave if someone is treating you with such disrespect and contempt.

Your DD doesn’t need to see her mother so degraded. She is also being degraded as he is happy for his beautiful baby girl to pad / crawl around in his piss.

@BrilloPaddy

DH pees everywhere now he's in his late 50s...... every time I use the toilet I have to wipe the pan and floor first. I think it's a combination of prostrate problems, medication he's on and poor eyesight.

It's grim OP but I'm not sure his Mum will help.

Why do you have to do it? It’s his mess, he should clear it up.

OP your husband is grim and has no respect for you. I couldn’t share a bed let alone a bathroom with someone like that. He knows it upsets you and he simply doesn’t care. Ask him if he enjoys making you feel like this, does he get off on it in some way, like a power thing? It’s vile.

Please show him this thread.

Have you asked him why he leaves it for you to clean up?

Is it that they doesn't think it needs cleaning, or that it's beneath him to do it? Is it that he wants you to clean up his piss as a status thing or has he just not questioned how the bathroom goes from covered in his piss to being clean next time he steps in it? Have you asked him if he does this at work or friends houses and does he realise its unacceptable? (I would quietly just not invite you back if I went into my bathroom after your dh had used it and found he'd pissed everywhere,I probably wouldn't tell you why though.)

Have you quietly seethed that he's done it again, or have you been angry loudly that yet again the bathroom is covered in piss?

Use his toothbrush for cleaning

Fucking hell. I couldn't live like this.
Either he stops pissing everywhere or he needs to leave and find his own flat to piss all over.
Absolutely disgusting.
Tell him: sort out this pissing issue or you're out.

Here have my first LTB

Urgh it's really gross.
We do have to live with each others mess somewhat when we are in families but this it totally avoidable.

Your options are
live with it
buy a bigger house so he has his own bathroom
tell him to leave

As option 1 has become untenable can you do 2?

Sit down rule here also.
Most men are incapable of aiming. This is the consequence.
I absolutely would not put up with what you are. Especially with a small child

If he only cleans for a couple of days after you complain, you need to shout again when you find it dirty. Every time. Hes acting like a unhousebroken animal so treat him like one.

Definitely ask him if he understands he can't do this at other peoples houses and work.

I honestly don't understand why woman live like this.