Sick of partner peeing everywhere and not wiping ot up. AIBU to shame him and tell his mum?

[Sophie1029734]

This sounds like a joke question and I wish it was 😑. He gets up for work and leaves. When I'm half asleep and sit on the toilet I sit and get sticky dried pee on my leg and ass. It drives me insane. I forget to check when I'm half asleep because Im a bit dazed. If he goes before bed and I wake to go the toilet, I get pee on me again. It's disgusting!!!!

I thought he was over it after I complained 100 times about it. I'm sick of it. I'm constantly cleaning the toilet after him, disinfecting, mopping the floor. Our little girl Is 18m, I dont want her sitting in his pee when she does potty training.

I'm so angry about it, I dont understand the logic in not wiping after yourself. Did his mum/dad not teach him to wipe after himself or is this an individual problem?

After so long of asking him to clean after himself and no results, I'm tempted message his mum and shame him about it. He said dont you dare message her theres no need, but I think there is considering hes still doing it? I feel like in treating him like a child but what real man does this.

I'm even tempted to start peeing a bit on the seat before he goes so he can experience the pure horror of realising theres pee on you. Just to get it in his brain how gross it is and maybe get him thinking about wiping.
Is this too far. Aibu

Does he do it when you visit friends and family?

Does he do this when he goes to the loo in other people's homes? Or at work? Or when out?
I bet he doesn't.
So it's a total lack of respect for you

I'd ask him to leave as he's not toilet trained and you can't cope with him & your daughter & daughter gets priority.

If your not prepared to do that then next time you're at someone's else's home use the toilet immediately after him.
On returning ask him why he pisses all over the place everything at home but is clean elsewhere.
If I was feeling generous I'd warn him that I was going to do this until he kept clean.

I'd use his clean clothes to wipe up the mess

He can't be bothered to clean up after himself in a way that impacts you, so it looks like he doesn't respect you.

My EXDP used to do this, and also ignore that his DS11 did the same.

EXDP knew it infuriated me, so he also used to not flush after he'd pooed on occasion, and pretend he forgot. I'm so glad I got rid of him.

@Sophie1029734 I’ve just had a quick look at some of your other threads.

I think you know that are not in a good situation with your dh.

He is never going to change and he will never respect you and you don’t deserve that. Ok.

Being a single parent is better than being in an abusive relationship.

Start planning for a better future for you and your dc.

Update. I sent him the thread and he has since stopped. Until I woke up this morning and unknowingly throw my pjs in to a pool of piss. Then I stand it in with my bare feet. Did he even aim for the toilet or did he aim for the floor on purpose?
Between those tiles were filled with pee, tons of drips golden down the sides if the toilet, all on the seat. And at the end of the circle is a mat.. ITS ON THE MAT!! so I actually cant tell how far hes peed.

This cant bave been an accident? Surely no human can mess up this bad?

I've messaged him that I'm wipeing it up with his clothes (which I have already) and he tells me that if i do hes kicking me out. I dont care. I'm putting his controller on the toilet floor, if its clean enough me and my daughters, its clean enough for his beloved controller.

What is wrong with people that they remain in relationships with (and allow in to their homes) animals like this? Is your self-esteem REALLY that low? The shame.

That took a dramatic turn!!

Actually its because I'd be homeless. I got pregnant comeing out of college, I have nothing to my name. I cant go to my family. If I left with LO hed have her every weekend and honestly, I dont trust him to not just throw her on his family. He would enjoy every secound I was away from her.
I can get a job but where does lo go? He would make me pay for nursery and I wouldn't be able to afford it. I would've left ages ago, I've wanted to but I dont know how. I wouldnt even know where to stay with councel housing and benefits, I have no knowledge in any of it

I need something to kick start me. My little one gets free nursery hours at 3 so I was holding off on that till I can secretly do part time jobs and save, get money behind me and over time move

Actually would like some advice if any one has it, how can I help myself in finding the money to leave. Is there any jobs I can do from home which dont require knowledge and qualifications in that field? I have half a child care lvl3 qualification with nursery and primary school work experience, full lvl 3 animal management with work expierince at vets, a lvl 2 animal animal management. I have my english and maths and other gcses (which probabaly mean nothing now) but rhats what I'm working with.

@Sophie1029734 - you'd better start a new thread in Relationships. You'd get more and better help and support there.

Let me just tell you: you are not the first woman to have faced what you're facing. It will be extremely tough, but totally worth it.

Yes I was thinking that. You want people posting who have advice on leaving, but people will only click on the thread title with advice about the peeing!

What you need is to think carefully what you want to do. Where do you want to be in 5 years? You have the motivation of the anger of today and it sounds as though you are ready to move on.

Money - use entiledto.co.uk to find out what benefits you would be entitled to for you and your daughter. Use the child maintenance calculator to work out what he will have to pay. That will give you a starting point for money.

Housing - I don't remember what you said about your housing situation but if you are married or if your name is on the deeds/mortgage or tenancy then he cannot throw you out. If none of those apply then head to the council and see what the social housing situation is in your area.

Child contact: he will only get every weekend if you give him that. You are entitled to an equal split of the fun times especially if she is heading to preschool. So he will get every other weekend and potentially 1 night in the week or he could go for 50:50 but if he does that make sure it is truly 50:50 - not just maintenance avoidance.

Work: why did you not finish the childcare course? Given you have a little one this might be worth pursuing? See if a local nursery/preschool will work something out with you so that your daughter is there too - many will. In the meantime take a look at some of the boards of paid surveys etc to try and build up bits of cash. Do you have your own account? Could you squirrel some funds away in there?

Above all take care. If your plan is to leave then becareful how much you antagonise him in the meantime. One of the most dangerous points in a failing relationship is when the bully realises they are loosing their grip on their victim.