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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let 12 yo DD go out wearing these shorts?

378 replies

christyt114 · 15/08/2021 11:33

DH says I am.

DD (12) (but looks about 14) has these shorts which I got for her to exercise in but she says they're comfortable and likes them so wears them out and about.

Yesterday she wore them with a short top when she walked to meet her friend. They got a Costa then walked back to ours.

DH said she was "asking for trouble" because she was wearing the shorts and wants me to tell her she can't wear them out and about.

He reckons a paedophile will look at her and think "her parents don't care about her" and will abduct her.

(She made it home safely by the way).

Who's BU?

AIBU to let 12 yo DD go out wearing these shorts?
OP posts:
dementedpixie · 15/08/2021 11:39

Obviously not in Scotland then! She would have frozen her tits off wearing that outfit yesterday Grin

Booboosweet · 15/08/2021 11:42

I think they're fine with a long top. Not a crop top though.

grisen · 15/08/2021 11:42

Let her wear them.

FreeSpirits · 15/08/2021 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scotsmaw · 15/08/2021 11:42

He is my 16 yo wears similar outfits as do a lot of her friends. Men are the problem here not your dd.

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2021 11:42

“Asking for trouble”?

Urgh. I hope you corrected your “d”h that no woman is asking to be attacked because of their clothing. An absolutely disgusting attitude.

Scotsmaw · 15/08/2021 11:43

Sorry forgot a comma 😬

234Pepperplant · 15/08/2021 11:43

I don’t think she’s “asking for trouble”, but those shorts with a crop top are exercise wear - I personally wouldn’t be thrilled about my child going out to Costa like that, although I’m not sure banning anything will achieve much. But in my view it’s not appropriate clothing for the activity. Absolutely fine for running in or going to a yoga class. Similarly a bikini - fine on a beach or by a swimming pool, not for walking round Tesco.

I don’t think it makes her at higher risk of being abducted, that’s just hyperbole. She might get the odd leering comment though.

Ofnorman · 15/08/2021 11:43

Your husband said your 12 year old daughter was 'asking for trouble?'

Ugh. What a prince.

Ponoka7 · 15/08/2021 11:46

I think that they are fine. However I had a DD who looked older and I knew that she'd struggle with unwanted attention from lads who thought that she was older. So I sometimes advised different clothing.
Your DH is being ridiculous, unless you live in a country were abductions happen. Those shorts are better than the ones in fashion in which the arse cheeks are hanging out. I like cycling shorts for comfort as well, not on me though.

ImFree2doasiwant · 15/08/2021 11:47

This is such a minefield. Women and girls should be able to wear whatever the hell they want without being bloody learned at or people thinking they're "asking for it". FML.

That said, I can understand why, at 12 but looking 14, your H might not want her to wear them. At that age I wasn't capable of dealing with the inevitable attention I might have got. God, its just bloody depressing.

PinkArt · 15/08/2021 11:47

'Asking for trouble' 👀
Your husband needs educating and fast that whatever a woman or girl wears does not make her remotely responsible for the actions of awful men. If something happened to her would he say she'd been asking for it?!

sleepyhead · 15/08/2021 11:47

She should wear what she likes but they look like pants.

Why should she care that some middle aged random on the internet thinks she'd look ridiculous though. Crack on.

(I used to go out in what my dad called "a pelmet" back in the early 90s. I didn't care.)

spongedod · 15/08/2021 11:48

See such a fascination with tweens and their clothes on here just now Hmm

They are shorts. That's all.

Your husband is a prick. Get her away from that kind of influence. She is 12, she isn't asking for anything. He is playing the idea that women are responsible for the behaviour of men though and that's dangerous.

Hoppinggreen · 15/08/2021 11:49

She’s not fucking asking for anything
Your husband is a Dickhead

Shallysally · 15/08/2021 11:50

The shorts are fine.

Your DH needs educating re his way of thinking though. Women have the right to wear whatever they choose, men are the problem and we do not have to pre empt and overthink the issues every time we choose an outfit.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 15/08/2021 11:51

Lots of young ones wear them with little tops around here. I personally think they look lovely but they do make their little bodies look more grown up. I'm not sexulising children here, just saying they do.

Mummasdiary2021 · 15/08/2021 11:53

Let her wear them. I live in them (obviously I am an adult) but I would happily let me littles wear them. I'm sure she would wear a swimsuit at a beach or to a pool, there could be dodgy people watching her there too. I think dad's are always over protective though as they know how boys think! Xxx

Apeirogon · 15/08/2021 11:53

I have a 13yo DD who has a pair of shorts just like this. They're just shorts. No problems with her wearing them out and about.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 15/08/2021 11:54

I'm on about actual 14 year olds btw as that's how old mine is, and they look older 🙈

Angryfrommanchester1 · 15/08/2021 11:54

I wouldn’t let my DD12 wear them other than exercise.

isthismylifenow · 15/08/2021 11:54

My dd has those exact same shorts. She wears them all the time as they are really comfy. She is 19 so a bit older. She is a dancer so will wear them there, will wear them going for a walk with the dog, a hike etc etc.

I do not have an issue with them at all.

We do live in a hot country though and shorts are quite the norm.

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/08/2021 11:54

I'd be bloody furious at the 'asking for trouble' remake. The shorts, not something I like but not something I'd stop my child wearing.

Mummasdiary2021 · 15/08/2021 11:54

@Shallysally

The shorts are fine.

Your DH needs educating re his way of thinking though. Women have the right to wear whatever they choose, men are the problem and we do not have to pre empt and overthink the issues every time we choose an outfit.

I also really agree with this. I know this is abit off topic, but sexual crimes against women still occured when women wore ankle length dresses with long sleeves. It's peoples way of thinking that needs to change not what women wear xx
OhWhyNot · 15/08/2021 11:55

Of course they are fine to wear

But unfortunately she will more attention as she probably is getting attention in whatever she wears

It’s not what she is wearing that is the problem it’s that there are so many men who feel entitled to be creepy towards girls and women

Your dh attitude isn’t positive for her to hear

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