AIBU to let 12 yo DD go out wearing these shorts?

[christyt114]

DH says I am.

DD (12) (but looks about 14) has these shorts which I got for her to exercise in but she says they're comfortable and likes them so wears them out and about.

Yesterday she wore them with a short top when she walked to meet her friend. They got a Costa then walked back to ours.

DH said she was "asking for trouble" because she was wearing the shorts and wants me to tell her she can't wear them out and about.

He reckons a paedophile will look at her and think "her parents don't care about her" and will abduct her.

(She made it home safely by the way).

Who's BU?

I wouldn't.

My daughter and all her friends wear these exact shorts - usually with massive hoodies but with little tops if the weather is good.

Her sister does not because she has a different style but they are def not unusual there.

Your husband is a dick though. No one asks to be assaulted.

Men are absolutely the root of the problem, but it's a bugbear of mine that boy's clothes are designed for comfort, while girls always seem to be form fitting, whatever the occasion.

I find this whole issue makes me really conflicted. On the one hand I think everyone should be able to wear whatever makes them feel good however, sadly, we live in a world where there are some horrible people who do and think horrible things about children and women. Rationally I realise that a preteen is not likely to get abducted, kidnapped or touched for wearing more revealing clothing to a Costa in plain day but chances are they will pass a few pervy men that will be thinking or god forbid calling out things about them and that just makes my flesh crawl. I wouldn’t want to enable these type of people or for my preen teen to have to deal with that.

Someone said it is men that have the problem not the girls.

But that unfortunately is the problem .

My niece was 14 but looked about 18 . We all went into a pub for a family meal her wear king very short shorts and a cropped shirt . Low cut .

I honestly watched nearly Every man in that pub turn their heads and stare at her . Looking her up and down . Her parents thought it was funny .

Personally at that age I would not have let my daughter go out dressed like that before she was capable of dealing with that sort of attention .

I fled from fitting clothes more comfortable as does Dd (has some sensory issues around clothing and hated the flapping of anything baggy or how it feels crumpled under another layer) dd2 has started stealing her clothes as she finds the tighter ones more comfortable also!

*find form fitting

Of course she can wear what she bloody likes.

Get her in some self defence classes if your worried about pervs. The risk is there regardless of whatever the hell she wears

I wouldn't personally.

@Whinginadeville

Your husband is right and sounds like he really cares about his daughter. Posters on this thread are deluded if they think a 12 year old can change predatory men's thinking with the power of her attitude alone.

Which clothing items can change predatory mens thinking?

People need to stop having a go at your husband!
He is concerned that she will give off the wrong impression by walking around like that and whether you agree or not it will happen even if it should not

We women and girls should be able to wear whatever the hell we like, without attracting sexual attention from men. However, since men can be utter creeps, I would not like my daughter wearing these out of the house I don't think. There was a young (about 10/11) girl in the shop I was in yesterday with ripped denim shorts on that her bum cheeks were actually hanging out of, I wouldn't think that was an appropriate look for a grown woman on a night out, let alone a child? I think some young kids clothes are a bit much at the moment tbh. Shitty world we live in!

@Greenrubber

People need to stop having a go at your husband! He is concerned that she will give off the wrong impression by walking around like that and whether you agree or not it will happen even if it should not

Have a listen to yourself.

@FreeSpirits

Not everyone that looks at someone dressed inappropriately is a perv.. maybe they're thinking.. omg what kind of parent let's their kids go out dressed like that ?

I could t give a fuck about an idiots opinion of my DDs clothing tbh. I don't buy clothes for my children according to what a judgemental mumsnetter is thinking.

He said she is asking for trouble

She isn’t asking for trouble the men that are leering at her are capable of controlling their own actions placing the blame on her is implying that can’t help themselves

Their dd shouldn’t be told in anyway that men can’t help themselves

@Greenrubber

People need to stop having a go at your husband! He is concerned that she will give off the wrong impression by walking around like that and whether you agree or not it will happen even if it should not

What do you mean by give of the wrong impression? What impression does a 12 yo wearing shorts give?

@Whinginadeville

Your husband is right and sounds like he really cares about his daughter. Posters on this thread are deluded if they think a 12 year old can change predatory men's thinking with the power of her attitude alone.

As someone who works with sex offenders on a daily basis I can tell you that it doesn't matter what you are wearing to them. We are in baggy, unflattering scrubs and the risk is still high. They look for the opportunity not at what someone is wearing so my advice would be to teach your daughters the risks about being alone in a public place and not teach her to cover up because she's "asking for it".

Not appropriate on under 16s unless they're exercising.

Teens round here dress in those shorts and crop tops. South coast and near beach and it seems very practical wear for what activities they do.

It's not what woman wear that's the issue.

It's men thinking it's up to woman to dress in a way because they have no self control.

[quote FreeSpirits]@spongedod well no but surely some of the men that are looking are not actually perving but wondering why a child is dressed that way?

I'm a woman and if I see someone dressed inappropriately I look.. does that make me a perv? Or just judgemental? Men can be judgmental too without being pervs?

Did you read my post about the man I saw running through the park with his penis on display?[/quote]

It's nobody's business why someone is wearing shorts.

Shorts are not inappropriate -

The man? I'm not much interested in comparing a child wearing shorts to a man showing his genitals as these 2 things are not the same.

Having a penis on display is not appropriate. Having legs on display is!

How is a man who is wearing shorts with his penis showing comparable to a child wearing shorts - it isn’t

Oh yes I’m sure some men need to stare as they are so confused and concerned by a child wearing shorts

Any more excuses for men’s vile behaviour