AIBU to let 12 yo DD go out wearing these shorts?

[christyt114]

DH says I am.

DD (12) (but looks about 14) has these shorts which I got for her to exercise in but she says they're comfortable and likes them so wears them out and about.

Yesterday she wore them with a short top when she walked to meet her friend. They got a Costa then walked back to ours.

DH said she was "asking for trouble" because she was wearing the shorts and wants me to tell her she can't wear them out and about.

He reckons a paedophile will look at her and think "her parents don't care about her" and will abduct her.

(She made it home safely by the way).

Who's BU?

She's not asking for trouble at all. If I saw a child wearing those shorts and a short top in costa I'd just think they look a bit of a state.

I would.

Yes, I'd be thinking my DH has a problem here. If something awful had have happened, your DH would think she was to blame? As she was looking for trouble? No friggin way.

They are very definitely the thing for tween/teens to be wearing, she should be able to wear what she what she feels comfortable and good in with impunity. Your DH has an outdated attitude and should be championing your daughters choice.

Buy yourself a matching outfit and meet her out with her friends whilst wearing it. She’ll soon decide it’s not a good look 🤣

@Hoppinggreen

She’s not fucking asking for anything Your husband is a Dickhead

I think he's just being protective and being responsible for his child?

Yes people should be able to wear what they like but that's just not the reality sadly.. we have to take some responsibility for ourselves as women to keep safe..

The daughter is 12 .. therefore her parents responsibility to keep her safe and protected. He's not a dickhead for wanting that for his child in the world we live in today. I think he's being a concerned parent, and rightly so imo

No I wouldn't let my DD wear that - other than for sport at age 12. I wouldn't let her drink coffee either though.

Yes people should be able to wear what they like but that's just not the reality sadly.. we have to take some responsibility for ourselves as women to keep safe…

Fuck off.

Did you see what Sarah Everard was wearing when she was killed?

Your husband is right and sounds like he really cares about his daughter. Posters on this thread are deluded if they think a 12 year old can change predatory men's thinking with the power of her attitude alone.

Very common attire for teens, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

What length of shorts would you consider make women immune to attack @FreeSpirits?

You husband has expressed himself all wrong but he's right. Obviously it's not DD's job not to get attacked, or not to get unwanted attention, but she's the one who suffers if she does.

A bit (not really of course) like you wouldn't leave a puppy unattended at a time of high dog thefts. It's still the thief's fault, but you're not going to deliberately leave your dog vulnerable.

I do think young girls look lovely dressed like that, but I wouldn't want mine going for coffee like it.

Posters on this thread are deluded if they think a 12 year old can change predatory men's thinking with the power of her attitude alone.

Where’s your evidence predatory men attack more women dressed in shorts?

@ImFree2doasiwant

This is such a minefield. Women and girls should be able to wear whatever the hell they want without being bloody learned at or people thinking they're "asking for it". FML.

That said, I can understand why, at 12 but looking 14, your H might not want her to wear them. At that age I wasn't capable of dealing with the inevitable attention I might have got. God, its just bloody depressing.

This.

A bit (not really of course) like you wouldn't leave a puppy unattended at a time of high dog thefts. It's still the thief's fault, but you're not going to deliberately leave your dog vulnerable.

That is not even vaguely the same.

Well since they look exactly the same as my sons boxers I'd say no on the basis that it would look like underwear.

[quote FreeSpirits]@PurpleDaisies no one is immune from attack.. not even men.[/quote]
So why is it the daughter’s responsibility to wear longer shorts to make herself safer?

What you wear has absolutely no connection to being sexually assaulted.
My dd is 12. She wears this type of thing. It's very in fashion at the moment.
She has also been sexually harassed by a grown man already. She was in her fucking school uniform at the time.

Honestly I wouldn't let my daughter go anywhere except the gym in these. They do attract unwanted attention and whilst I appreciate it's the problem with the perv I'm not willing to sacrifice DD to prove a point.

Its fine. Super common with teens atm. They are just shorts

A longer top might be better with them aesthetically but actually I think she should be able to wear what she likes.

No teen or pre teen is going to wear a long top with those.

They are not shorts. They are bloody underwear.