First time here eek

[pickle46]

Hello All
First time poster, what do I need to know about how Mumsnet works.
Any tips would be great
Thanks in advance to those who reply

We have naked Thursdays.

@NigelWithTheBrie79

We have naked Thursdays.

😂😂

LTB

HTH

You don't want to know about Fridays!

In all fairness op , welcome.
There are funny haha posters , funny lala posters.
Every day is a school day and you learn something new.
Toilet brushes are the devil here 🤷🏻‍♀️
Don't post in AIBU unless you want your arse handing to you on a plate.
There are some really knowledgeable posters , I've personally had loads of support over the years

Do not post a question in AIBU (Am I being Unreasonable) unless you've got your hard hat on. You can post the most obvious and uncontroversial question ever there and someone will have something bad to say about it.

Then some things that go down really badly on Mumsnet -

Drugs
Age gap relationships
When you're a step parent if you ask a question about the step children you will most likely be told you are wrong, the ex wife is right, and you shouldn't be with a person with children if you can't be ok with them doing whatever they want and the ex wife running your life (Semi joke, but not as much as you'd want it to be).
Post something about your husband (DH) has done and you will most likely be told a few times in your thread that he is abusive and you need to leave him (LTB).
Post something about wanting something from your mum and dad, like asking them to babysit or asking why they want to leave everything to the cats home when you and your sibling both live in tents and they have an eight bedroom house in Chelsea, you will be told you are greedy and that they don't owe you.
When you and your DH divorce the only child custody agreement should be EOW and half the holidays with their dad, he should leave the family home, and the mother becomes the RP. There are few comments who don't assume this will be the case. Whatever the divorce is happening for and whoevers fault, if anyones, it is it is assumed the children "belong" to the woman. But if someone ever posts years after a divorce and her ex only sees his children EOW and half the holidays everyone wants to know why he "Sees his children so little".

If you're an American, never admit it here. Pretend you're from Essex.

Don't complain about the NHS.

Parking threads need diagrams

Whatever you do, don't forget to cancel the cheque.

And never, ever, ask about Boswell.

We only go to CentreParks for bum sex.
Or is it that bum sex only happens at Centre Parks?
Dunno. I can't afford to go either way

There are a lot of "middle class" people or like to think they are sitting in judgement on what is considered "common". These people need to get a life.

Any discussion on weight, alcohol or smoking will end very badly.

First rule of mumsnet is you don't speak about mumsnet.

Thanks everyone for the heads up.
All very useful indeed. If someone could tell me the fascination about how many meals a roast chicken is meant to feed that would be very informative.

Don't forget to cancel the cheque

Don't leave your washing on the line overnight.

@pickle46

Hello All First time poster, what do I need to know about how Mumsnet works. Any tips would be great Thanks in advance to those who reply

Every bugger earns over £100k, has a ring doorbell and never answers their front door.

Also: you should cancel the cheque

You must never answer your front door (get it bricked up to be sure)
Never answer the landline phone between 9pm and 9am
No loo brushes or washing up bowls allowed
Never let your dog off the lead
Always recline your seat on an aeroplane
Your children can have 5 minutes on the computer every other week as long as you are sat next to them.
No TVs in bedrooms

There's loads more, hang around in AIBU long enough and there'll be a bunfight about most of the above.

Seriously though, take most of what's posted with a pinch of salt, watch out for the pesky trolls and report them. And only post if you don't mind it appearing in the papers.

If you want advice about a kitten you must post a photograph of the kitten.

That is the law.

"No is a complete sentence"
"Did you mean to be so rude?"

Both of these make you look like a dick in real life by the way.

Don’t forget to log everything with 101

Never go to A&E unless you are haemorrhaging from three or more orifices.

Dogs.

Just don't go there.

Any salads need to be 'massive' to go with your chicken that lasts a week.

Don't start a thread about driving because even if you are right you'll be wrong and shouldn't even be on the road probably. Also cycling.

If you have a hobby you must not disclose what it is.