First time here eek

[pickle46]

Hello All
First time poster, what do I need to know about how Mumsnet works.
Any tips would be great
Thanks in advance to those who reply

If you mean fuck say fuck, no asterisks necessary.
Never post on a thread unless you’ve at least read all the OP’s posts or you risk looking a right pillock.
Don’t say gender when you mean biological sex.

*spongers!

NB - MN doesn't have an 'edit' feature.

And the funniest thing about mumsnet is, probably... when there is an emergency, no one sorts out the emergency, they just post here and ask for advice from strangers on how to sort out the emergency.... like no one has a hospital/doctors/ambulance or anything . Nope mumnest is first port of call, for hours.

So I guess, first rule of mumsnet is, dont believe everything you read on mumsnet.

So il take your thanks and raise it, thanks for creating a fab "How to do mumsnet thread"!

Never ever think of this as a safe place. Don't post anything that you wouldn't be happy with yelling out loud on the street.

Thank you all so much for the lovely welcome, Much more enlightened about the dos and do nots of Mumsnet.

You can have unprotected sex and then ask on here if you're pregnant. You will be told to POAS ( piss on a stick - pregnancy test) and you can then say thank you, that you will, but that you wanted to see if pregnancy is likely by asking here first.

You must leave your husband (LTB) if he leaves the loo seat up. Or loads the dishwasher incorrectly.

Don't ever say anything remotely positive about your baby. You will be accused of being "a bit PFB" (Precious First Born). Even if it's not your first born. And even if a dog barked right in your baby's face and made them cry. It doesn't matter. The dog is reasonable; you are not.

If you post anything at all on social media you're attention seeking / in desperate need of validation / bragging. Always. Especially don't post pictures of your PFB. No one cares.

Don't ever give your children an electronic in device in a public place unless it's on silent or they have headphones. In fact just try not to
breathe in a restaurant / coffee shop and ask your children to refrain from the same if possible. You don't want to disturb anyone's enjoyment of the gentle hum of the coffee machine and the clattering of cutlery.

If you ask AIBU, you always are. No exceptions. Especially if a dog barked in your PFB's face.

agree, this is not a safe place, it can get mean, very mean. Remember the trolls. They hide in plain sight and do not ever take them to heart. You are better than them. Always.

If you start a thread on here asking if you are pregnant, never, ever have a test to hand, always be unable to go and buy a test for the next ten days for various daft reasons.
Mumsnet will decide if you are pregnant or not for you.

Don’t start a thread about how often you change your towels or bedding unless you want a bunfight. Some people change their towels every time they look at them. Others it’s weeks.

Don’t ask a question about something in your life if you just want people to agree with you or stroke your ego. Not going to happen and you’ll be told you need to go over there (Nethuns) and get your arse handing to you.

On here most people have, or are in a relationship with some one who has, a "high stress" job. These jobs are far too outing to actually say what they are but give the OP and their family an excuse for whatever it is they are doing even if it's abusive or wrong because their job isnt the same as most peoples. Then there are "high needs babies". These are babies who give the OP an excuse to say that all ideas wont work on their child because their child is so unusual that most people here won't have seen a child like it before.

Oh and most of us on here ripping mumsnet apart have been on here for decades.

You read that right not just years, decades.

And we are still here.

We love it. We are allowed to make up our own minds in a place where women come first and they are of all arm chair warrior sizes and literary proficiency.

Stick around. You might find a gem or two in the chaos.

When your drunk abusive husband torches the house and you're trapped upstairs, ask MN for advice. " My hair is on fire and it's triggering my anxiety, what should I do? "

Several people will offer a hand-hold and the rest will suck their teeth and warn you not to have sex with married. firemen.

In more useful news you can hide threads and hide whole topics. I've narrowed it down to 11 remaining topics now. Get rid of all the topics that you have no interest in and they'll not appear in your Active list.

If you have any DIY query, Piggletjohn on the property/DIY thread will give you brilliant advice.. has helped me many times!

Do t post in AIBU unless your question actually is an Am I being unreasonable question.. I'll let you off this time as you're a newby

Welcome OP

(OP = Original Post/Poster)

@2bazookas actually snorted

@AlwaysLatte

You must leave your husband (LTB) if he leaves the loo seat up. Or loads the dishwasher incorrectly.

Because these are obvious red flags, and things will only escalate.

I thought meant "donut" as in you are a bit of a donut??????

Patio is a verb on here.

It means to bury ones husband under the patio.

'DH ate my last kitkat, so I patioed him'.

Keep them coming, amazed to have so many replies

Lurk for several years before you post, especially on AIBU.

Theres a big difference between how people respond to you when you are the OP vs just another poster on the thread.

The night crowd can be after blood.

There's plenty of utter rubbish - if there are twins, a laughably vile ex, financial abuse and a drug habit all in one OP odds are it's not real.

Never, ever post a reverse
(Pretending to be from the other person's perspective)

Do not drip or drop feed. Your post needs to contain exactly correct information.

Any thread about a child, someone will ask if they're NT.
Any thread about an adult, someone will ask if they're NT