First time here eek

[pickle46]

Hello All
First time poster, what do I need to know about how Mumsnet works.
Any tips would be great
Thanks in advance to those who reply

@Sparklingbrook

If you scroll down to the 'smiley hints' it says 'No Comment' next to the biscuit.

At Christmas you can do these

There's a biscuit for all seasons!

@LadyCatStark haha that’s brilliant! I’ll need to give that a google

@Sparklingbrook

If you scroll down to the 'smiley hints' it says 'No Comment' next to the biscuit.

At Christmas you can do these

What in the bejesus!!

These seasonal biscuits are awesome

Posting about a parking stand off with your neighbours will make for a very popular thread.
But make sure you do frequent updates and invent a fantastic ending or there will be disappointment all round.

Many DH's are presented as either abusive or bumbling, lazy but good natured half wits.

God bloody help you if you're a step mum also. Lol

Don't ever give your child any drink that isn't tap water or milk. Squash, juice, flavoured water and (heaven forbid) fizzy drinks will render Mumsnet catatonic. Your child need only sip or smell such a thing and they will end up an obese diabetic with no teeth and ADHD like tendencies. Even adults on Mumsnet who drink these drinks are looked at like they are unhealthy and common.

If a ‘D’H is portraying abusive behaviour, they will be declared a fantastic dad in spite of their arsehole ways.

Plenty of posters think they look a good 10 to 15 years younger than they actually are and ask "guess my age". Unfortunately, they look their age or older. This will encourage other attention seekers to post their photos.

It will inevitably lead to some insincere responses and a quite a few more honest responses. It never ends well.

All children like their mother more than their father. Should a child say it likes its father more or wants to live with him then the child is obviously being abused it bought.

^^ or bought

@Sparklingbrook

If you scroll down to the 'smiley hints' it says 'No Comment' next to the biscuit.

At Christmas you can do these

But... it's not Christmas.

...is it?

@NotImpossible, you can do them all year round, I was just demonstrating the santa hat smiley range as it were.

Christmas can only be mentioned from 1/12 onwards unless in Christmas Topic.

The 10 Commandments of Mumsnet -

1. Thou shall not use a toilet brush.
2. Thou shall always Leave the Bastard.
3. Thou shall be sat here trembling and shaking.
4. Thou shall never say hun/xx/hubs.
5. Thou shall refer to the explanatory thread on sex and gender before posting anything about sex and gender.
6. Thou shall swear.
7. Thou shall have an undisclosed hobby or be with someone who has an undisclosed hobby.
8. Thou shall use every abbreviation in the Mumsnet dictionary whereby Spider is DSpider.
9. Thou shall Hope This Helps.

10. Failing these, thou shall fuck off to the far side of fuck.

Dear Heavens.
Major rookie mistake to put first MN post in AIBU.
Good Luck.

Cats are better than dogs, except when dogs are better than cats.

Baby hedgehogs are "adorable".
Except when they are thought of as vermin.
Ditto foxes.

You should always make your own gravy from scratch, taking 3 days, using the virgin plasma of ancient goats from the Himalayas, as gravy granules are abhorrent.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

Everyone is handing out their first LTB

I am still waiting to give my first one out. I have been here since it was all fields

Everybody in real life either calls people out or gets screamed. E.g " The checkout guy screamed at me to put my things on the conveyor belt so I called him out. AIBU?"

You can't just smile at a funny post, you must spit your tea all over your phone and be crying with laughter.

Thou must not start a parking thread without (first preparing a mathematically precise, to perfect scale and with footnotes at minimum) diagram. Much time shall we spent critiquing said diagram, amidst the increasing fervor of the outcome of said parking issue.

A Friday or Saturday night parking thread is much feted here on MN.

Welcome!

Hmm
Not sure if I'm going to last long here. I own a loo brush,certainly don't earn £100,000 plus a year, use instant gravy and have a happy family life with not too many dramas. However I don't ever call anyone Hun, so I might be okay

@pickle46

Hmm Not sure if I'm going to last long here. I own a loo brush,certainly don't earn £100,000 plus a year, use instant gravy and have a happy family life with not too many dramas. However I don't ever call anyone Hun, so I might be okay

Same as the other 99.9% of us then!

@pickle46

Hmm Not sure if I'm going to last long here. I own a loo brush,certainly don't earn £100,000 plus a year, use instant gravy and have a happy family life with not too many dramas. However I don't ever call anyone Hun, so I might be okay

Ah shoot. You said the H word.

Now you have to name change immediately. Or else, you may choose to flounce. Those are your only (public) options, sad to say.

I think you'll do just fine pickle. Welcome.