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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up with how utterly messy (and gross) DH is

198 replies

Thesmellofsunshine · 12/08/2021 17:43

I am genuinely considering asking him to move out because I just cannot take anymore...
I clean up more after DH than I do 2 toddlers. And not “normal” tidying up either
We have a sofa which generally looks nice if not being slept on every night by a 17 stone man who is too lazy to walk to bed. And when not having food dropped al over it by a mid thirties man whilst the children eat at the table. Every single morning I have to come down and twist the cushion covers back around from him being slumped on it and reshape them.
I also regularly find he has wiped his snot on things like walls, doors, the side of the sofa, under the table etc. Occasionally he will just blow his snot onto the floor for me to step in on my way past.
Similar to a lot of men he often spends a long time shitting in the toilet. Then leaves it for me to clean.

It’s the fact that I’m pretty much spending my life sorting out part of the sofa that I have repeatedly asked him not to sleep on as he is slowly destroying it, part of the sofa that only he sits on (the comfiest bit, the chaise bit on the corner).

The fact that I’m cleaning bogies off of my home when my children dont even do that.

The fact that I’m cleaning poo that’s not mine and often don’t see it until it’s dried so I have to scrub it, whereas I’ve explained to him that if he throws a bit of bleach down the toilet and shuts the lid it will likely slide off.

Very fed up and feeling like my otherwise good relationship is failing because of this disgusting man.

Yes, he has always been like this but I guess I have run out of breath in telling him not to do these things

OP posts:
kaleidoscopeheartless · 12/08/2021 17:45

I have to ask if he's always been disgusting why have you stayed with him?

FluffyPJs · 12/08/2021 17:46

If he has always been like this, why did you marry and have kids with him? I just couldn't respect and have affection for someone who is so disgusting and has such little respect for you and your home.

YouHaveNoAuthorityHereJackie · 12/08/2021 17:46

That’s absolutely vile. Where’s his respect for himself let alone you?

UndeadSlut · 12/08/2021 17:47

Oh God that's gross. It's not just untidiness and laziness it's actually DISGUSTING.

My ex used to sleep on the sofa because he snored, and so he could spend more time gaming. It STANK, the cushions yellowed and it was constantly misshapen. When we split I wanted to incinerate it.

I can't even comment on the snot thing.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 12/08/2021 17:47

He’s literally be an ex the disgusting pig!

Wellonlyifihaveto · 12/08/2021 17:47

Oh god, wiping snot on furniture and blowing it on the floor? 🤮🤮🤮fucking hell he’s a minger.

goodwinter · 12/08/2021 17:47

Occasionally he will just blow his snot onto the floor for me to step in on my way past.

He fucking WHAT? I have honestly never heard of anyone doing this before. How little respect must he have for his home and his family to act like that?

If you're serious about getting to the point where you want to end the relationship, you need to make that clear and follow through if he doesn't stop. Personally I think I'd be beyond having "the ick" by this point and I'm not sure I'd see a way back. Sorry you're dealing with this.

Chikapu · 12/08/2021 17:48

I also regularly find he has wiped his snot on things like walls, doors, the side of the sofa, under the table etc. Occasionally he will just blow his snot onto the floor for me to step in on my way past

Oh my god, I actually gagged reading that. How on earth can you bring yourself to be intimate with the disgusting sod? That is by no means normal behaviour, it's fucking gross and disrespectful to you and your home. Get rid of the filthy bugger.

Letthelightoflove · 12/08/2021 17:49

Oh my god that’s awful OP. Does he like you? I wouldn’t treat a flatmate I hated like that, or a live-in housekeeper which makes me wonder why he treats you like this and why you are putting up with it.
I would honestly leave him.

CupoTeap · 12/08/2021 17:49

I hope this is not true

RJnomore1 · 12/08/2021 17:49

He does WHAT now?

A lot of men don’t notice the toilet until
You educate them as mum cleaned it but once they know they should clean up
after themselves. Sofa cushions are the bane of my life too even if it’s me that’s sat on them.

But the snot - my god that’s not normal how on earth do you live with him. It would have happened once and I’d never have seen him ever again. I feel sick at the thought.

Do you have sex with this prince among men? 🤢

FreeSpirits · 12/08/2021 17:49

What the actual fuck??! He snots on the floor and wipes it on the walls 🤢🤮 fucking disgusting

tiredofthisshit21 · 12/08/2021 17:50

This can't be for real. I get that some men are this disgusting, but what kind of doormat puts up with it?

Jubaju · 12/08/2021 17:50

Do you like with Shrek?!

wineandroses1 · 12/08/2021 17:50

This is vile - especially the snot and the shit 🤮

Ultimatum time; he can sort his gross self out or ship out. I could not bear living like you do Op.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 12/08/2021 17:51

Nope! Not true. It can't be.

Sorry OP - but that is a leap or 6 past disgusting!

YelloYelloYello · 12/08/2021 17:51

Occasionally he will just blow his snot onto the floor for me to step in on my way past.
Wtf?!

I am genuinely considering asking him to move out because I just cannot take anymore...
Honestly, you would be mad not to.

bigbaggyeyes · 12/08/2021 17:52

The snot thing would have me putting his clothes in bin bags and on the door step. That's beyond revolting.

Im presuming he also does this at work? No? If not why not! Or does he simply see you as a maid and someone who's only worthy of cleaning up his snot and shit.

TwilightSkies · 12/08/2021 17:52

I feel sick just reading that. He needs to go!

FlorenceNightshade · 12/08/2021 17:52

Nope nope NOPE! Everything you’ve said is awful!! You need to sit down and set some hard limits and boundaries about basic respect and hygiene!
Has he really always been like this or could there be underlying stress or MH issues? If not he needs reading the riot act and let him know it’s a deal breaker for you. Good luck

Takenoprisoner · 12/08/2021 17:52

'Otherwise good relationship?'

I'm lost for words.

He's disgusting. I would boot him out so hard I'd do myself an injury.

HeyDugeesCakeBadge · 12/08/2021 17:53

I honestly thought my DH was the most disgusting pig on the planet but yours takes the biscuit. I honestly could not live like that. LTB.

Choice4567 · 12/08/2021 17:53

Wow that’s just made me feel sick reading that. 🤢🤮

I would not be staying

Lulu1919 · 12/08/2021 17:53

Speechless

KaptainKaveman · 12/08/2021 17:53

I almost gagged reading this. He is a pig, OP. Utterly disgusting ( boak).