To be fed up with how utterly messy (and gross) DH is

[Thesmellofsunshine]

I am genuinely considering asking him to move out because I just cannot take anymore...
I clean up more after DH than I do 2 toddlers. And not “normal” tidying up either
We have a sofa which generally looks nice if not being slept on every night by a 17 stone man who is too lazy to walk to bed. And when not having food dropped al over it by a mid thirties man whilst the children eat at the table. Every single morning I have to come down and twist the cushion covers back around from him being slumped on it and reshape them.
I also regularly find he has wiped his snot on things like walls, doors, the side of the sofa, under the table etc. Occasionally he will just blow his snot onto the floor for me to step in on my way past.
Similar to a lot of men he often spends a long time shitting in the toilet. Then leaves it for me to clean.

It’s the fact that I’m pretty much spending my life sorting out part of the sofa that I have repeatedly asked him not to sleep on as he is slowly destroying it, part of the sofa that only he sits on (the comfiest bit, the chaise bit on the corner).

The fact that I’m cleaning bogies off of my home when my children dont even do that.

The fact that I’m cleaning poo that’s not mine and often don’t see it until it’s dried so I have to scrub it, whereas I’ve explained to him that if he throws a bit of bleach down the toilet and shuts the lid it will likely slide off.

Very fed up and feeling like my otherwise good relationship is failing because of this disgusting man.

Yes, he has always been like this but I guess I have run out of breath in telling him not to do these things

I'm creasing at the "don't be asking for me back" 😂😂😂 What an arrogant cock.

@Thesmellofsunshine

Wasn’t expecting so many replies.. just a rant really . Thank you. It helps to know you all feel the same about this kind of stuff. Would any of you actually end a relationship over this if it was otherwise good? He’s v affectionate and loves me and the kids well. It’s just the pure disgust at his habits I can’t cope with. I just keep imagining a life where it’s just me and the kids and I only have to do small normal bits of housework every day

I wouldn’t have started a relationship with someone so revolting.

And the thought of him being ‘affectionate’

I'm (not very) ashamed to say that my domestic standards are pretty slack, but even I'm utterly gobsmacked by this level of grossness. The bogies everywhere and snotting on the floor nearly made me gag.

It'd be ultimatum time for me, I'm afraid: stop the snotting and deal with your skid marks or pack your bags.

@Thesmellofsunshine

He said doesn’t understand why I can click my fingers and he just have to move out. He should be able to live in peace etc. Then he says fuck if I will move out in a couple of weeks but don’t be asking for me back

Now he’s having a go at DD for leaving her dollies everywhere

Crikey, he is a right catch isn't he!

Surely you wouldn't want anyone back if they regularly smeared snot everywhere and left the toilet shitty.

I'd rather have DD's dollies lying around any day.

@Seeleyboo good lord, there must be a “snotty” species of men out there.

@ParistoLondon same!

This is the most disgusting thing I have ever read 🤢🤢🤢🤢 leaving shite in the toilet , laziness, messiness are bad enough but the bogie stuff is just beyond the pale. I have a neighbour who blows his snot on the pavement outside our gardens and I thought that was vile and disrespectful but for a grown man to do this in his own house. I just can't 🤢🤢🤢

FFS is not about a few bogies.

It's the utter disrespect he shows to everyone else in the house.

Why should they risk stepping in snot, or putting hands on a bogie infected door frame, checking the sink before they wash up???

Or opening the toilet to find it covered in skid marks?

Constantly re-arranging a stinking, dirty smelly, ruined sofa because he won't shower or use his own bed meaning no-one else can/would want to use it.

Then on top of all that having the gall to blame that on his own children....because he doesn't want to own it.

That alone is a reason to kick him out.

@Thesmellofsunshine

He said doesn’t understand why I can click my fingers and he just have to move out. He should be able to live in peace etc. Then he says fuck if I will move out in a couple of weeks but don’t be asking for me back

Now he’s having a go at DD for leaving her dollies everywhere

Your husbands an arsehole, and he doesn’t love you. He knows that’s it’s disgusting to leave snot and shit everywhere.

I wonder if you left sanitary towel on the floor he’d think that was ok?

I don’t think for one minute he would do this at someone else’s house. So he know, he just doesn’t give a shit. He has no respect for you, or your children.

You need to discover why you put up with this? Why is your self esteem so low that you accept this.

My ex was a disgusting man, and I look back and could cry for the person that put up with that

Well, when he moves out he will be able to live in peace and fucking bathe in snot if that is his wish.

I don’t know what it is with some men, they behave revoltingly and still somehow thing they‘re God’s gift.

I hope he’s soon gone and you can enjoy having a clean and hygienic home, OP. And get him to take the sofa with him.

@Thesmellofsunshine

Yes when he asked why I wasn’t eating I said I feel sick at listening to the snot leave your nose - he just said “oh ok sorry I didn’t realise” but I was sat in the same room ffs. Just had the conversation with him, didn’t offer any ultimatums tbh because I don’t think I will ever not be disgusted even if he stops - I just said I couldn’t cope anymore with living like this. I’m an extremely clean and tidy person, my house and my kids are pristine at all times - then this. I am grossed out but it’s not that that bothers me - it’s the disrespect of basically thinking “it’s ok sunshine will clean it up”. He had nothing to say really, just went quiet for a bit then said “it’s just because I’ve had a cold recently, I can’t believe you want me to move out because of a few bogies”

So I’ve pointed out that you can’t have a cold for this many years and it still doesn’t explain everything else and please could you make arrangements. He hasn’t said anything more so will start pestering him in a couple of days or so

FFS has this man never heard of tissues or even toilet paper. NOONE blows their nose like it’s absolutely fucking rank. The not showering after work would put me right off, my DH is a manual worker and has a shower and outs clean clothes on right away. It’s just basic hygiene and respect for family you live with.

@ChaToilLeam "Get him to take the sofa with him" 😂😂😂 Best piece of advice i've heard so far. 😉

Ok.

You need to play him at his own game.

"I'm sure I might regret it but i need you to move out to be sure. Maybe after a few weeks I'll appreciate you more.

I also know how much you love the sofa, so feel free to take it with you if you want."

Just make sure you give him every reason to leave, not a reason to stay.

I hope and pray this is a wind up because otherwise it disturbs me that a person would live like this and allow their kids to live in that situation. Genuinely, my dog is cleaner than your husband. I'm just fucking speechless.

I wouldn't live with someone like that. That's fucking disgusting. Poor kids that he's their dad.

I too hope he's soon gone OP.
Get rid of the sofa, even sitting on cushions on the floor would be better than that until you can afford a new one.
Blitz the snot and shit and then once its done you can enjoy your clean home with your DC.
You will be free from this awful man and the disgusting workload that comes with him.

@Thesmellofsunshine

Literally as I’m reading through replies I’m eating my dinner and he’s gone past me, put a finger on one nostril and blown into the sink. I heard it hit the bottom of the sink. Now he’s asking why I’ve thrown my dinner away. I think I’ve just got a lot of built up resent to him tbh. I keep thinking I’ve saved enough and would love to buy a lovely new sofa but what’s the bloody point because in a few weeks time it will be out of shape, stained and slept on again anyway

I feel sick just reading this. Seriously, you need to leave him. This is the most revolting thing I've ever read on here.

I wouldn't have ever cleaned his shit up in the first place
A boyfriend once spilt his drink on the side, dumped the teabag out his cup on the worktop and went to walk off. I asked him if he was fucking joking and who he thought the cleaning fairy was. And yes I dumped him, I'm not his mother

Good god. This is vile.
The last thing I read that made me feel this sick at the thought was the thread about poo crumbs...

You can not live like this. Good for you for telling him to leave. I hope you're able to stand firm. His lack of respect in his response tells you all you need to know.

You actually clean up snot from a grown adult?

OP, I now can't eat my dinner because I feel so sick just reading about this. How you can live with it I do not know. How have you not starved to death? How are you not in a state of permanent nausea?

What ever attracted you to him?

You have sex with this man?
I dread to think where he wipes his nob after ... penis beaker would be too much to ask!

People with gross habits like OPs partner's really do live among us and I think I work with a couple of them!

I have had to regularly clean the staff toilet (used by men & women) with bleach wipes before I can use it.. I won't go into detail but... disgusting isn't the word.

@Thesmellofsunshine I could not have coped with the shit thing let alone the snot thing. Just no.

This is utterly disgusting. As for him saying it’s a few bogies - eww is he 3?, and also, i bet he doesn’t go round wiping his boogies on the walls at work or at his parents house for example. It’s both disgusting and a total lack of respect to you and the kids and I have non idea how you’ve put up with it for so long.

I’d absolutely break up with someone who did this, yes. Then again i’d never stay with anyone who did this let alone move in and marry them so i’m struggling to understand how you did.

(Not envy)
I have no words....are his family the same??
He will never change because he sees no wrong in it