To think this is really unfair and he's put me in an awkward position

[Lordye]

I'm on maternity leave at the moment, baby isn't sleeping great so I'm pretty knackered which my husband knows.

My DSC are staying for the next week and I have them with me occasionally during the school holidays, whilst DH works and other times he takes time off.

I've just been informed by one of DSC that they've spoken to their Dad who's said it's fine for both of them to have friends stay tonight.

So basically DH has agreed they can have a friend over each, knowing that he'll be out the door at 7am and it'll be me all day with a baby and 4 other DC until friends go home (which given its school holidays, who knows when that will be?)

I've messaged him and asked why on earth he didn't think to ask me first and apparently it's fine because he'll be there in the evening and then tomorrow they can just entertain themselves... (Yeah right, the house will be noisy, shouting chaos!) Oh and he apparently told them they have to 'be good'...

I feel like I can't say no now because then it's me who looks like the horrible one.

They obviously have friends to stay but it's always been at a weekend when DH is also here and takes the lead with stuff.

I'm so annoyed that he's basically not even bothered to consider me at all before deciding it's okay when I'm the one who'll have to deal with it and he knows I'm knackered!

AIBU to be pissed off and think that's so out of order?

Another well done here.

Hopefully he will learn his lesson!

For those saying that it's as easy to have friends stay, yes it is when you've grown into your children. I think many women forget what their first baby was like. By the time that are old enough for sleepovers, you've got family life off to pat. That's not a put down on the OP. Being stepmum and not mother makes a difference as well.

Well done OP.

I would strongly recommend that you skip off to your mother's for the weekend.

His utter and complete disregard and disrespect for you is clear.

You have been putting up with this for too long and clearly he is of the opinion that you do not matter.

Classic selfish behaviour of a man with young children after he separates.

Recruit a doormat to act as skivvy/au pair for his children.

Let this be the beginning of you standing up for yourself.

Looking after other children is a responsibility and not what a new mother of a young baby with little sleep wants to be doing.

The children asked him and he expects you the skivvy to suck it up.

Wake up and stand up for yourself.

Start by going to your mothers and tell him it will be your go to position if he attempts to disrespect you again.

Think twice about having another child with him.

He sounds like a twat.

Good result, Well done.

apparently 'didnt think it would be that bad'

At least he knows now and has had to make accommodations, so has every encouragement to remember in future.

Glad you’ve sorted it and made it clear you require his respect. Hope the weekend goes well!

Well done OP.

Wonder if he will actually think it was that bad after he's dealt with it!

He doesn't own your time and has no business planning events and activities for you. Good work on setting him straight.

Well done @Lordye.

Great result. I hope he enjoys looking after all the kids including the baby this weekend while you go to a mates or something. It 'won't be that bad' for him.

Well done!

He apparently 'didnt think it would be that bad'

So obviously at the weekend you leave him to cope with the situation entirely. Even if you don't actually go away make sure he does everything required to care for and cater for the additional kids. Then we will see whether he thinks it is "that bad"

Also if I were he once the children wake up drive them to their parents so they are not staying over when tired for hours and hours the next day.

@5foot5

Well done!

He apparently 'didnt think it would be that bad'

So obviously at the weekend you leave him to cope with the situation entirely. Even if you don't actually go away make sure he does everything required to care for and cater for the additional kids. Then we will see whether he thinks it is "that bad"

Oh I think the OP will have to go away otherwise she WILL get roped in!

Well done!! Glad it's been resolved.
Him saying it wouldnt be that bad is telling. He's likely never had to do it.

Well done, great result. Do go to your mum's at the weekend as he needs to do it on his own to have any idea of what he's putting on you.

Well done. I'm guessing the other parents thought he was slightly crazy to offer to host a sleepover during the workweek, so I doubt they are very surprised he canceled.