AIBU to think this outfit is inappropriate?

[MadameKali]

Picture of Grayson Perry at a wedding. Posted to Instagram with the caption "I am at a wedding, I didn't want to upstage the bride so went comfy and low key"

AIBU in thinking that in this outfit, upstaging the bride is exactly what he wanted to do? The comments on his post are all "Fab outfit", "You look amazing", "I bet the bride wouldn't have minded being upstaged by you" etc etc. I normally like GP but this is just so me, me, me and selfish.

Who goes to a wedding in dungarees and a hoodie? Am I just being a grump? It wouldn't be completely unheard of

How would this upstage the bride really? I think he was genuinely trying to be himself but not wear his more flamboyant attire. As if people are going to be like well bride I was going to say how fabulous you looked but then I saw that dude in the dungarees! I had a friend in uni who dressed similar it was so normal nobody noticed. In fact him Turing up in a black suit and tie would probably stand out more.

[quote toconclude]@CuriousaboutSamphire
They are not understanding because you are talking balderdash. The so-called disease you quote is made up by transphobes and anti cross dresser bigots to justify their hate and paint all gender nonconforming people as perverts. It's EXACTLY the same as the psychiatrists who put homosexuality on the list of mental disorders and justified ' treating them with hormones, shock therapy and drugs. Or are you A-OK with that too? Oh, and they target kids too. Right out of the scared and vicious homophobia playbook.
Can't have anyone who makes 'normal' folk uncomfortable can we?
Your posts are vile and disgusting[/quote]
Utter tripe.

Who said disease? YOU did, nobody else. Weird thinking on your side there!

And what quote? I quoted nothing. Stop making things up.

If you think that AGP is mis-described then take that up with GP, and many other men who describe their fetish in exactly the same way. As an ally you serve transvestites very poorly by denying them their own truths!

Shock therapies, hormone treatments and drugs? Are you against hormone treatments and drugs for 'gender non conforming people'? Interesting! Again you seem to be denying a cohort of people their own agency!

A-OK! Mmm! Not entirely sure we aren't being separated by a common language there!

Homophobia? Where? GP isn't gay. What are you talking about?

Or are you hoping that by conflating two entirely different issues and shouting HOMPHOBE you'll silence me?

Nice try, but so very weak in the execution, You'll need to do better if you think you will persuade women here to you own brand of vitriol. And this isn't even FWR!

A number of ignorant and narrow minded people on this thread. He's a brilliant artist and his friends love him.

I think I prefer artists who don't show off their sexual fetishes to the general public and admit being turned on by dressing as a little girl. Does that really make me ignorant and narrow-minded? Oh well.

I missed your reply before it was deleted @CuriousaboutSamphire. If it included a link to some evidence, I'd still be happy to read it.

Re. dressing with a sexual element - don't lots of people do that? High heels, revealing tops, short skirts, tight t-shirts etc.

Does that really make me ignorant and narrow-minded? Oh well

It really does.

It’s not ignorant to feel uncomfortable looking at a man dressed as a little girl when he’s admitted being dressed as/treated like a little girl sexually arouses him.

And it isn’t homophobic. He identifies as heterosexual and is married to a woman.

And wearing high heels isn’t comparable to saying you love being treated like a ‘pretty little girl’ as it humiliates and turns you on. It just isn’t the same situation at all.

@Monestera

I missed your reply before it was deleted *@CuriousaboutSamphire*. If it included a link to some evidence, I'd still be happy to read it.

Re. dressing with a sexual element - don't lots of people do that? High heels, revealing tops, short skirts, tight t-shirts etc.

I have no idea why that comment was deleted. I assume it got 'Monitored' for some reason. I was no less circumspect in what I said there than I have been in all other posts.

@Monestera I don't know whether you are being obtuse or just don't see it but if you don't want to believe the man, any man, when he says he has a fetish that includes dressing as a female then that's your choice. Robs him of agency, but there you go!

@CuriousaboutSamphire I think that there's a difference between being a transvestite and being a danger to kids. You appear not to.

You can say that as often as you want. It just shows you haven't read my posts, or have chose to 'interpret' what I actually typed. For example "danger to kids" is your interpretation of my personal distaste when GP wore a pretty frock when at a children's event, even one with Kate Middleton (Museum for Art Room Charity event)! Easily found online. I didn't say he had any designs on the kods, or was in anyway a gander to them - that is your interpretation and/or misunderstanding of AGP!

And makes you persistent requests for links redundent. Asking for a link to something that hasn't happened, or been said to happen? Your interpetation is not what I said or meant. And it won't be whatt I typed or meant however many times you repeat your assertion. Sorry, no Twatter fodder heer!

Nor have you taken on board what various scientists in the field say, or what GP himself has said. Maybe you don't actually know any transvestites and/or men with AGP. As I have said a few times, here and other threads, I do! All heterosexual, married with kids.

I tend to believe them when they describe their reasons for dressng as women.

Tiresome.

God I wish I had proof read that first

A gander? oops!

I don't think I'm the one being obtuse.

You claimed he has form for using an official engagement with small children for kicks.

I explained that this worries me, as someone who actually admires and enjoys his work.

I asked for evidence otherwise it's a dangerous slur.

You have been unable to do this.

Sorry, no Twatter fodder heer! I literally have no clue what you're saying, and you reckon I've been obtuse.

You claimed he has form for using an official engagement with small children for kicks. Yep! But where does that say he is a danger to the kids involved?

He cross dresses to satisfy his fetish. He says so, it is why he cross dresses.

He does so even when on offical engagements; some engagements include kids. Pictures, many of them available, some recentl ones with royalty involved.

No part of that is false!

I have been unable to show you any proof for something I have not asserted. Ask yourself why that is?

As I said, your interpretation seems based on a misunderstanding of AGP and a persistent misinterpretation of what I have posted.

And that is tiresome. Disingenuous perhaps!

Ok. I don't think I'm the only one being disingenuous.

You don't see many women going around dressed like little boys do you?

Does that really make me ignorant and narrow-minded? Oh well.

It really does.

Ok I'm pretty surprised at that, I must admit. Do you genuinely not think there’s anything wrong with a middle-aged man being sexually aroused by dressing as a little girl then? I think most people would have a problem with that. I find it pretty repulsive tbh. And I don't really understand why anyone would voluntarily and repeatedly answer questions about their sexual fetishes in interviews.

@lazylinguist

I get it, totally. Especially the language used around it, he loves being a ‘pretty little girl’ and it makes him feel ‘vulnerable.’

It’s not a fantasy I feel comfortable with, especially when it’s being put in the public eye and people are rushing to fulfil it and validate it by telling him how great he looks.

And I don’t feel it’s ignorant and narrow minded. I don’t want to pretend a grown man dressed as a little girl who wants to be ‘petted’ looks cute and pretty. He doesn’t. He looks like an old man dressed like a little girl.

Attention seeking nob.

Succinctly put, EmeraldShamrock.

I don't get the vitriol. He's a man who says he's not gay and he's not a woman. He's a heterosexual man who sometimes likes to crossdress. I can find zero evidence of him being a danger to children or any reference to his alter ego, Claire, being a girl (he describes her more like Camilla Parker-Bowles).

www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2014/oct/04/grayson-perry-dress-tranny-art-who-are-you-tv

Claire's pleasure comes from being cooed over and petted like a pretty little girl.

After a phase of "neo-naturist" performance - flashing in museums, baring all in church halls - he enrolled for evening classes in pottery and found what for the time being he regards as his medium.

the young Grayson took refuge in an intense relationship with a teddy called Alan Measles, with whom he played the bondage games

He was clear from early on that, though his transvestism was an erotic urge,

There you go, all quotes from the guardian article on him. Not sure how to link to the specific article but none of that sounded appropriate to me.

And if you have seen the front cover of his book, he is in a light blue party frock with ribbons in his hair riding a bicycle. It doesn’t strike me as very Camilla Parker Bowles personally.