Page 9 | What's the worst thing someone did when you had a new baby?

Cuddlyrottweiler · 2021-08-08T09:52:29+00:00

Another thread reminded me of this, it's probably tame compared to some of yours though! MIL called my DH in from another room and told him to take my newborn, crying baby off me and give him to her. After I'd refused several times, because I knew what he needed and couldn't do it. Luckily for our marriage he saw the look and my face and told her no.

lannistunut · 08/08/2021 15:22

In fact lots of people were really unhelpful in that short stressful phase

I am a much more kind person myself as a result of both the events themselves and experiencing firsthand just how unkind some people are!

CorianderBee · 08/08/2021 15:22

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

Right after dd2 was born, dh bought me a lovely emerald and diamond ring - I’d never had an engagement ring.

A friend and neighbour took one look and said, ‘You got that for a girl?’

To be entirely fair, she was from a Mediterranean culture where boys were definitely favoured, but still….

Fucking hell. That's brutal. Frankly I despise the idea that boys are better. Women are incredible. My own father said from the day my mum first got pregnant that he hoped they had six girls. He's a real feminist ally. He's got my back and always said he was glad I was female.

santabetterwashhishands · 08/08/2021 15:26

My brother told me how unfair it was because I'd had a girl first and now a little boy 😳
And he and his 3 daughters wouldn't be having anything to do with him 🤣
Your loss knobhead 🤷‍♀️

PrancerandDancer · 08/08/2021 15:30

Not so "D"M told me I was lazy for having an emergency C-section after a failed induction. Luckily I took no heed and was perfectly happy with the birth but the comment could have really hurt others. My lovely and usually non argumentative MIL told her she was out of order and she had no idea 😁😁

An old lady in the doctors surgery saw me breastfeeding in the waiting room and asked "what's wrong, won't she take a bottle?"
Receptionist overheard and the nurse came out and gave her a telling off, saying comments like that are why breastfeeding numbers are so low and she should mind her own 😂😂

30degreesandmeltinghere · 08/08/2021 15:30

Not sure after which dc but ils sat holding the baby while I made a huge roast dinner..

ARabbitisaBunny · 08/08/2021 15:31

Had an emergency csection and was a little stunned for a few days after. A cleaner came into the room to mop the floor, looked at the baby and said that I should move the crib away from the window because ‘the light would give the baby jaundice’. I knew she was talking rubbish, but burst into tears and cried pretty much for the rest of the day. A couple of years later, I was back in for another section and low and behold, the same cleaner came into my room. This time, she was crying. She told me through her sniffles that she had imparted some words of wisdom to a new mum in another room and was roundly told to fuck off! She said she was only trying to help. I didn’t feel an ounce of sympathy and have often wondered how many vulnerable women she’d upset over the years.

inpixiehollow · 08/08/2021 15:33

I invited MIL around to see the baby the day I came home from hospital. Baby was born at 7:30pm and I came home at lunchtime the following day so very fresh. She came at 6pm and stayed until 11pm. I went to run myself a bath at 8pm (hadnt bathed or showered since the birth) hoping she would take the hint and leave. When I came down the stairs she was still sat on the sofa holding my baby!
I was furious and she will not be invited to visit baby no2 when he arrives in November for at least a week due to that inappropriate behaviour

boomoperator · 08/08/2021 15:37

I was very ill and had to be blue lighted back into hospital with DS1 when he was 5 days old. DH was left by himself as we don’t have any family beyond those in Singapore. So he phoned my best friend and asked for help. She was away for the night with her husband so couldn’t help fair enough. He called on two other friends who came. I got out of hospital after a week.

My best friend contacted me 3 weeks later to find out if I was home and ok.

This was someone who has been in my life since nursery school. DH and I were both hurt.

boomoperator · 08/08/2021 15:39

@boomoperator

I was very ill and had to be blue lighted back into hospital with DS1 when he was 5 days old. DH was left by himself as we don’t have any family beyond those in Singapore. So he phoned my best friend and asked for help. She was away for the night with her husband so couldn’t help fair enough. He called on two other friends who came. I got out of hospital after a week.

My best friend contacted me 3 weeks later to find out if I was home and ok.

This was someone who has been in my life since nursery school. DH and I were both hurt.

Without DS. DH was left alone with DS1. Poor typing.

DinosaurDiana · 08/08/2021 15:39

My in-laws didn’t think we should be having another baby, so they didn’t announce his birth in the paper or give us £100 to start an account, like they did for the other 3.

PostMenWithACat · 08/08/2021 15:44

First community midwife visit - a total stranger. Focused entirely on sex, contraception and pelvic floor exercises even though I was very clear I did not wish to discuss them with her. At which point she took her left elbow in her right hand and waved her left hand backwards and forwards in the air. "Well if you don't do the exercises, this is what your man is going to say sex feels like". I hadn't said I wouldn't do the exercises, I had said I did not wish to discuss those issues with a complete stranger three days after giving birth. I shall never forget it and the baby is 26!

Tara336 · 08/08/2021 15:47

DD was 5 hours old, DM turns up at visiting time and the first thing she said to me was, I suppose you’ll try for a boy now. My DM is an absolute twat at times.

ThankYouStavros · 08/08/2021 15:47

Told everybody I was refusing to let anybody see my child. In reality, he was in NICU, they just wanted to make me look controlling.

AntiFlag · 08/08/2021 15:48

@dontblamemee

The day after I'd given birth my husband invited his friends round to see the baby and asked me to make a cake and some brownies. I asked him to just buy some because I was in a lot of pain and breastfeeding a newborn but he told me it was not acceptable to give guests shop bought cake. So (I can't believe it now) I made cake whilst doubled over in pain.

It was also our older daughters friends birthday party the next day and he refused to take her because he didn't know where the house was. So I had to drive her even though I could barely change gears because it hurt so much.

Please tell me he’s an ex husband?

CeeceeBloomingdale · 08/08/2021 15:51

I called my dad to announce I’d had the baby, still lying on the bed, naked, waiting to be stitched up. He answered and I said “it’s a girl!”. He said “who is this?” 😂🙈

FlumpyLump · 08/08/2021 15:52

I was a size 12-14 and 23 years old when I got pregnant. My community midwife was obsessed with my weight from the start.
I understand that medically speaking, I was overweight, but she kept telling me how morbidly obese I was.
When I had my first heartbeat scan, she kept digging the Doppler really deep into my stomach (so much so it was hurting). She kept telling me that she couldn't find a heart beat because of all the fat.
Her colleague could see I was getting upset and took over and found my son's heart beat within 5 seconds.
The moody midwife was insistent that I would have gestational diabetes because of how fat I was.
She sent me for the GTT test which came back negative (much to her disappointment).
As the baby grew, obviously my stomach got bigger, but because of the midwife, I felt so fat and couldn't enjoy my bump.
I ended up weighing less at the end of my pregnancy than at the beginning because I foolishly didn't eat enough due to the comments about my weight.
Once I'd had my son, she came to do the post natal check and wanted to look at my stitches.
I refused to let her look. I didn't want any more comments about the way I looked.
I feel like she took what was supposed to be a happy experience and completely ruined it for me.

SunscreenCentral · 08/08/2021 15:52

@MistyFrequencies

My sister in law told me not to talk to the baby in my own language because "you're in Ireland now, they don't need to hear that shit". I still hate her.

As an Irish person can I just say I'm sorry. What an absolute c*nt. I hope your baby is now a polyglot!

igelkott2021 · 08/08/2021 15:57

I think I was lucky so had nothing horrible.

The midwife told me I could never be ill again though. She was right in a way - but she neglected to tell me that I would get ill because ds would keep passing things onto me

Redannie118 · 08/08/2021 15:58

First DC. 6 weeks in hospital with pre eclampsia. Emergency C section. DH refused to feed, change or get up with baby. Screamed at me if i came home and house wasnt spotless. Baby had colic and DH would scream at me if he was crying. It was my fault- i was a bad mother. Stayed out the house for 15 hours per day. Would go out all day on days off. Made me walk home from the shops 7 weeks after c section( when i shouldnt have even been out the house but he wouldnt go to the shops) in 6 inches of snow. I had rang him and begged for a lift, but he was watching football. Got screamed at when i got home for asking. Had an affair a few weeks later which was my fault as i only ever cared about the baby. Due to all this i developed severe PTSD. Baby never slept( later found out he had ASD) and I was so exhausted i was hallucinating. Was on the highest dose of valium and self harming every day. Begged my mum for help, support or even just some sympathy. She refused. Said I had to manage myself and then would take my( Older than me) brother out for the day cos he was " Feeling a bit low bless him" I never forgave her.

EmergencyHydrangea · 08/08/2021 16:00

Not so "D"M told me I was lazy for having an emergency C-section after a failed induction.

Did she not understand the "alternatives" to an emergency c section?

ChilliHeeler82 · 08/08/2021 16:01

A week after having my son, my MIL visited. She sat down like a queen and asked us to make her tea. I was struggling severely with breastfeeding after a very traumatic EMCS and she lectured me on it while I was holding my screaming baby. I ended up ordering her out of my house..

ReallyHardToPickAUserzname · 08/08/2021 16:06

My MIL lived in another country ( she was english, just moved abroad ) and emailed my partner ( now ex ) and told him to leave me on my own for a few weeks with both the babies so I'd beg for his help

I didnt know this at the time. DP took great delight in showing me a few months later. He didnt help at all with the baby or toddler and I developed PND.

Karma bit her in her arse for encouraging him to be spiteful. I had to move fleeing DV from her son, she got in contact about 6 months before she died asking to see the children ( 4 & 6 then! ) and I took great delight in saying but I havnt begged for help yet?

HyacynthBucket · 08/08/2021 16:09

Redannie118 Please say you are no longer with this unfit-to-be-a father or husband child-nightmare of a so called man.

Nonmaquillee · 08/08/2021 16:09

@goldierocks

Short walk to visit my parents when DS was 10 days old. I was recovering from an accident I'd had early in pregnancy, plus a third degree tear & sutures from the birth.

On the way home, at the top of a steep hill with an A road at the end of it, (ex) 'D'H gave the pram a big push and let go...the pram started rolling away at speed, with DS in it. I obviously ran after it, then burst into tears when I caught it (DS fast asleep).

Ex then screamed at me for making a scene and that it was my fault for not being able to take a joke.

OMG....just awful!

HyacynthBucket · 08/08/2021 16:10

Same with you too dont'tblamemee He is now firmly an ex?