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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What's the worst thing someone did when you had a new baby?

886 replies

Cuddlyrottweiler · 08/08/2021 10:52

Another thread reminded me of this, it's probably tame compared to some of yours though!

MIL called my DH in from another room and told him to take my newborn, crying baby off me and give him to her. After I'd refused several times, because I knew what he needed and couldn't do it. Luckily for our marriage he saw the look and my face and told her no.

OP posts:
Cheeseandlobster · 08/08/2021 10:54

Dp's friends awful girlfriend told me ds was going to hell because I wasn't getting him christened.

Original poster
Cuddlyrottweiler · 08/08/2021 10:55

You win. 😳

OP posts:
PlaybackToday · 08/08/2021 10:56

I know this isn't in the same vein but some poor soul asked me if I was ok in Asda and told me I was doing a great job. DS was about 3 weeks old and had woken up crying. I burst into tears and she helped me find my mum who I was with. Her kindness really got to me even though I know that's exactly what it was - kindness.

OaxacaChihuahua · 08/08/2021 10:58

I was really lucky I think, people behaved themselves around me!

I did used to get a little frustrated when people didn’t immediately give him back to me when he was crying - I knew it came from a place of love because they were trying to give me a break, but it’s such a strong instinct to comfort your crying newborn that I really struggled to let anyone else do it. Nobody did anything actually awful though - you hear such horror stories from some poor people who’ve had hideously pushy friends and family ignore their boundaries completely.

LizJamIsFab · 08/08/2021 10:58

I ventured out to a baby and Mum group at end of our street and a fellow Mum asked me to breastfeed in the toilet.

ImRhondaAndthesearentreal · 08/08/2021 10:59

A complete stranger kissed my newborn.

I didn't say anything to her, but when retelling the story I was told I was in the wrong for "making it something weird".

I just said I didn't like it, I hadn't made any suggestions about her motive.

Panickingpavlova · 08/08/2021 11:02

Unfortunately a long list of Mil related stuff which for ally ruined her birth and even in her bday I get mixed feelings because it brings back the horror of that time for me and sheer emotional and mental stress Mil and fil put me under.

0nlyMe · 08/08/2021 11:02

The day after my 1st caesarean, my sil announced very loudly that my stomach was still massive. I was sitting in my hospital bed in the ward.

hullaballoo19 · 08/08/2021 11:02

Dd was about a week old and it was the first time I ever breastfed in public and an older man gave me a really horrible look. Fortunately I never (noticed) another bad look or comment ever again but it was crap that it was my first ever experience of breastfeeding in public.

BobVance · 08/08/2021 11:04

A health visitor literally laughed in my face when I told her I was worried about my daughter’s diarrhoea and blistering nappy rash at 3 weeks old. She brushed it off explaining that EBF babies “do poo a lot”. I ignored her and went to the GP. She had CMPA.

Cocolapew · 08/08/2021 11:05

DH ended up wrestling the phone out of MIL hands because she was trying to phone an ambulance when DD1 was a few days old. Because she was crying while I prepared her bottle. She also wanted to report me to social services for cruelty for letting her cry.
Mil also turned up on the doorstep with her Bible to tell me my DDs were going to hell because I refused to Christen then.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 08/08/2021 11:05

I had a MC before DS5 was born.

some cunt mum from playgroup said "Oh I'm sorry you had another boy, I was hoping you'd finally have a girl"
instead of ripping her fucking head off I managed to reply with: "well, I was gonna have a girl but she died so I don't mind another healthy boy"

she never spoke to me again. thank fuck

Saisong · 08/08/2021 11:06

MIL insisted on bringing an ancient auntie round, who appeared with a cold sore ShockAngry. They all played pass-the-baby while I held back tears and was on high alert to grab baby back if there was any hint of kissing! Honestly I wish I'd had the backbone to refuse to hand her over and ask them to leave - but first time Mum, could barely sit down for stitches, still in the tearful stage and leaking breast milk all over - was not in the best presence of mind.

Dragon50 · 08/08/2021 11:06

Excited DH sent my mum a pic of me and baby in CS recovery.

Next day my mum told me how dreadful I looked. DH went nuts at her, made the rest of the visit a bit uncomfortable, though I was pleased at his intervention.

IncludeWomenInThePrequel · 08/08/2021 11:06

I was struggling to BF in the hospital and the BF counsellor told me I'd have to give formula as DS was too hungry and frustrated.

FIL walked in and went 'I heard you're finished with THE BREAST then' Confused

I've no idea why he even felt he had to mention it but I already felt like shit about it and had spent half the day crying.

Pumpkinstace · 08/08/2021 11:07

My baby was 2 months early.

My uncle posted a congratulatory post on my Facebook before I'd even told anyone but insists family. He was with my mum when she found out and posted immediately.

I then had to deal with a influx of texts and phone calls from worried people before I could even process what was happening.

I hadn't even held my baby.

moomoogalicious · 08/08/2021 11:09

A friend Looked at me formula feeding my baby and looked at my friend breast feeding hers and said 'theres nothing better than a breast fed baby'. Still makes me cross 14 years later

cleanasawhistle · 08/08/2021 11:10

Sat holding my baby over my shoulder stroking his back.
MIL turns up for first time since I had him and in a very loud voice says you dont wind a baby like that give him here.
I said NO.

Baby two days old.I'm up and dressed but chucked on old clothes and not brushed my hair etc......my sister turns up uninvited with her friend.They are both dressed up,hair make up,shorts and heels.
They both make comments like its such a lovely day why are you not out in the sun with your shorts on........made me feel like shit,as if I could have fitted into flippin shorts and had time to enjoy the sun.

goldierocks · 08/08/2021 11:11

Short walk to visit my parents when DS was 10 days old. I was recovering from an accident I'd had early in pregnancy, plus a third degree tear & sutures from the birth.

On the way home, at the top of a steep hill with an A road at the end of it, (ex) 'D'H gave the pram a big push and let go...the pram started rolling away at speed, with DS in it. I obviously ran after it, then burst into tears when I caught it (DS fast asleep).

Ex then screamed at me for making a scene and that it was my fault for not being able to take a joke.

Pumpkinstace · 08/08/2021 11:11

Instant not insist

VexedofVirginiaWater · 08/08/2021 11:12

My second DS was born with a raised strawberry nevus on his hairline. When I was out shopping a couple of people (separately) asked me if I had dropped him. I felt really accused (other people were obviously listening in to my reply).

But really, that's the only thing from family and the public really that I can remember (it was a long time ago).

The worst offender really was my now ex DH who didn't seem to understand why he couldn't carry on with his pre-child life of long lie-ins, four-hour shopping trips (for gadgets and stuff for him - not for anything useful), visiting friends etc. He would lie in until late even though he couldn't help with night feeds. I stupidly thought this was what it must be like being a mother.

Once the health visitor came round to check on baby and asked where my DH was. He was still in bed (this would be around 11.30). The look on her face should have told me what I needed to know. Sad

RedMarauder · 08/08/2021 11:13

Midwives telling me off for mix feeding as they didn't read my medical history.

I actually found a few of the midwives treating me through pregnancy had shit attitudes due to refusing to believe I knew and understood my own medical history. On the other hand the doctors and HVs have been fine.

MorrisZapp · 08/08/2021 11:13

Some people said a few things that I didn't love, but I realise I've almost certainly done exactly the same too because we're all just human.

ChampagneKisses · 08/08/2021 11:14

Dh booked an evening out with married couple friends of ours and arranged for my mum who lives 40 miles away to babysit at her house. We arrived for what I thought was a visit and was ambushed with a plan. Baby was three weeks old and we were establishing breastfeeding but formula was supplied and I felt railroaded. We drove back home to go out with these friends and the woman (who was child free at the time) told me I needed to break the bond a bit and not have her so reliant on me. I've secretly never forgiven any of them even though I know they all meant well as tiredness was sending me insane and looking back I had signs of PND.
With subsequent children I've set my rules very early on.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/08/2021 11:15

Right after dd2 was born, dh bought me a lovely emerald and diamond ring - I’d never had an engagement ring.

A friend and neighbour took one look and said, ‘You got that for a girl?’

To be entirely fair, she was from a Mediterranean culture where boys were definitely favoured, but still….