Feeling resentful but I don’t know if I’m being irrational or not…

[whippitwoowoo]

First off, I’m going to go and see this parent later today to find out what’s happening. I think this is better than just waiting for 2 teens to sort this situation out.

My DD17 and her BF bought day tickets to Reading festival ages ago.
The BF parents said they will take their caravan and stay nearby so the girls can stay with them at the end of the day.
Great, I agreed for my DD to buy a ticket knowing she can stay with her mates parents afterwards.
All the other friends in the group have got weekend tickets.

For info we live 100 miles away from Reading.

I’ve noticed that no plans are being firmed up and my DD isn’t saying much.

I asked the BF yesterday and she said “my parents are taking us but my dads got work now so are not staying anymore “

So, no one has told me this before and hasn’t thought to tell me that the 2 teens now have no where to stay or anyone getting them at the end.

So , it’s gonna fall to me to drive 200 mile round trip late at night. But no one thinks to actually communicate anything to me.

If it was me I would contact the other parent to say I can’t do what I originally agreed to.

I’m so pissed off. I don’t want to drive to fecking Reading.
I would never have agreed to my DD going if I had to go myself.

I’m absolutely knackered. I have worked relentlessly throughout the past 18 months and feel burnout.

I’ve lost the ability to work out if I’m unreasonable or not.

I don't quite know what day ticket vs weekend ticket means, but surely they can get a train rather you need to drive?

Are they actually expecting you to collect them though? What’s their (the girls’) suggestion for how to get home or where to stay?

Are they assuming you will drive? Can they get trains or coaches back? (Even if they have to miss the last act).

Can they get a B and B in the area?

Alternatively, if they can’t get back then they can’t go.

We’re they assuming you would pick them up, or had they got something else worked out?

Assuming your DD knew this, I'd be much crosser with her than the other girl's parents. Why on earth didn't she tell you? At 17 she and her friend should be sorting their own lifts out. Not waiting for their parents to communicate with each other.

You say the dad has got work - is that the evening if the event or the next day? If the next day, is he still planning on bring them back?

At the ages they are I would of thought they can arrange public transport home.

@Monestera

I don't quite know what day ticket vs weekend ticket means, but surely they can get a train rather you need to drive?

Weekend would be Friday-Sunday, as opposed to Saturday (or Sunday) only

The parents should have told you if plans change. However they are 17 surely they can arrange camping or something and get the train.

Let them sort it out - they can not go, get a train (if it's late they can stay up all night snogging at the station and get the first train back)

Do NOTHING - let them sort it

Your Dd really should have said its not really up to the parents to communicate to you the arrangements my guess is the girls have been rumbled and were planning to stick around overnight and you caught them out! Have the asked you to pick them up ?

Leave it to your daughter to sort
Can't believe you are thinking of contacting the other parents

Is it too late to get them weekend tickets and a tent?

Weekend would be Friday-Sunday, as opposed to Saturday (or Sunday) only

Yeah, I know that! I meant that I didn't what it would mean for the OP and her dilemma.

Step back and leave the girls to sort it out.

I think a pp is right and your DD was going to say nothing and hope you thought the original arrangements were still in place and try to stay after with friends.
Does you DD know you intend to ring her friends father?
Might change the story somewhat..

She's 17, surely they will just get the last train back? It would be very kind of you to pick them up, especially as the last train will probably mean they have to leave before it totally finishes, but I don't think you have to?

I assume she was intending to crash in one her friends' tents and not tell you but I assume they have security in place checking wristbands for that exact reason.

The girls won’t sort this out. It will get left to the last minute.
It’s not my dd fault. She has asked about the plans a few times and her friend is very vague.

They can’t train it.
Too complicated and convoluted
It would involve going across London late at night.

I’d prefer her to crash in a mates tent tbh.

This isn't your problem. At 17 it's entirely your daughter's responsibility to sort.

user1487194234

Why wouldn’t I communicate with the other parents?

What a strange thing to say.

I’m being responsible as a parent to these girls welfare

Definitely step back. If not now, when? 18? 21? You have to let them sort it.

The parents might be hanging around all day and driving them home that night rather than staying over?

I agree do nothing.

@whippitwoowoo

I’d prefer her to crash in a mates tent tbh.

What actually happens if you've got day wristbands? Would anybody stop you from sleeping over?

At 17 the time has come and gone where parents communicate with each other. If I were the other parent I'd have simply assumed your daughter would tell you.

But then I also think the time is pretty much up where you get to say yes or no to whether she goes at all.

Obviously your own experience may vary but I think 17 is old enough to decide to go - and old enough to make plans regarding how to get there and get home

I think your being abit irrational thinking this is your problem? Nobody has asked you yet, and when they do the answer is no. If your daughter honestly hasn’t got the common sense to ask questions about where she is staying and how she’s getting back at 17 it’ll be a good life experience for her. I was going abroad at 17- my mum didn’t drive me anywhere!