Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to ask if you were in love with the person you first had sex with?

253 replies

MissMojoRising · 02/08/2021 13:13

Something I've been thinking about recently, and had a discussion with friends. Were you in love with the first person you had PIV with?

I was not. Had a BF, I did like him, everyone else was at it, so we did it.

Not looking for any details, just a yes/no vote is OK

YES: I was in love
NO: I was not in love

OP posts:
Rainbow321 · 02/08/2021 14:14

I was extremely young (13) and was bullied into it by a boy in school of the same age. In hindsight , he and his school friend were both sexually abusing / bullying me. I had very low self esteem and never said anything as they were classed as the ' cool ' ones . The piv one is now married to another girl from school

I never attend school reunions / get togethers because of that even though it happened 20+ years ago.
He would punch me as well and I'd end up with huge purple swollen bruises I used to hide from my parents .

LJAKS · 02/08/2021 14:14

Yes

Mamadothehump · 02/08/2021 14:16

No. He was nice enough though!

CounsellorTroi · 02/08/2021 14:16

No.

FogHornInTheAttic · 02/08/2021 14:17

No I was 14 and obsessed.It was an infatuation.

strawberrymilkshakeisdelicious · 02/08/2021 14:17

Yes

SamVimes6 · 02/08/2021 14:18

Was 16. Of course I was “in love”

KingdomScrolls · 02/08/2021 14:18

It's not a straight yes or no question is it? Did I think I was in love yes of course, but I was 16. Was I actually in love no I wasn't it was absolutely mutual teenage infatuation. Do I regret it? No he was a nice boy, bright, funny a little bit emo but I liked that then. Better that than falling pissed out of a nightclub at uni with a random in Freshers' week like happened to a fair few friends

Itsbehindme · 02/08/2021 14:18

Yes, I thought so at the time, 1st month in Uni. And he knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, later I found his skill was acquired by through lots of practice, including three others in my extended friendship group. Didn't discover that for several weeks!!

whoknew23 · 02/08/2021 14:19

Yes,

I married him as well. I didn't have sex until a month before I turned 21.

OrlandointheWilderness · 02/08/2021 14:19

No

Monday26July · 02/08/2021 14:19

Kinda? I was only seventeen so it's questionable whether it was genuine 'true love' but I certainly felt in love even though we only went out for a few months (I got the ick really fast and ended it). We were boyfriend and girlfriend, he was a nice enough guy who treated me well and went at my pace and as far as first times go it was fine, not particularly earth shattering but I felt respected and loved and cared for.

Really don't think it matters either way, I just feel very fortunate that my first time was under those circumstances when I know so many young women and girls are pressured into it or have awful experiences.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 02/08/2021 14:20

Yes. I was 20 and he was my first love. Broke my heart when it ended.

TabithaTiger · 02/08/2021 14:21

Not in love though, but we were very close, had been good friends for a long time before we got it together. I was 17.

TartanDMs · 02/08/2021 14:22

Nope, just lust. I was 17 and he was a charismatic, attractive bouncer, there was always something between us (we didn't meet at a club and we were drawn to each other every time we saw each other) but it was bloody unhealthy. He didn't know I was a virgin and was quite horrified when he realised. I never told anyone about this, my next boyfriend thought I was a virgin and DH only knew about my ex (the next bf after the bouncer).

Cottagepieandpeas · 02/08/2021 14:23

No but I definitely thought I was.

therocinante · 02/08/2021 14:24

For 'full' PIV sex, yes.

For everything else... no, I was just being a teenager Grin

Pegasusmail · 02/08/2021 14:28

No but I was infatuated with him as I knew him from visiting relatives at a holiday place we went to once a year and he would smile at me in the pub and we went to a nightclub nowk and again.

Anyway I was nearly 19 and nearly finished my first year of university and he came back to halls that Easter holiday and we spent the weekend together. The sex was so rubbish that was it for me. I didn't sleep with anyone else for well over another year.

Grapewrath · 02/08/2021 14:29

No
He was more into me and initially seemed a safe bet and a bit of a knight in shining armour. I didn’t really fancy him but I liked feeling wanted and having a boyfriend. His adoration turned to control and coercion so it ended up being a very unhealthy relationship although I don’t have regretsc

FreezerBird · 02/08/2021 14:31

Yes. Still am.

Holothane · 02/08/2021 14:31

No

Bluntness100 · 02/08/2021 14:32

Yes

honeylulu · 02/08/2021 14:32

No but there was a strong attraction and he was a lot of things I wanted in a boyfriend (older, long haired, alternative). It was a long distance relationship though and didn't last long. If we'd lived closer and it hadn't been so hard to meet we might have fallen in love. Or maybe not. I didn't meet anyone else for several months so spent a lot of time mooning over what might have been. If I'd got a new boyfriend quickly I might have forgotten him quicker!

WhateverHappenedToFayWray · 02/08/2021 14:32

I thought I was with him but he definitely wasn't with me 🤷🏼‍♀️

OurChristmasMiracle · 02/08/2021 14:34

Yes- went on to marry (and then divorce) him. I will always love him I’ve just had to accept he isn’t the man I thought he was, and I have forgiven him. I hope he has healed his trauma and found his way now.