AIBU to expect MIL to pay

[Muggymama]

MIL never thought she'd have grandkids due to.my DH being lifelong batchelor but we did and she has 3; DD15, DS12 & DS10.
She never buys them anything or gives them even few pounds when they visit but is very comfortably off and currently having very extensive improvements to her house (which we have to constantly listen to hear her moaning about, mess, poor workmanship, not turning up when should yadda, yadda).
My parents on the other hand, have very little but are so kind and bring their favourite treats and contribute to trips, little luxuries, pocket money etc.
AIBU to be bit miffed with MIL?
She is from a generation when things were easier too, free higher education, good pension at very early age etc.
I know it's her money but can't help feeling she is being selfish and little treats time to time would show she cares, understands them & knows what they like/ need.

We only had one grandparent, and he always gave us sweeties/£1 for a treat when we saw him - maybe twice a month. He was always generous at birthdays and Xmas; although through mum, in giving her money to get something for us, as he thought an older widower might not have bought the right thing.
My mum had grandchildren via my siblings, and she will forever be trying to buy things for my nieces/nephews! My sister keeps saying to her that mum doesn’t need to give her money for things, as she can afford it! However, it’s nice, and kind of her, to want to spoil her grandchildren. Tbf, I also spoil my nieces/nephews, as I couldn’t have kids, and live vicariously through them!

sorry I was being facetious. In today’s standards she was average age to become a grandmother.

I was saying the life long bachelor must have married and become a dad in his thirties at the latest to make his mother a grandmother in her fifties.

The term is usually reserved for men who never marry, never date (women), never father children.

Yet your mil and you had assigned this man the title in his twenties/thirties. Seems odd. But as I have said before this whole thread is odd. Changes with the wind.

@Ideasplease322

sorry I was being facetious. In today’s standards she was average age to become a grandmother.

I was saying the life long bachelor must have married and become a dad in his thirties at the latest to make his mother a grandmother in her fifties.

The term is usually reserved for men who never marry, never date (women), never father children.

Yet your mil and you had assigned this man the title in his twenties/thirties. Seems odd. But as I have said before this whole thread is odd. Changes with the wind.

Thanks so much for taking such time over all this, especially as you are struggling to keep up, but don't worry I won't be offended if you sign off now, I get it you think I'm BU!

Okay Op

Nighty night

And I hope she leaves her money to charity😂

Sorry, only kidding.

Plenty of people uninterested in children/grandchildren. It's fine they have no obligation to them and although it would be nice she doesn't have to pretend to be interested. At the same time I wouldn't be buying/wrapping gifts from her, if she gives cash give them that or let them pick out something and they are old enough to say "thanks, I got x with my birthday money" to her.

The mil isn't uninterested in the grandkids. She sees them every week.

OP, I've read all your posts but NRTWT. it looks as though you've been flamed a bit as money grabbing etc but I don't see that from your posts. You are upset that your MIL isn't interested in finding out her grandchildren's favourite biscuits, drinks and buying them in for their next visit. I don't do this for my grandchildren (though they all know I love them dearly) but will always have some treats in the cupboard but not necessarily their favourites. I'm interested in their hobbies and friendships and we get on well but I don't feel the need to 'treat' them neither do I slip them money though I'm generous with presents and when we go out. I think you need to let go of this one as it sounds as though your children aren't bothered and feel loved by all their grandparents which is the important thing.

@Billandben444

OP, I've read all your posts but NRTWT. it looks as though you've been flamed a bit as money grabbing etc but I don't see that from your posts. You are upset that your MIL isn't interested in finding out her grandchildren's favourite biscuits, drinks and buying them in for their next visit. I don't do this for my grandchildren (though they all know I love them dearly) but will always have some treats in the cupboard but not necessarily their favourites. I'm interested in their hobbies and friendships and we get on well but I don't feel the need to 'treat' them neither do I slip them money though I'm generous with presents and when we go out. I think you need to let go of this one as it sounds as though your children aren't bothered and feel loved by all their grandparents which is the important thing.

Thanks for your post, I think you're right😊. I was a little ruffled after my daughter visited and hadn't been offered even a drink but perhaps MN was not the best place to vent🤣. TBF my title probably set many against me but was unable to change.

Thanks everyone for taking time to post, it was a very interesting introduction to MN and AIBU😊!