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AIBU?

Wanting a wage for playing with his granddaughter

464 replies

Bigdisappointment · 28/07/2021 14:01

This is what my dad ‘Joked’ well, he wasn’t laughing about today.
Parents come to stay with us, he was playing with toddler Dd, she always wants to play with him. He played for a bit, then stood up and said he was going to the bank to get his wage. Confused, I asked ‘Wage for what?’ He said ‘For this’ meaning playing/looking after Dd,
Aibu to feel hurt that he obviously begrudges spending time with her, I'd rather he didn’t if he didn’t want to.
How involved are your parents with your kids? Feel disappointed in mine a lot.

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Aprilx · 28/07/2021 14:03

I think he was joking….

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pineapplecat21 · 28/07/2021 14:03

It was clearly a joke.

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RyanReynoldsHusband · 28/07/2021 14:04

It’s a dad joke…

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pleasedonttextmyman · 28/07/2021 14:05

well, he wasn’t laughing about today.

why do you think that? Everyone else understands it as a joke.

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SmokeyDevil · 28/07/2021 14:05

It is a joke.

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Sisisimone · 28/07/2021 14:06

How can you not think that's a joke?

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TheQueef · 28/07/2021 14:06

You've misunderstood.
He's joking.

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Sisisimone · 28/07/2021 14:07

Not everyone laughs when they say something humorous. It really couldn't be construed as anything other than a joke

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Ninkanink · 28/07/2021 14:08

Of course he’s joking.

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Bigdisappointment · 28/07/2021 14:08

He wasn’t joking, he was pissed off, said she should play with myself or grandma and went off for a walk

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akissbeforebed · 28/07/2021 14:08

a) Maybe he's joking (I think he is)
b) Maybe he doesn't enjoy playing with toddlers (not everyone does)
c) Maybe he'd like to spend some time with you - his daughter

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Aprilx · 28/07/2021 14:09

@Bigdisappointment

He wasn’t joking, he was pissed off, said she should play with myself or grandma and went off for a walk

You are being ridiculous.

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DismantledKing · 28/07/2021 14:09

I’m awaiting a huge drip feed here

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PieceOfString · 28/07/2021 14:09

I think you know him well enough to know if this was just a poor taste joke or a real comment disguised as a joke.
If he actually is resenting doing this, that is a crying shame. My own DC have wither remote or barely interested family on birth sides sadly. For a loooong time I envied others whose family were hands on our enthusiastic. It was a thorn in my side. Now I've just reached acceptance. I'm not sure how I got there, probably just time and gradually being able to let go and focus more on what we do have. I grew up surrounded by lots of family and I wish they had that, but actually they have other things I didn't have so it balances out in the end.
In the meantime, let him come to you, don't bend over backwards to engineer a relationship for them if his attitude is to want to count his 'effort' let him have as much as he actually wants, he can't make you feel obligated or uncomfortable then.

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Bigdisappointment · 28/07/2021 14:10

@Aprilx How so? It wasn’t a joke and he often passes her off to other people, when she so clearly wants to play with him

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GreyhoundG1rl · 28/07/2021 14:10

Of course he was joking, stop acting like a two year old!

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Niceicebaby · 28/07/2021 14:10

Or possibly OP is exactly right and her DF isn't a happy families DGF?

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Bigdisappointment · 28/07/2021 14:11

@PieceOfString Thank you 🙏 yes, I feel the same and as you say, not a jokey comment, a comment with meaning/resentment behind it.

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Branleuse · 28/07/2021 14:11

sounds like there is more to this story. You obviously feel that it wasnt a real joke and it was a barbed comment and that he felt like it was work rather than enjoying his grandchild. You know him more than we do OP.

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GarlicMonkey · 28/07/2021 14:12

That's crap & I completely understand you being pissed off. Might she be making him feel his age? I know I need a rest after a full on toddler hour nowadays (& I'm only early 50s).

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Polly99 · 28/07/2021 14:12

Small children can be quite dull. Perhaps 5 minutes is his fill of toddler play. Doesn't mean he doesn't love her and doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Also doesn't mean he "begrudges" anything. He'd just had enough, and that's ok.

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Xmassprout · 28/07/2021 14:12

He doesn't literally want a wage for playing with her.

Maybe he just doesn't like playing with children? He's not obliged to. Of course it would be nice for him to enjoy it, but there's nothing you can do if he doesn't. I would guide her to play with others if he really doesn't want to play

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Bigdisappointment · 28/07/2021 14:12

@GreyhoundG1rl Ok. It wasn’t a joke, a joke I know and can take.

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NotMaryWhitehouse · 28/07/2021 14:12

I think that's a really weird comment op, I'd be a bit 'huh?' if my dad said that about playing with my son, except he never would! Sorry your dad was a dick 💐

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Xmassprout · 28/07/2021 14:13

Also, are you a stay at home mum? Do you think it may be a dig at you if so?

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