Wanting a wage for playing with his granddaughter

[Bigdisappointment]

This is what my dad ‘Joked’ well, he wasn’t laughing about today.
Parents come to stay with us, he was playing with toddler Dd, she always wants to play with him. He played for a bit, then stood up and said he was going to the bank to get his wage. Confused, I asked ‘Wage for what?’ He said ‘For this’ meaning playing/looking after Dd,
Aibu to feel hurt that he obviously begrudges spending time with her, I'd rather he didn’t if he didn’t want to.
How involved are your parents with your kids? Feel disappointed in mine a lot.

Also, I agree with not tip-toeing around them. It's you and your daughter's home. Just ignore his comments. It was rude.

OP do you like your parents? You seem to have a lot of resentment towards them

Gosh you all sound like hard work

@SupermanWithTheGreyHair

Hotel next time.

How would that change anything?

@Wingedharpy They booked and told me.

Three weeks?! Bloody hell! We’ve just spent three days with our grandchildren and we’re shattered. Both of us had completely forgotten how full on two year olds are. Three weeks is at least two and a half weeks too long, OP. For everyone.

Are senses of humour removed at birth these days? I gave my 10 year old granddaughter her breakfast today and said That's £5.75 Madam, should I NC myself?

Sorry you're having to put up with this OP. My parents are really hard work too, though I must never complain because they do so much for us 🙄 it's a grit teeth and ignore it situation unfortunately. Handhold for you.

Do they have a departure date? - please tell me they do and it's soon.
To be honest, if this is the only blip you've had in 3 weeks, you're bloody amazing!
3 hours is my patience threshold for residential visitors.
Needless to say, we don't get many

I totally understand why you would find that hurtful! Even if he is old and hasn't the energy for a young child (have looked at your posts and can't see his age/health) there would have been a nicer way to say he wanted a break. He should be enthralled with her, his loss if he isn't.

You live near enough to a beach to have a day out there. You take them out to all sorts of places in a way you wouldn't do if it was just you and DD (ie every day). You do their washing and cooking. It sounds to me like your dad (maybe your mum, I don't know) expect this to be a three week holiday for them where they don't have to lift a finger. And even some time interacting with his granddaughter interferes with his right to be waited on hand and foot. Like other PPs I'd also ask if you invited them or if they invited themselves.

Time to put a stop to it. Don't invite them, or if they invite themselves tell them no. You're not a hotel, chef, chambermaid, waitress or coach tour driver. (Personally I'd be asking him what his problem is, but that's just me.)

Aren't these the GP who are now going home for a week or two and then descending on you for another long visit?

Why are you putting up with this? Clearly they are primarily using you as a hotel and personal concierge. Woman up and tell them to stay elsewhere!

Hotel might help if the OP is catering every evening for her parents for three weeks and feeling obliged to enable day trips every day and to retire and quiet a DC so they don't disturb them in the child's own home.

Guests aren't expected to babysit though equally DGPs who presumably don't see DC and DGC from one month to the next might be expected to want to spend some time playing with DGC and to enjoy it.

x posted with OP. They TOLD her they were visiting.

[quote Bigdisappointment]@powershowerforanhour It was all
Of us sat together, he wasn’t really doing much tbf, she likes to chat with him, she always gets excited and goes to hug him and it’s like he just can’t, it hurts my heart[/quote]
Hang on a minute, you've gone from saying he played with her for 45 minutes to "he won't even hug her" which is it?
I suspect you have a rosy vision of besotted grandparents who can't get enough of playing with their grandchild but the reality is different for many, many families. It doesn't mean that they don't love her.... just that toddlers can be hard work and not everybody's cup of tea.
I notice that they've been with you for 3 weeks too. Could it be that you're all just getting a bit stir crazy spending so much time together?
I love my family to bits but a weekend is my limit

One of my children's grandparents was uninterested and dismissive of them. When my child was five he opened the front door to him, said 'oh its you', then promptly slammed the door in his face. I just laughed. They end up with the relationships in their lives they deserve (i.e non existent).

How would that change anything?

You’re joking right?

I sympathize, OP. I live overseas and my parents visit twice a year for about 3-4 weeks at a time. I have three kids who my parents "miss desperately". Yet after about half an hour of being alone with them, they can't wait to "have a break" so they start on the "let's find mummy" game. Once we were at an amusement park and the kids were on an adventure playground. I started to go over to the ice cream kiosk and got a "Where are you going? Who's going to watch the kids?" from my mum. Jesus wept, I'm 25 yards away.

Playing with toddlers can be tedious and time-consuming, even for a loving grandparent.
A loving grandparent doesn't make a comment like that, though.

Sorry, OP, I don't have any helpful advice. I don't know why so many here think they know your dad better than you do.

@SheABitSpicyToday ‘Babysitting’ is playing with your granddaughter? When you’ve come to stay at their own home for 3 weeks, when she squeals when she sees you and wants to have fun?

Little kids can be exhausting for older people.
My in laws found looking after our son tiring- you can’t take eyes off them for a second.
Your dad was clearly joking.
My parents refused to look after our DS as they weren’t childminders!
It’s just they way some people are.

@SheABitSpicyToday I wasn’t expecting anyone to babysit, they’ve never babysat for us once, in 3 years I’ve not had a break, they’ve never once offered. That’s fine, but I don’t expect nasty, hurtful comments

Omg how rude! They just turned up for 3 weeks?! And are now asking you to keep your daughter quiet?! I'm wondering if grandad didn't want to come that long but was forced into it. Ignore the harsh comments. There is more to this than it seemed from your opening post.

There’s a famous quote about fish and house guests starting to smell after three days, OP. Three weeks is far too long - both for you to host them and for them to be around a toddler 24/7.

I love my parents and they were pretty hands on grandparents when mine were little - but no way could we have done three week visits. Two days & nights was the absolute max they could have coped with. And that’s with a DM who was an experienced retired nursery teacher!

The thing is as parents we adore our toddlers and sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge that to other people (even relatives/grandparents etc) find them a bit relentless. Toddlers can be very very tiring and very very full on and very very boring. You’ve mentioned several times that your DD ‘always’ wants to play with grandad - that can get pretty frustrating after the first day or so. Sometimes it’s a bit too easy for us as parents to go gooey eyed at how happy and cute our DC look playing with their favourite adult, and not pick up on cues that the favourite adult has kind of had enough.

I agree that the way your dad phrased it was really unkind and unfortunate - but I wonder if he’s just, after three weeks of being DD’s favourite choice of playmate, a bit ‘over’ entertaining a toddler. You’re understandably hurt by what you perceive to be his rejection of her but honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s just knackered.

Sounds like it’s time for your parents to head back to theirs. And I would aim to keep future visits to a maximum of 3 days only. For your sake and theirs.

@pinkyredrose I love my parents.