Did I deserve this

[Clappingforjoy]

Okay I am aware that I could be partly at fault.
A relation has recently bought a house and she was on Facebook showing off the new keys and generally saying how happy she is and how good her dh is. Her dh my dn is a hard worker good with saving etc I agreed and said yes your lucky he works hard and us good with moneyto which she said I'm not lucky we both contributed to the house.
I just said fair enough I hadn't meant it like that and I would say no more I was probably a bit sharp I see that now. Then I gets a comment off her 15 year old saying pity I haven't dropped in that luck with a laughing face did I do wrong and deserve this.

[IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves]

It did sound bad.

Look at my new place, I'm really happy


Well you only have it because my nephew earns well

[Abhannmor]

15 year old grand niece ( ?) sounds like a real charm * sarcasm. I'd leave it there though tbh.

[m0therofdragons]

You weren’t praising dn, you were bringing his wife down a peg or two and pissing on her happiness. Nasty and unless there’s a massive back story it’s a total bitch comment that doesn’t see you coming across well.

[BoredZelda]

I didn't mean it the way it was taken

I think you did mean it that way. You assumed she was able to buy the home because of your oh-so-amazing nephew.

[BoredZelda]

15 year old grand niece ( ?) sounds like a real charm /sarcasm

She sounds like she was sticking up for her mum. Good on her.

[SeasonFinale]

The 15 year old stood up for his mother, the one you passively aggressively insulted.

[purplecorkheart]

Sounds like your dn's partner was very hurt by your tasteless and sexist remark and her/their son is upset at your remark. I bet you wouldn't have made the same remark to your dn about his partner.

[Ghosttile]

That was so rude of you.

To those saying it’s an age thing, my mother is in her 70s, she’s always worked FT and she would find that comment patronising, sexist and annoying too.

[Dixiechickonhols]

I’d apologise and move on. Your comment does come across as old fashioned - you’ve only got your house because he’s a good provider. Looks lovely or congratulations enjoy your new house are much more appropriate Facebook messages.

[pleasedonttextmyman]

You meant well, and I get exactly what you were trying to say

she took it the other way it could have been meant.

Some women are super touchy, she could just as well laughed and said "oh, and what about MY hard work" or something.

Leave it.

[ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule]

Yep, you were PA so the 15 year old stood up for her mum by being PA in return. That's what I'd have done at 15 too. Next time, try and say what you mean instead of saying something else and then getting upset that people didn't understand how you meant it.

[Cocomarine]

Sounds pretty snide, and I smell backtracking 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Flowers500]

I think the kid did a good job standing up for his mom. You were unbelievably rude

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

@BoredZelda

15 year old grand niece ( ?) sounds like a real charm /sarcasm

She sounds like she was sticking up for her mum. Good on her.

I said worse when someone took a dig at my parents. Or any close family member tbh. Still having sometimes problems not to go all teenager on people 😁

[funinthesun19]

Her 15 year old is a little shit stirrer. And hasn’t done his/her mum any favours by saying their mum has been lucky Basically just contradicted everything their mum has said. How embarrassing thinking he/she is being clever.

You meant well with your original comment. I can understand why she took it the wrong way though.

[Thebookswereherfriends]

Stuff that is written is very easy to miscontrue. You should have just said congratulations and not elaborated. You were in the wrong for that, but no, you didn't deserve the 15 yr old stirring the pot.

[Bbtotum]

I’d of thought it’s an insult and rude of you. I’d apologise if I was you or the relationship will be strained.

My PIL make comments like this. They know nothing of our finances (mostly mine). And they will never know.

They keep on telling me how well he has done (and hinting that I should stop spending ‘his’ money) and how lucky I am.

They have no idea.

It taints my opinion of them.

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

I cannot imagine how anyone would take this ok even here🙈

pic of housekey
"New home, great day, and amazing DH. Life can be good"

"Congrats! And yeah he is a keeper!" "Ta! Yeah. Love him to bits"
"Omg congrats! Yeah he is great xx" "ta! My man lol"
"Wow! Amazing!" "Ta!"
"You are very lucky he is hardworking and good with saving"

This is how I imagine it went

[MrsPsmalls]

Nope youre fine op and she is incredibly needy. SHE started it. SHE said it was because of her great partner (your nephew). You joined in and said yes he is great isn't he and she turned on you! She sounds like a proper silly twerp and her 15 year old hasn't fallen far from the tree!

[Yaya26]

I kind of can see where you coming from as she was first to say how good her dh was.

If you ignore that your reply did look like a bit of a dig. Is there history? Are family relations usually good?

[pleasedonttextmyman]

Her 15 year old is a little shit stirrer. And hasn’t done his/her mum any favours by saying their mum has been lucky grin Basically just contradicted everything their mum has said. How embarrassing thinking he/she is being clever

exactly!

Id' be mortified if it was my kid.

[pleasedonttextmyman]

You completely undermined your nephew’s wife and ignored her hard work and contribution.

bit extreme when the OP was just agreeing with her!

and generally saying how happy she is and how good her dh is.