Did I deserve this

[Clappingforjoy]

Okay I am aware that I could be partly at fault.
A relation has recently bought a house and she was on Facebook showing off the new keys and generally saying how happy she is and how good her dh is. Her dh my dn is a hard worker good with saving etc I agreed and said yes your lucky he works hard and us good with moneyto which she said I'm not lucky we both contributed to the house.
I just said fair enough I hadn't meant it like that and I would say no more I was probably a bit sharp I see that now. Then I gets a comment off her 15 year old saying pity I haven't dropped in that luck with a laughing face did I do wrong and deserve this.

[ThinWomansBrain]

I was praising my nephew basically and in doing that, completely negating his partners contribution and disrespecting their relationship.

Probably best to come off Facebook for a while - you still don't seem to appreciate how rude your comment was even after pretty much every comment on here seems to support that view.
Let the dust settle and apologise/send a housewarming gift.
Preferably not via facebook.

[Pingued]

@Clappingforjoy

My nephew did make his 15 year old delete her comment to me and told her it wasn't acceptable.

All good then. No need to ask, your nephew doesn't think it was acceptable.

[woodfort]

It is a bit weird particularly if you wrote it under the photo and lots of people can read it.
I always find it odd when people have a strange, private conversation on Facebook that a load of random people can read. “Congratulations!” = fine. “congratulations! Yes my nephew has always been good with his money, you are very lucky” - about 100 random acquaintances or ex-colleagues are reading that thinking

[2LostSoulsSwimmingInAFishBowl]

@Clappingforjoy

I was just following on from previous messages really where she was agreeing with people that yes she is lucky he is a keeper I didn't mean it the way it was taken

Have you ever made comments like this before to her or people that might pass them on to her? Either way I can understand why she was defensive. The teenager was cheeky but you know if you lead by example and aren’t rude yourself you can take the moral high ground. Otherwise, not so much.

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

*I agree ... you were agreeing with what SHE herself posted ..

I doubt it. Based on eeactions and descriptions I assume the woman was juat praising her dh in general. Big difference to say "yeah, he is awesome. A keeper" and "you are ao lucky he is great with money and works hard".
Firmer? Fine. The latter? It does make it on the post about house buying sound like only he paid...

[Clappingforjoy]

Not my finest moment I agree and I have stepped back now from Facebook.

[Eviethyme]

It was one sided you even say you were just praising your dn... But why? It was her post and she did half the work too no matter what. I get you didn't mean too but you did, should have said you are both very lucky, good job on working hard or something to that extent not oh your lucky that MY dn has worked hard so you could get that house which is how you sound

[QueenBee52]

@SchrodingersImmigrant

*I agree ... you were agreeing with what SHE herself posted ..

I doubt it. Based on eeactions and descriptions I assume the woman was juat praising her dh in general. Big difference to say "yeah, he is awesome. A keeper" and "you are ao lucky he is great with money and works hard".
Firmer? Fine. The latter? It does make it on the post about house buying sound like only he paid...

I didn't read it that way at all 🌸

[Clappingforjoy]

Not sure what my age has got to so with it

[EishetChayil]

Petty and ridiculous. Stop communicating via Facebook. It's a mugs' game.

[PamTheSpam]

Apologise to her
You were extremely rude and very dismissive of her contribution
Her son was defending her in his own way
Your nephew has excellent manners, learn from him

[Clappingforjoy]

Eishet tell me about it

[daphnedoo12]

To me it sounded like you basically said she's lucky she married well as her DH earns good money and can save... implying that she had no part in buying the house.

I don't understand the 15 year olds exact comment, but he probably felt the need to defend his mum.

YABU to have commented that on her Facebook, even if you didn't mean to cause offence it was unnecessary to comment.

[GreyhoundG1rl]

@Clappingforjoy

I was praising my nephew basically and saying he is good with money and hardworking but his dp thinks that people are forgetting that she has contributed as well to the new house. So I explained it wasn't meant as just praising my nephew so their 15 year old says to me on Facebook its a pity I haven't been so unlucky

But it was just praising your nephew and discounting her contribution!
Why would you do that in the first place, let alone double down on it

[muddyford]

Your nephew is the only person to come out of this with any dignity.

[housemdwaswrong]

Well, you've apologised, fb isn't the best for managing tone and nuance, easily open to misinterpretarion. Personally, if I had taken offence at that I'd have rolled my eyes and ignored it, but people seem really quick to take offence and fight back, and fb is excellent for this.

Unintentionally rude perhaps, (though I wouldn’t have cared tbh), but you've apologised. You can't change it, forget about it.

[Howshouldibehave]

but his dp thinks that people are forgetting that she has contributed as well to the new house

Even in your updates, you are minimising her role in the house by saying she has ‘contributed’ to it! You clearly think he has put much more money into it than her. Why not just say-fantastic news, huge congratulations both of you!

[Clappingforjoy]

My sister nephews dm said she was a little curt towards me because first she was agreeing with me in previous posts but said that evening the she had had a few drinks.

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

Personally, if I had taken offence at that I'd have rolled my eyes and ignored it, but people seem really quick to take offence and fight back, and fb is excellent for this.

I think people should be calling out when someone puts them down. Which this was.
I would absolutely call out someone who looks lile they were making it like my DH got the house and I was lucky. Mainly because it was the other way around, but still.

[RosesAndHellebores]

Facebook. Like people's posts and no more. Next time send a card to all of them.

[Clappingforjoy]

I was took back because the dp is normally so nice and accepting of any type of praise.

[Qwerty789]

@Clappingforjoy

I was praising my nephew basically and saying he is good with money and hardworking but his dp thinks that people are forgetting that she has contributed as well to the new house. So I explained it wasn't meant as just praising my nephew so their 15 year old says to me on Facebook its a pity I haven't been so unlucky

You were praising him on his new house purchase and ignored that she was an equal part of it? Yeah, you deserved it

[PamTheSpam]

@Clappingforjoy

My sister nephews dm said she was a little curt towards me because first she was agreeing with me in previous posts but said that evening the she had had a few drinks.

Oh for God's sake, get off FB, you all sound vile

[Clappingforjoy]

Good advice roses

[Howshouldibehave]

My sister nephews dm said

?!

Your sister’s, nephew’s mum said…