To think my house guest is rather rude?

[dizzyrabbit]

We went for a pub lunch yesterday which I ended up paying for. The bill came and he didn’t even bother to look at it. I paid it with my card expecting him to give me some cash towards it but nothing. Then we ordered a takeaway for dinner which we also ended up paying for. He didn’t even offer to contribute. He’s came a long way to visit but I can’t help but feel like it’s taking the mick. I want to say something but don’t know what. I’m too nice for my own good. Vent over.

OP, you ca’t Wait for people to volunteer and then get led when they don’t. You need to tell them to contribute if you want them to.

I do feel for you OP but nobody made you pay for lunch and the takeaway on your own.

Just ask him for the cash or ask him to treat you all to the cinema and snacks.

I would expect the bill to be split at the time of it arriving, not afterwards. So he probably thinks that you were happy to pay and no more of it. Of course if that happened it would be reasonable of him to pay for the takeaway in return

Let him pay for cinema costs today if he wants to go. Tell him to book tickets online in advance coz of covid.

I had a first time business related dinner with someone who asked for my my help, I stupidly said I’d pay at the end instead of splitting it - not sure why!
£70 later and didn’t even get a text later to say thank you for the free advice and free dinner! Could have spent that on a posh dinner for me a day hubby 😫

I’m the same as you about paying for things, Dizzy. But I’d rather pay too much than look like a miser or a CF!

I have inlaws, not on low incomes, who would practically dive under the table rather than pay their share. They think they’re clever, and have no idea how others laugh behind their backs..

If he wants to go to the cinema wave him off and have a quiet night in or whatever you want to do.

Who invited whom? And why on earth are you paying for everything for him? I go on holiday I still pay for my meals and activities.

Say pay for yourself you cheapskate I’ve been paying for everything since you got here.

Grow a backbone and discuss how much he owes you before you order.

He’s your guest so he should have paid . He’s a CF !!! See if he pays for the cinema , if he does he will pay for the tickets and not sweets etc . He’s told you who he is previously so don’t invite him again ! Or if you go to his his do exactly the same !

Yes of course he was rude! Next time, be assertive, a simple, "Where's your contribution?" will suffice.

Why suggested to get the takeaway and go out for a meal? He absolutely must pay for the cinema. He’s suggesting it.

If I invite guests I would cook but if we went out then I would pay. They are guests.

@maddy68

Perhaps he doesn't have the money. He was expecting to stay with you for a couple of days not go out perhaps.

Just cook a spag bol tonight

Agree. It shouldn’t cost people to be a guest

Do you ever go to his?

If you do, does he pay for everything?

I’d do a pasta and pesto tonight and only cinema if he boks

Did the OP ask him to come and stay or did he invite himself, though?

If I had guests I wouldn’t expect them to foot the bill for food, I’d be accommodating especially if they had to travel a fair way, if you don’t want to foot the bill for food out and takeaway just do food in the house?

You need to say something at the time . Make it clear that you are not paying for the cinema today. Never invite him to say again .

No this wouldn't sit right with me at all. If you were kind enough to let him stay then he should not expect you to have to foot the bill for his expenses. Home cooked meals yes anything else no.
I wonder if you stayed with him would he reciprocate your generosity?

I have a friend like this. I started telling him it was his turn to pay. He was fine with that and it's never been an issue since.

Some people just need a nudge. I think it could be the ones who got used to their mum doing and paying everything for them? Not really sure what it is tbh.

If you directly tell him and he doesn't do it then he's definitely just being a twat.

Tell him you can't afford to go to the cinema as you spent too much yesterday.

I bet the cheeky fucker will go on his own rather than pay for your ticket.

Of course it wouldn't be just be the tickets you'd pay for. It would be the absurdly expensive snacks too.

I had a friend to stay for four days and she insisted on paying for nearly everything, to the point where I was embarrassed. I'd certainly expect to be taken out for a meal at least once.

@rainbowstardrops

Hmmm I'm a bit on the fence here. I'd say as the host, you provide meals etc but then again, I wouldn't have gone for a pub lunch AND a takeaway. I'd have probably cooked something at home. He should have at least offered to pay in the pub even if you declined his offer. I definitely wouldn't be paying for cinema tickets though! Why can't he go and see a film when he goes home? Also, do you get invited to his and if so, what's the set up then?

Yup i agree with this. I do think it's cheeky of him not to offer though but I'd be providing at least some food at home if i was hosting. You could just say you book the cinema tickets and that will save us worrying about sorting the pub bill.

A friend that is close enough to come and stay but you can't actually speak to them. Nah, I'm not buying it (pun intended). Something more is going on here.

@maddy68

Perhaps he doesn't have the money. He was expecting to stay with you for a couple of days not go out perhaps.

Just cook a spag bol tonight

Well as he's said he wants to go to the cinema today he's clearly expecting to go out. And if he wants the cinema he should have the means to pay, not announce it and expect the OP to pick up the tab.

@WallaceinAnderland

A friend that is close enough to come and stay but you can't actually speak to them. Nah, I'm not buying it (pun intended). Something more is going on here.

Like what?