To think my house guest is rather rude?

[dizzyrabbit]

We went for a pub lunch yesterday which I ended up paying for. The bill came and he didn’t even bother to look at it. I paid it with my card expecting him to give me some cash towards it but nothing. Then we ordered a takeaway for dinner which we also ended up paying for. He didn’t even offer to contribute. He’s came a long way to visit but I can’t help but feel like it’s taking the mick. I want to say something but don’t know what. I’m too nice for my own good. Vent over.

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

No @woodhill I would agree with that. It would really need to be negotiated before going out or given as an option but with the clear proviso that it's 'going Dutch' or otherwise (not sure if I can say that these days???).

[woodhill]

It did sound like the guest in question was keen to come,

I would probably take the host out to dinner as a thank you and bring gifts like flowers, chocolates and wine.

[HeronLanyon]

But an invite is not an order to attend ! If friend invites me and I say yes then I fully expect a mix of them cooking and us eating out locally with me paying to say thank you for the break ! Sometimes friends refuse and we split the bill. Really not fussed but will always offer to treat friends to something meaningful as a thank you.
As a host again I’m not too fussed what happens but generally they offer and we split or they pay for something. Kind of depends on financial situation of friends.

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Kind of depends on financial situation of friends. I think this is key! But sometimes the wealthiest of people are the most stingy (how do you think they hold onto their money?).

[puffyisgood]

In an 'average' house guest situation, I'd definitely expect the costs of meals out to be shared equally between guests.

I'd expect deviation from this expectaion where one or more of the following conditions were satisified:

(a) an obvious, significant, difference in the financial means of the guest[s] and host[s];
(b) the stay having already involved a lot of effort on the host's part [e.g. because of length of stay, quantity and quality of homecooking, offering lifts around, number of guests, laundry, etc];
(c) the restaurant in question being very much the choice of one side of the relationship, which the chooser is kind of inviting the other side to try out;
(d) etc.

[CharityDingle]

@user47000000000

DHs bro does this. I hate it, turns up for Xmas every year with not even a bottle of wine and eats and drinks for 5 solid days. I know it’s on us as he’s coming to us but I think it’s a cheek to bring literally nothing and quaff through nice wine every night

Hide the wine. Or get something not particularly nice for him, and keep the good stuff for yourselves.

[HideousKinky]

If I am a guest staying in someone's home I always try to engineer an opportunity to take them out for lunch/dinner at some point, as a way of saying thank you. This is in addition of course to bringing flowers/chocolates/whatever on arrival and sending a card to thank them afterwards.

A host has obligations, but a guest does too.

[ozymandiusking]

As he is a guest, and normally I assume you would cook, It's up to you to pay for meals out.

[woodhill]

@ozymandiusking

As he is a guest, and normally I assume you would cook, It's up to you to pay for meals out.

No way