DDs ‘secret’ boyfriend

[befall0]

My DD is 14, almost 15. My DH is very against her having a boyfriend. I did suspect she had a boyfriend though. A few weeks ago, she came back from school and had a boys name written on her hand, I didn't say anything but my DH noticed and asked her who x was, DD said she didn't know and that her friend dared her to have a random boys name written on her hand. Yesterday, she told me she was going out with ‘chloe’ and her sister was picking DD up. I did see her get picked up but I noticed a boy was also in the car, about DDs age. I didn't think anything of it.

When DD got back, I could smell a boys aftershave on her so I spoke to her and she admitted she does have a boyfriend and it was the boy in the car.

I have no idea why DH is so against her having a boyfriend. Any advice will appreciated

[Doingtheboxerbeat]

I can see my DB being like this when the time comes and for him it will all be projection because he was a womanising asshat.

[Inastatus]

@timeisnotaline

I'm fine with her having a boyfriend and I never agreed with DH and I've told him that but he said it's my choice not to agree with him but she can't have a boyfriend hmm
Umm did you say: it’s your choice not to agree with me but she can have a boyfriend. So glad we had this chat where you demonstrated you don’t care what I think so I guess now I can only ignore you in return. Imagine how different this would be if you could behave -and treat me- like an adult in a mutual relationship. Anyway off to tell dd she can have a boyfriend but we won’t tell you about them.

@timeisnotaline - well put! OP, you should definitely have this conversation with your DH.

[sfeirical]

Your DH is really weird.

[Notimeforaname]

Yea he's really weird,toxic..controlling. how fucking weird is that to say his daughter cant be around other males...friends or boyfriends. He had to be unhinged.

[Pissinthepottyplease]

@befall0

Yes. I have spoken to DD about safe sex and consent etc. I think DH can be a bit controlling as he doesn't let DD be friends with boys either (she is though!). I have no idea why he's like this, and I dread DD2 being a teenager as he will probably be the same.

Your DH is telling your teenagers that their sexuality is wrong and is pushing them away. I’ve just read a thread in elderly parents written by a now adult who was in a similar position to your daughter. It’s worth reading OP.

[blobblob]

How old is the boyfriend?