To have said no to this boy taking DD to the park?

[vors]

About a month ago, DD (almost 3) made friends with a girl at the park, she's about the same age, she was at the Park with her uncle (about 15/16). Since then, whenever DD sees the boy she says hello to him or waves. Yesterday, I was with DD and we saw the boy and the little girl, DD said hello to both of them and then the boy told me he was taking her to the park and asked if DD wanted to go with them, I said no but cue a massive tantrum from DD.

I told my DH and he said I should've let her go as i would know where she was and that I'm being overprotective by saying no, but i don't even know the boy, I only know his name and his age!

Aibu?

Deff not - you'd had been putting a huge responsibility on him. Looking after two small kids on your own is a big responsibility for someone that age.

Overprotective of a 3 year old!!!! ffs.

@Whimsy14

I do find it weird that several posters have said it's "offensive" to assume a stranger had the potential to be a predator, though. It's thinking like that ("Don't be so rude! Of course this person couldn't be a paedo!!") that leaves us vulnerable. It's this kind of attitude that contributes to a society of general mistrust, suspicion and witch hunting. Yes, there are predators around, but there are far more kindly, warm hearted people who have no intention of harming children. ( But I still wouldn't have let a young child go off with a stranger. It would be entirely different if the OP knew the boy and his family).

Until there are no predators and there is no sexual abuse of children, I’m more than happy to add to “a society of general mistrust, suspicion and witch hunting.”

I wish my mum had had “this attitude”.

I definitely think a sensible 15 year old is capable of taking 2 x 3 year olds to the park, but only if you know them and their family VERY well.

YADNBU.

Your instincts are totally natural and correct.

You don’t know anything. You’ve no idea what this boy’s intentions were

No, I don’t, neither do you and I wouldn’t have any intention of finding out either! I can’t imagine anyone in their right mind allowing this just to see what happened, which is what you’re intimating.

@Rubyupbeat

I definitely think a sensible 15 year old is capable of taking 2 x 3 year olds to the park, but only if you know them and their family VERY well.

Exactly.

YANBU at all. You don’t know the teenager at all, there’s no way I’d trust a random 15 year old with my 3 year old at all.

No. Assuming he's just a nice boy and no predatory intentions, all 3 year olds have their quirks (tantrums, running into the road without looking, hiding places etc.). Unfair to expect a 15 year old, who may be perfectly capable of looking after their own younger sibling, to also properly supervise another young child as well.

I'd be much more worried about my child falling off the high climbing-frame or getting run over due to inadequate supervision than any potential for abuse.

Would I let my toddler go off with a random teenager she's met in the park a few times? ERRRR NO. I do think the kid was probably just being nice and maybe underestimated how tricky/unrealistic it would be to look after a little kid he doesn't know. I'd probably have taken my daughter to the park with the other two though, if I had the time.

No fucking way.

I’d be thinking about Jamie Bulger tbh

No, I wouldn't let my child go off with a boy or girl, man or woman of any age who is essentially a stranger, but I also would assume the offer was most likely given with good intentions. I would happily say they are just too young to go off with someone they don't know well and if I wasn't busy I would possibly have gone with them for a bit so they could play together.

Your dh needs to think through his thought process and if he still thinks this is ok you have a problem and you need to work out how you safeguard your dd without resenting him.

Ask him this - your dd goes with the boy and the boy and 2 kids go missing (nothing sinister, boy just being a teen and doesn't tell him they are popping to shops for an icelolly and misjudges how long they'll be away). You have to call the police as your 3 year old is missing. Would your dh be happy telling the police officer - he doesn't know the boy, doesn't know his name, doesn't know where he lives, doesn't know his parents, has met him only 2-3 times before but happily let him take his 3 year old out?

@YanTanTethera123

You don’t know anything. You’ve no idea what this boy’s intentions were

No, I don’t, neither do you and I wouldn’t have any intention of finding out either! I can’t imagine anyone in their right mind allowing this just to see what happened, which is what you’re intimating.

No I wasn’t. No idea how you’ve jumped to that conclusion.

It’s probably just a kind offer from a thoughtful boy but I wouldn’t risk it.

Have not RTFT, but in that situation I would have assumed the invitation included me as well, are you sure that was not the case?

would know where she was

No, you'd know where he said they were going to.

You don't have to think the world's full of predators to recognise that you don't just send a small child off with a stranger.

I agree with the posters that wouldn’t let them go. A stranger is a stranger regardless and I wouldn’t send my child off with one.

YANBU

YANBU

Crikey no way. Total safeguarding risk

I think it was really nice of him to offer but as you don't know him, I completely agree that it would be a no from me!

If op is in the market for babysitting there are better ways of going about it that latching onto random teenagers at the park

I did say after getting to know him. No odder than some other ways of finding a babysitters I have heard of.

Sweet of him to offer but obviously the answer is no (and the fact he asked to randomly take someone's three year old off to the park without her mum shows that he isn't mature enough to err randomly take someone's three year old off to the park without her mum).

No fucking way.

No, I wouldn't let her go either as you don't know him.

Next time you could invite him to bring her over to play with your DD at your house so you can get to know him better. Also you and your DH can meet his parents.

I have a DS and DGS and they both babysat children as teens for extra money.

So just use caution and get to know him and his parents.