To have said no to this boy taking DD to the park?

[vors]

About a month ago, DD (almost 3) made friends with a girl at the park, she's about the same age, she was at the Park with her uncle (about 15/16). Since then, whenever DD sees the boy she says hello to him or waves. Yesterday, I was with DD and we saw the boy and the little girl, DD said hello to both of them and then the boy told me he was taking her to the park and asked if DD wanted to go with them, I said no but cue a massive tantrum from DD.

I told my DH and he said I should've let her go as i would know where she was and that I'm being overprotective by saying no, but i don't even know the boy, I only know his name and his age!

Aibu?

Absolutely no way would I let my 2 year old go anywhere with a stranger of any age. When she’s 10 she won’t be going anywhere with strangers either.

Not a chance. If you knew him it would be different although I might of still said no. If it was a 40 year old man asking would your dh still say yes?

If course you can’t leave her with a teenager you don’t know! He probably meant for you to come with her anyway?

Even if his intentions were kind and generous, toddlers can quickly get out of hand/run off/hide/need the loo/tantrum. A teenager may be unable to cope with 2 particularly as he’s an uncle not a parent.

No I wouldn't let my 9 year old go with a 15 year old I did know because it's too much responsibility for them.

I’d be very concerned leaving my child with my husband if he thought this situation was in any way appropriate.

You are in no way overprotective. More just a reasonable and responsible parent!

That is classic abuser behaviour, befriend someone with a young child via their own relation, gain trust and then move in for their sick pleasure.

It would also have been the behaviour of my nephew when he was 15 and came to visit my daughter. Jumping straight to abuser is pretty offensive.

I wouldn’t have let my 3 year old go with any teenager I didn’t know because I’d worry whether they were responsible enough. I wouldn’t automatically assume boy = abuser.

Stick with your gut. I had a friend call me precious when I wouldn't let me 2yo go for a walk with her 7yo across a park with deep water ponds. Fuck that.

Wow definitely no way would I allow this!! Honestly I’d be worried about your partners judgment aswell if he could think this is in anyway acceptable.

No way, you hardly know him and he’s not an adult.

I’m very laid back as a parent but wouldn’t leave a 3 year old with anyone other than family or close friends.

That is classic abuser behaviour, befriend someone with a young child via their own relation, gain trust and then move in for their sick pleasure.

Bit of a leap there.

Does this apply to my DC’s school-friend’s parents (I don’t know them at all) asking them over?
Are they using their own DC to lure mine into their trap?
No of course not.

@Googlewasmyidea1

Nope, and not because he's a 15 year old boy it's because he's a stranger and I wouldn't send my kid off with a stranger under any circumstances

exactly!

I would put him on my list of possible babysitters and get to know him first, he sounds very nice, but it's just a no for now.

Not a chance would i let my 4yr old go anywhere with a teenager i didn't know, to be fair i don't think she'd go anyway but still

Another no.

I wouldn't have let them go but I might be incredibly overprotective due to my past?

TW....

I was raped at 7 by an 11 Yr old boy, a close family friends boy, after innocently being sent upstairs to play by our mums, and having seen the way a lot of tween boys behave at school, in playgrounds etc. No fucking way.

I am the mother of a boy myself BTW.

I think jumping to abuser is an unreasonable leap! But would not have let her go as he is a stranger and also as 2 x 3yrs olds might be quite a lot to handle

I think jumping to abuser is an unreasonable leap!

a tad.. but it's MN, there's always one

No I wouldn’t allow this - I would be fine with it if it was a boy I knew well, but not a boy I had only met at the park. Not to say he’s not a nice boy, he’s probably lovely and was trying to do a nice thing but you don’t know him.

I was shocked at DH response!

I didn't feel comfortable as I don't know anything about him.

Absolutely not, he may be a lovely lad, but you dont know him and she is 3 !!

And I wouldn’t have an issue with him being a teen boy really - DH nephew would babysit for us frequently at that age. I wouldn’t send my child away with a teen girl, adult man or woman or anyone I didn’t know well.

Nope. No way.

It's so nice to think that this shit never happened in the past, that kids all played together/looked out for each other..... But the reality is a lot of dodgy/downright awful behaviour can and does happen between children in these situations.

And you never know when it's going to sadly.

The nice kid who just "loves" looking after the younger ones (like my mums friends boy) isn't always what they seem.

This is really sad for the kids who are genuinely lovely, but how can you tell?

Your DH needs his head examined, is he out of his tiny mind???? This boy is a total stranger and he would be happy to deliver your precious DD in to his hands without a second thought??? I wouldn't even let my 12 year old DD do that!!! He might be the nicest boy in the world, but he also might be the opposite - you don't know which, he is a stranger, not to mention as others have said that two toddlers are a handful. It would be negligent parenting to allow this frankly. Are you really and truly doubting your decision because of what your idiot DH has said?? Really? He has very poor judgement indeed.

What the fuck?! No! Of course you're not being unreasonable!

I’d be very concerned at your husbands ability to keep your child safe being as he thinks this would have been ok.