To have said no to this boy taking DD to the park?

[vors]

About a month ago, DD (almost 3) made friends with a girl at the park, she's about the same age, she was at the Park with her uncle (about 15/16). Since then, whenever DD sees the boy she says hello to him or waves. Yesterday, I was with DD and we saw the boy and the little girl, DD said hello to both of them and then the boy told me he was taking her to the park and asked if DD wanted to go with them, I said no but cue a massive tantrum from DD.

I told my DH and he said I should've let her go as i would know where she was and that I'm being overprotective by saying no, but i don't even know the boy, I only know his name and his age!

Aibu?

Bloody hell! I’m as relaxed as they come when it comes to parenting but to hand one of them over at that age to a complete stranger, absolutely not!

What on earth is your Dh thinking?

YANBU.

You know nothing about this boy and how responsible he is. No way would I let a stranger of any age take my child!

Jesus I'm very chilled and usually respond to these sort of threads with the need unclench .... but there's no way I would let me 3 year old go off with a complete stranger!!

A really kind offer and I would have thanked him but said no . Two three year olds could potentially be a handful for a fifteen year old,male or female.

Absolutely the correct response from you. There is no way I'd have let my DC go.

Lets not go straight to abuser but consider that a boy you dont know may not be anywhere capable of taking care of 2 3 year olds, my dgs has a lot of much older cousins who play with him a great deal and often babysit, one at 12 was a responsible thoughtful kid, one who is now 17 I would not let look after a hamster, not because he is cruel, unkind or abusive but because he is as daft as brush and is a liability to himself, let alone a small child.

@tony68

Wouldn't be letting her go anywhere with DH either if he thinks that's ok and you are being overprotective. Fuck that.

This

Unless I knew them well then I wouldn't. What has shocked me since having kids is the amount of young paedophiles (age 15-25) discovered in my area, rather than the older creepy man we all envision. You just never know.

I won’t even let MY OWN 16 year old take his younger sister to the park, so YANBU!

It's a NO from me too.

The likelihood is he's just a lovely teen boy who cares about/fir his niece and thought your DD would enjoy going with them. Fir all we know he might be great at wrangling several 3 year olds but he might not too...

It's not even as if you know the other 3 yo & their family.

Imagine say you the police 'my DD is missing' 'she went to the park with a 3 yo & her uncle'.... no I don't know their names, where they live, or have shit but I let her go'

More importantly, imagine would could happen to your DD.

Talk to your dipshit husband, remind him it's no longer 1975.

Could you not have gone with them?

YANBU, your dh is nuts! I think you need to have a series talk with him about safeguarding before he lets a stranger take your dd while she's in his care. As pp have said, imagine trying to explain this to the police if anything did happen! You don't know the boy's surname, address, anything beyond having met him in the park before.

Chances are he's just a harmless teen who wouldn't have thought through how dodgy his offer could sound!

I do find it weird that several posters have said it's "offensive" to assume a stranger had the potential to be a predator, though. It's thinking like that ("Don't be so rude! Of course this person couldn't be a paedo!!") that leaves us vulnerable.

@waterrat

I think it's natural he asked but even though I'm relaxed I'd probably say no as she is so young.

If you wanted to be open minded you could get to know the boy and say if you knew him a bit better then yes in future. Surely it's nice to get to know local families

Natural? Most 15 yo boys would rather be with their mates, I would be concerned about one volunteering to babysit a toddler.

Your DH sounds like he has as much common sense as mine 😳🤬
I sincerely hope he’s never in sole charge of your dc?
It reminded me of James Bulger (and in know it’s nothing like that hideous case)

Hell would freeze over before I let my toddler go off with a random teenager. Your husband really needs to reassess his judgment.

No from me. I wouldn't let me child go with any stranger let alone a 15 year old boy. You don't know anything about him. He is probably a lovely person but on the other hand he might not be. Or he might really struggle handling two toddlers.

I don't think a lot of teenagers could effectively handle a 3 year old that they don't know.

YANBU, what has your DH been sniffing?

I'd be very worried about him having DD alone in the future. Doesn't sound like he can make good decisions about her care...

@YanTanTethera123

Your DH sounds like he has as much common sense as mine 😳🤬 I sincerely hope he’s never in sole charge of your dc? It reminded me of James Bulger (and in know it’s nothing like that hideous case)

You don’t know anything. You’ve no idea what this boy’s intentions were.

Your husband sounds like a real idiot.

Spell it out to him but I would genuinely be concerned about his judgement.

No way, but that's because I wouldn't let mine go off with someone I don't know very well.
Not a chance

WTF! I'm a very relaxed parent (spend much of my time feeling like an alien on these threads) and would not even entertain the thought of someone I didn't know taking my toddler anywhere. Let alone a teenage boy. No way. The fact your DH thinks it was reasonable is actually concerning.

@vors

About a month ago, DD (almost 3) made friends with a girl at the park, she's about the same age, she was at the Park with her uncle (about 15/16). Since then, whenever DD sees the boy she says hello to him or waves. Yesterday, I was with DD and we saw the boy and the little girl, DD said hello to both of them and then the boy told me he was taking her to the park and asked if DD wanted to go with them, I said no but cue a massive tantrum from DD.

I told my DH and he said I should've let her go as i would know where she was and that I'm being overprotective by saying no, but i don't even know the boy, I only know his name and his age!

Aibu?

I wouldn't let him walk my dog.

No, a 3 year old needs all sorts of attention from needing a wee to being randomly hungry, being upset or having a tantrum and the lad just doesn't know her enough to possibly deal with any of those things, especially when he has another 3 year old to look after at the same time. I think it was a nice offer, my brothers would have offered for example, because they're nice, (and not a perverted one like some other pp have alluded to..) but you did the right thing in saying no.

I do find it weird that several posters have said it's "offensive" to assume a stranger had the potential to be a predator, though. It's thinking like that ("Don't be so rude! Of course this person couldn't be a paedo!!") that leaves us vulnerable.
It's this kind of attitude that contributes to a society of general mistrust, suspicion and witch hunting.
Yes, there are predators around, but there are far more kindly, warm hearted people who have no intention of harming children. ( But I still wouldn't have let a young child go off with a stranger. It would be entirely different if the OP knew the boy and his family).