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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said no to this boy taking DD to the park?

207 replies

vors · 21/07/2021 10:05

About a month ago, DD (almost 3) made friends with a girl at the park, she's about the same age, she was at the Park with her uncle (about 15/16). Since then, whenever DD sees the boy she says hello to him or waves. Yesterday, I was with DD and we saw the boy and the little girl, DD said hello to both of them and then the boy told me he was taking her to the park and asked if DD wanted to go with them, I said no but cue a massive tantrum from DD.

I told my DH and he said I should've let her go as i would know where she was and that I'm being overprotective by saying no, but i don't even know the boy, I only know his name and his age!

Aibu?

OP posts:
rwalker · 21/07/2021 11:25

Some of these responses are verging hysteria .
I'd say no due she's young and you don't know them not because I think every male is an abuser .

LadyEuphemia · 21/07/2021 11:27

Why on earth would you hand over your 2 year old, to a random 15 year old that you’ve met a couple of times in the park? Does you DH have a record of really bad decision making? I’d be worried about him looking after her on his own tbh.

Bollindger · 21/07/2021 11:30

My DD has a Scar and still blames me for letting her got with her friends big sister to the park,
If your not happy , you say NO.

IamnotSethRogan · 21/07/2021 11:32

He sounds like a lovely boy but I would have done the same as you

rishisboater · 21/07/2021 11:33

No way. And not even because of his age or sex really. He was a stranger!

MadamBatty · 21/07/2021 11:35

For those people saying it’s a bit of a leap, not all boys are abusers yada yada. Surely this is what safe guarding is all about? Imagining the worst case scenario & mitigating risk?

By not letting the 3 year old go you’re protecting the 15 year old too.

What If the 2 3 year olds run off in opposite directions

How was he going to manage a toilet break?

So much to consider

Ozanj · 21/07/2021 11:35

No I wouldn’t allow my DS to go off with anyone by themselves at such a young age. But I would have gone with them to the park.

doodleZ1 · 21/07/2021 11:36

Never in a million years. If anything happened what would you tell the police, a boy asked and I let him. God no

starfishmummy · 21/07/2021 11:37

I would suspect the invitation was probably given expecting the mother to go as well.

But as a pp says maybe it would be a chance to get to know a potential babysitter once you had found out more about him!!

PaulaPetunia · 21/07/2021 11:38

I went on playdates with mine til they were 6! No way do I send little children out of sight with randoms, however nice they may seem.

Mansplainee · 21/07/2021 11:38

Good god, no way I would allow that. It’s really concerning that your husband thinks this is okay.

GreyhoundG1rl · 21/07/2021 11:39

@starfishmummy

I would suspect the invitation was probably given expecting the mother to go as well.

But as a pp says maybe it would be a chance to get to know a potential babysitter once you had found out more about him!!

Odd way of looking at things.
If op is in the market for babysitting there are better ways of going about it that latching onto random teenagers at the park Confused
Mansplainee · 21/07/2021 11:39

I would suspect the invitation was probably given expecting the mother to go as well.

But also this. Not sure he was actually offering to take your child himself, probably more likely asking if you wanted to join.

MissMissTorrance · 21/07/2021 11:39

Not a chance would I allow a stranger to take my DD to the park.

Eviethyme · 21/07/2021 11:40

No way!! Even I have troubles keeping 2 toddlers safe let alone a 15 year old boy let alone that you don't know

MissMissTorrance · 21/07/2021 11:42

I don't think a 15/16 yr old lad was inviting you on a double playdate to the park.
More likely he thought your dd would entertain his niece whist he sat and chilled watching them whilst playing on his phone

alltalknobaby · 21/07/2021 11:42

Overprotective of a 2 year old? Literally not even possible. YANBU.

Original poster
vors · 21/07/2021 11:45

@GreyhoundG1rl

I'd consider my dh unsuitable to look after my child alone if he thought handing her over to a random teenage boy was ok. Isn't this an issue for you, op?
Yes, I do think its an issue that he thought itd be ok for a stranger to take DD! Even friends don't take her often, it's mainly just family.
OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 21/07/2021 11:46

@MissMissTorrance

I don't think a 15/16 yr old lad was inviting you on a double playdate to the park. More likely he thought your dd would entertain his niece whist he sat and chilled watching them whilst playing on his phone
This 😂
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 21/07/2021 11:46

It's quite concerning that your husband would hand over his toddler to someone he doesn't know anything about.

Kokosrieksts · 21/07/2021 11:48

What’s wrong with your husband??? Of course not!

Maggiesfarm · 21/07/2021 11:48

You were not unreasonable at all; I'm sure he is lovely but you don't know him and you really cannot be too careful. Apart from anything else t's a big responsibiilty for a teenager to look after one three year old, never mind two.You may see more of him and get to know him a bit better in the future.

For now, you did right.

YouMadeABear · 21/07/2021 11:48

YANBU. I wouldn't let my kids go off with anyone I didn't know. Teenager was probably being nice yet a bit clueless. Your DH is the only unreasonable one for not understanding - as a adult - why that's a bad idea.

LaProcureure · 21/07/2021 11:49

Not a fucking chance I would let my 3 year old go on those circumstances. YADNBU

Viviennemary · 21/07/2021 11:50

Absolutely not. And I don't think I'm over-protective.