Secret friend

[Faa27]

How would you feel
If you found out (after a year) that your husband has a friend who you never heard about, he chats to everyday and meets regularly. Just a friend nothing else.

I’d think it was really odd and he was hiding something. Male or female?

Is this friend a woman?
How did you find out?
I would question why he hadn’t told me. Odd.

I would find it odd that he’d never mentioned them in passing

Very odd. I wouldn’t feel good about it.

I forgot to say, a woman. Much younger. They exercise together

My husband never tells me who he's been chatting to so it wouldn't raise any alarms for me.
I'm not that interested to know he's been chatting about the weather with a guy he went to school with. If however, he normally told me and regularly mentioned other friends and it was literally only this one he'd never spoken of, I'd think it highly suspicious.

Xpost.
Yeah. I wouldn't like that. Someone's getting his ego massaged at the very least.

I’m a little annoyed to say the least

Are you the wife or the much younger friend?

I'd question why she needed to be kept secret.

Xpost again.
Yes. I don't blame you.

I'd think he hasn't told me she exists because either something is going on between them or he wants something to go on between them. At the very least he has the hots for her or she has the hots for him and he's loving the attention.

Yeah totally

Almost certainly an affair.

Has he kept it quiet because you have a known jealous streak?

That seems very strange. I’m all for people having their own friends in a relationship but it’s weird to keep it secret - I’m not naturally suspicious but this would make me uncomfortable

It depends on what their relationship is like. If she's a colleague who he's never mentioned, I wouldn't think twice.

If she's someone he met in a bar and takes out for posh meals I'd be pissed.

I’m guessing this isn’t your first marital issue? What’s the back story?

Its not how I would treat my Husband OP... I wouldn't be meeting up with a man secretly for a year ... NO 🌸

I would be deeply suspicious.
I’m not the jealous type - my husband skis with a single woman he met on the slopes one year, who is his level (I’m not) who I’ve never met - I couldn’t care less.
But… I cannot imagine chatting to someone every day and never having mentioned their existence in the most mundane chit chatty way.

I’m sure that’s what he will say

Its the classic, if there is nothing to hide then why has he? And my question to him would be, if you had done the same would it have been ok? Usually, funnily enough, it's one answer for him and one answer for you.
If he has kept this quiet, how have you found out?

it doesn't matter what he says .. it's what you deem acceptable behaviour in your relationship.

This has upset you.. despite others claiming its fine ... its not acceptable to you.. and you're feelings matter more than anyones online opinion...so you need to base your decisions on how this has made you feel.. and if you feel its ok for him to carry on then thats ok.. if not.. ask him to leave 🌸

I checked his phone

*your feelings