My comments:
Regarding the sex/need issue, indeed as you noted I've never said it's a need. It most certainly is an extremely strong urge and drive, and men as a class can be swayed by sex or the promise thereof.
Not all by any means. I know we often and you specify class terms and that's a good basis generally. However in this conversation the fact that there are a good number of men who don't feel/ feel but don't act in that way. The portrayal of men with these conversations is deeply around stereotypes of a particular type of masculinity. And the number of men who aren't that way is not small enough to ignore IMO.
Eg men who
Want an emotional connection with their partner
Are uncomfortable with one offs. Because of things like shyness, religion, personal feelings of what's right/ wrong, a knowledge that it would in the end make them feel crap about themselves, concern about the industry, finding the idea seedy/ desperate/ sad, low sex drive, asexuality (talked about a lot at the mo), being an old school romantic (men used to pine and write poetry etc I'm sure they've not vanished!), being concerned about STDs Pregnancy.
I know there are men who would not drop their trousers and dive in because well. Any hole's a goal.
'As with all generalities, there are those for whom this statement will be either more or less valid, but as a generality it holds water. You only have to see how many men have risked/lost everything for a lay (when cheating on their OH for example).'
Women cheat as well.
'And while you may counter that this is because those men were arseholes, it is still the case that the medium through which they stumbled was sex.'
People are people. Relationships are complex. If the woman isn't single then it's the same both ways.
'Truth be told this isn't simply due to such men being disgusting, but it's an actual biological drive. No different than any other species which has the instinctive urge to procreate and propagate its seed. So of course nobody is saying 'men' can't keep it in their pants, but as a generality, it is extremely difficult.'
Women have sex drives as well you know! Around the world our sexual behaviour is controlled and judged in a way men's is not. We also have more risk- pregnancy, rape, these days risks around being filmed and pasted all over the net. The consequences of sexual activity with the 'wrong' bloke or at the 'wrong' time range from boys and sometimes girls at school calling you awful names and bullying you, to being raped, murdered, imprisoned etc. This all makes us understandly rather more cautious.
'Now coming back to the 'need' question, we would first have to define 'need'. If it is simply that which without having it we would die, then no, sex isn't a need.'
A PP likened it to food. Amnesty Ireland had a policy proposal that referred to sex as a right/ human right (see old threads). In general in human rights stuff etc certain needs should be met. Viewing sex as a need needs to be approached with caution given eg amnesty.
'But if you broaden out the term to mean whatever is necessary for one to be physically and emotionally happy and healthy, then sex is a need. At least for men (and I'm speaking as one).'
It's a want not a need.
And where is the consideration of the physical and emotional happiness of the seller? Is theirs less important? Is that s fair exchange? Also. Sounds different to mowing a lawn to me.
'To be clear, by 'sex' I don't mean just an ejaculation, for that can easily me self-administered. What I mean is an intimate relationship with another person. This is as much a need as any other of our so called needs that help us thrive emotionally.''
Intimacy? That's a big ask. Relationship??? The women are being paid to be fucked. The vast majority do not like the men. They do not like the men. Plenty hate the men. How can anyone see that as emotionally enriching intimacy? They are acting. They are working.
And that's one hell of a service just the same as doing warehouse work, surely?