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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel awful at telling my 7 year old to fuck off in these circumstances?

246 replies

goodforyouyoulookhappy · 17/07/2021 22:54

I am a single mum to 7 year old daughter, I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes (January 2021), I'm not even 30 and it's been a struggle getting used to everything.

Yesterday I'm not sure exactly what happened, but a few hours after eating I was just getting ready in a hurry and started to feel a hypo come on, I started shaking, sweating etc went into that dream like state. However, at the time I didn't really notice it was happening, it's really hard to explain.

Anyway my daughter then came up the stairs and I said 'do your teeth please' and she started moaning about doing her teeth. This infuriated me because why would she moan about doing her teeth? It's something that she literally has to do every day, does she really think moaning is going to get her out of it? I felt this overwhelming rage and said 'oh fuck off Jess'. She looked taken aback and said 'no need to swear, I was only kidding' and then did them.

I went down stairs and checked my blood, was having a hypo so got that sorted. I just feel so bad, I don't know what came over me. I'm usually a very calm person, have a great relationship with my daughter, a very calm and peaceful house. 'Fuck off' is not how we speak to each other.

I apologised to her and explained what happened and said it was no excuse and I will do better next time. She seems fine but I feel still awful all day today about it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Summerdaysx · 17/07/2021 22:56

I wouldn't let it upset you, you know it wasn't nice, it's a one off, not as if you say it all the time. Forget about it Thanks

Ju11tne · 17/07/2021 22:56

Let it go OP. You said your usually calm and I'm sure your doing a great job. Your child will survive.

The teeth issue is what most of us parents have to remind the kids about daily your not alone.

Lougle · 17/07/2021 22:57

It's not ideal. But if you were mid-hypo, that explains a lot.

334bu · 17/07/2021 22:58

Cut yourself a bit of slack. Irritability is a common symptom. You have explained and apologised, so put it behind you.

Amrapaali · 17/07/2021 22:59

What exactly is your AIBU here? You were of course very unreasonable to swear at your daughter. Are you looking for strangers on MN to absolve you?

Highfive2021 · 17/07/2021 22:59

I have no idea if you would lose control of your speech in this situation but you might want to get your child’s name removed.

TotorosCatBus · 17/07/2021 22:59

Is there anything that she can do next time you have a hypo? Are there any signs that she can look out for if you are having a hypo? It sounds like a very scary experience physically

Original poster
goodforyouyoulookhappy · 17/07/2021 23:00

@Highfive2021 it's not her real name

OP posts:
Marmalady75 · 17/07/2021 23:00

Let yourself off the hook - you were having a hypo, which can be scary and confusing add in top a whining child and I can see why the words came out instead of staying as a thought in your head. If you must learn a lesson from this it is to take care of yourself.

LagneyandCasey · 17/07/2021 23:01

It's the apology and explanation that's the important thing. Parents make mistakes and dc learn a lot from how those mistakes are rectified.

ToDoListAddict · 17/07/2021 23:06

My mum could get quite nasty during her hypos.
At least you recognised it and apologised to your daughter.

Vispa · 17/07/2021 23:07

My normally calm, gentle relative who has diabetes becomes very difficult, rude and even aggressive during a hypo. He is always the perfect gentleman until he had a hypo - he cannot control it. You have explained the situation to your daughter and apologised, please don't beat yourself up about it, its not your fault x

irresistibleoverwhelm · 17/07/2021 23:10

Absolutely cut yourself some slack - it was a one-off and understandable. It won’t harm your daughter - just put it aside and move on. It’s a good lesson for her that sometimes people are not at their best when ill and tired, and they say things they don’t mean, but you’d never normally do that. It’s okay.

Cam2020 · 17/07/2021 23:11

What exactly is your AIBU here? You were of course very unreasonable to swear at your daughter. Are you looking for strangers on MN to absolve you?

So what if she is? She doesn't have a partner to talk this through with, she's said she feels bad and it sounds like a new and scary expeirence that she's getting to grips with.

OP, you're human and you're learning about managing this disease. Of course telling your child to fuck off is unreasonable, but you weren't yourself. You're sorry, you've apologised and talked it through with your daughter. You'll learn how to manage things and hopefully it wont be as scary and overwhelming in time. Your daughter will also learn to read the signs.

goddessofmischief · 17/07/2021 23:12

The apology is good but telling a 7 year old to fuck off is not. I'll probably be jumped on, but that's a step too far for me. Concentrate on getting it under control.

3ormorecharacters · 17/07/2021 23:13

I believe that having a hypo is a legitimate defence for murder (this may or may not be an urban myth) so I think it's established that you're not really in control of your actions in those circumstances.

Original poster
goodforyouyoulookhappy · 17/07/2021 23:14

Thank you to all your kind responses- it seems I do need to cut myself some slack. Tomorrow is a new day, it ruined yesterday and today as I kept apologising today and she would say it's okay, trying to explain to her that it's not okay for anyone to speak to her like that, even a parent Blush. I need to draw a line under it and not let it ruin tomorrow too, and do better next time.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 17/07/2021 23:15

Let it go. It can be akin to being in strong drugs, what it does to your mental capacity. Just glad you’re ok now?

cornflake12 · 17/07/2021 23:16

Type 1
20 years I've learnt to go somewhere alone and not talk to anyone til I'm better as I can't cope

cornflake12 · 17/07/2021 23:17

Also your daughter will get used to it and know to avoid you til you're ok again

CareBear50 · 17/07/2021 23:17

@Amrapaali

What exactly is your AIBU here? You were of course very unreasonable to swear at your daughter. Are you looking for strangers on MN to absolve you?
Oh for goodness sake.....a little grace here towards OP would be nice.

The OP knows what she did was wrong.....she's getting used to her new medical condition and made a mistake.she apologised and I'm sure she has learnt from this experience going by her comments

Original poster
goodforyouyoulookhappy · 17/07/2021 23:17

@3ormorecharacters that's the thing it genuinely did feel like I was out of control, like in a dream like state and that it just came out of my mouth without even a second thought and the anger I felt was overwhelming. As soon as I'd had food and a sugary drink and felt back to normal I was full of apologies and appalled. But even directly after it I didn't care what I'd just said. Was really weird.

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 17/07/2021 23:22

I was in a ward in hospital pre baby and another pregnant mom had a hypo. It was actually a bit scary and she was acting as if she was drunk. So it seems that's what actually happens. Also dd shared an apartment with another student and the same thing happened. I think living with other students she should have told them what to do if this happened. Is there a book you and your dd could read together about what may happen. Does she know what to do if you are acting strange? I think there may be a nurse who will come to your home and teach you and all your family what to expect and how to cope. This is all new so bound to take a while to adjust.

FunTimes2020 · 17/07/2021 23:22

@Highfive2021

I have no idea if you would lose control of your speech in this situation but you might want to get your child’s name removed.
There's probably more than one Jess in the world Hmm
Babdoc · 17/07/2021 23:24

OP, I’m a retired doctor, and I can assure you that diabetic hypos very commonly cause aggression and confusion before unconsciousness occurs.
One of our theatre sisters was diabetic and very prone to them, as she tried to control her glucose level too tightly. It used to take two nurses to pin her on the floor, as she shouted, punched and swore, while we tried to administer glucose!
Explain to your DD that the low sugar level affects your brain and makes you behave like a drunk person. Reassure her that you would never normally swear at her, and that she should ignore any unpleasantness that is due to a hypo, while making sure that you have a source of sugar and take it quickly.