To feel awful at telling my 7 year old to fuck off in these circumstances?

[goodforyouyoulookhappy]

I am a single mum to 7 year old daughter, I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes (January 2021), I'm not even 30 and it's been a struggle getting used to everything.

Yesterday I'm not sure exactly what happened, but a few hours after eating I was just getting ready in a hurry and started to feel a hypo come on, I started shaking, sweating etc went into that dream like state. However, at the time I didn't really notice it was happening, it's really hard to explain.

Anyway my daughter then came up the stairs and I said 'do your teeth please' and she started moaning about doing her teeth. This infuriated me because why would she moan about doing her teeth? It's something that she literally has to do every day, does she really think moaning is going to get her out of it? I felt this overwhelming rage and said 'oh fuck off Jess'. She looked taken aback and said 'no need to swear, I was only kidding' and then did them.

I went down stairs and checked my blood, was having a hypo so got that sorted. I just feel so bad, I don't know what came over me. I'm usually a very calm person, have a great relationship with my daughter, a very calm and peaceful house. 'Fuck off' is not how we speak to each other.

I apologised to her and explained what happened and said it was no excuse and I will do better next time. She seems fine but I feel still awful all day today about it.

AIBU?

🙄🙄🙄 at all those who’ve decided they know better about something they clearly are entirely ignorant about.

@Ozanj in particular. You are ignorant in the extreme if you think it’s always within a diabetic’s power to manage their blood glucose/insulin precisely enough in order never to have a hypo. Particularly when they are newly diagnosed and don’t yet know how their body will be behaving in general never mind in every single circumstance.

lose the swearing op

Have you read this thread? OP was in the grips of a hypo!

Blood glucose rises and falls as a matter of course. That’s how the body works.

Hypos are more common if you’re using your meds as you should, because there will invariably be times where your body doesn’t react as expected.

My DHs grandfather was the most polite and calm gentleman you'd ever meet. He once got arrested for being drunk and disorderly and resisting arrest (at about 74) in the high street until they found out he was diabetic and having a hypo. It's a very scary but normal reaction to lose you inhibitons and becomes rude and aggressive.
You've apologised and I would have a long sit down with your daughter and explain that this is the result of the condition. That you are doing your best to have it under control but occasionally it catches you unawares. Perhaps say to her if you act out of character she should suggest you check your blood sugars so you are giving her some agency in the relationship.

OP ignore the ignorant preachy arsehole who clearly has no idea what it's actually like try and manage diabetes.

@goddessofmischief

The apology is good but telling a 7 year old to fuck off is not. I'll probably be jumped on, but that's a step too far for me. Concentrate on getting it under control.

I’m curious if you’ve ever experienced a hypo? You’re not in full control that’s part of the point. The OP is getting to grips with a life changing disease and the effects it has on her body. In time she’ll learn how to manage it more effectively and also what can impact blood sugars (I never thought heat would have such an impact) and so will have less frequent hypos.

@Twoforthree

Haven’t bothered to read the opening post or any reply.

There is NEVER any circumstances that would justify that.

Then try it some time dickhead

@Twoforthree

Haven’t bothered to read the opening post or any reply.

There is NEVER any circumstances that would justify that.

Ok, hands up!

I should have read the opening post

Sorry

I'd advise you to try to teach your daughter about hypos. 8 years ago I was in the same state. I was reading something that my daughter had put on FB about my new Grandson. I was FURIOUS because I was certain that what she had called him on the post was not his name. I didn't know what it was, but I was absolutely certain that it wasn't what she was calling him. Luckily my husband came in just then, and asked what was the matter, and realised I was having a hypo. He had great difficulty in persuading me that I needed to drink some juice or eat something, and in the end said "OK, we'll have a coffee and a biscuit shall we?" and sat down and handed me a biscuit. I was still raging about my daughter lying about the baby's name, as I absent-mindedly ate the biscuit!

@goodforyouyoulookhappy
Does your dd know what to do if you go into a diabetic coma ?
I think gently reminding her today in light of what happened yesterday would be a good idea. I think it will also help her to understand that her Mum "wasn't herself" when she cursed at her.

some families are a bit sweary. I dont think its that bad. They do test our patience sometimes

@goodforyouyoulookhappy it’s so much to take in and so much to adapt to when you first get diagnosed. Of course you’d never have done that in your right mind, but you weren’t in a state to recognise it to do anything about it before it was too late. You’ve done the right thing in apologising and explaining.

I agree with others that it would be good to teach your daughter about how to recognise hypos so that she can understand if it happens again, and also about diabetic coma so that she knows to look out for you if it ever happens.

81Byerley - I know hypos aren’t funny but that did make me giggle!

I totally understand. This is not a thread suitable for AIBU because most posters won't have enough understanding of diabetes.

I can't control my emotions as I'm going hypo. The more someone insists I am hypo, the stropppier I get. It's embarrassing. Doesn't bother Dh now after all these years. Bothers me.

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

It's awful to swear at your child. So yes YABU. When did it become ok to use fuck in front of let alone at a child?!

I think it was last autumn sometime. I remember seeing a piece about it in The Times.

My aunry has diabetes, she was a very kind gentle soul. When hypo I've never heard such language! My mum- her sister- knew it wasnt really her and ignored a d got her sorted every time.... it's not you it's the disease, just explain this to dd for future too.

[quote WalkingOnTheCracks]@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

It's awful to swear at your child. So yes YABU. When did it become ok to use fuck in front of let alone at a child?!

I think it was last autumn sometime. I remember seeing a piece about it in The Times.[/quote]
i think the Times were late,
i think it came in with Covid, Dec 2019

I told my six year old daughter to fuck off once.
It was six o'clock on a Sunday morning and she blew a recorder in my ear.
She survives untraumatised although she still remembers it.

when my teenager complained that the food I had made was "ugh, vegan" for the fifty millionth time since I went vegetarian this year - not even vegan, I told him to either eat it or fuck off. Im not even diabetic, just sick of everyones shit

Some of the responses on here are so ill informed and nasty.

I'm not diabetic. I'm epileptic. Very rarely before a seizure my behaviour becomes very different to who I am. I become verbally aggressive. It's awful afterwards when I find out what I've said in that phase of the seizure.

We've dealt with this by getting my children really well educated in epilepsy and how it effects me. So they can help spot the signs of an imminent seizure and explain why I'm swearing when I usually wouldn't be. And they are now adults and totally fine.

I wish you well op x

I really wouldn’t worry about this. My mum has type 1 and growing up I saw her do and say all manner of bizarre things when hypo.

It’s just one of those things. Diabetes can be a bastard to live with at times, but your daughter will soon learn to distinguish ‘you’ from ‘hypo you’

Sorry you’ve had some horrible and ignorant comments here. At least your daughter is likely to develop some empathy from watching you manage your condition.

Hypos can cause erratic behaviour. You’ve explained and apologised. Nothing else you can do.

@AbsolutelyPatsy

lose the swearing op

Lose the uninformed judgemental attitude @AbsolutelyPatsy