To feel awful at telling my 7 year old to fuck off in these circumstances?

[goodforyouyoulookhappy]

I am a single mum to 7 year old daughter, I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes (January 2021), I'm not even 30 and it's been a struggle getting used to everything.

Yesterday I'm not sure exactly what happened, but a few hours after eating I was just getting ready in a hurry and started to feel a hypo come on, I started shaking, sweating etc went into that dream like state. However, at the time I didn't really notice it was happening, it's really hard to explain.

Anyway my daughter then came up the stairs and I said 'do your teeth please' and she started moaning about doing her teeth. This infuriated me because why would she moan about doing her teeth? It's something that she literally has to do every day, does she really think moaning is going to get her out of it? I felt this overwhelming rage and said 'oh fuck off Jess'. She looked taken aback and said 'no need to swear, I was only kidding' and then did them.

I went down stairs and checked my blood, was having a hypo so got that sorted. I just feel so bad, I don't know what came over me. I'm usually a very calm person, have a great relationship with my daughter, a very calm and peaceful house. 'Fuck off' is not how we speak to each other.

I apologised to her and explained what happened and said it was no excuse and I will do better next time. She seems fine but I feel still awful all day today about it.

AIBU?

I bet we've all had similar thoughts when our children are pushing us to our limits, but in your case your hypo meant you had no filter or means to control what came out of your mouth. You should definitely cut yourself some slack, sounds like it wasn't such a big deal to your DD

you apologise and explained and maybe this will help her recognise if you are having a hypo again. She is young but none of us behave perfectly in the real world and children should learn that (not suggesting that its okay normally to behave badly towards children) - and she is learning that we should own our slip ups and apologise.. The important thing is you behave well usually and have explained the situation.

@TotorosCatBus

Is there anything that she can do next time you have a hypo? Are there any signs that she can look out for if you are having a hypo? It sounds like a very scary experience physically

This.

I do sympathize. Hypos are very scary

FWIW, my relative now has one of those continuous blood sugar monitors (that alert him if he starts to get too high or low) and an insulin pump. They've made a world of difference to him and his levels now stay very stable all the time. Might be worth looking into in the future... Hope you are OK, it's a difficult thing to get used to dealing with, and a lot to cope with. I'm sure your DD is fine, none of us are perfect parents

I think put it down to your hypo. Maybe you can take time to explain how your body reacts in a hypo to your daughter - it would be useful if she too could spot signs for you.

She seems to understand it was.out of character.

I don't think it's a bad thing for children to realise that their parents are always perfect and it's a good thing that they when they aren't, they take time to explain and apologise.

She will have learned a lot from that and particularly what the signs are that you are having a potential hypo and what she can do to help in that circumstance.

Don’t beat yourself up about it. You have explained to her what happened and apologised. Maybe it’s not a bad thing that she begins to understand that if you don’t act like yourself then you might be having a hypo. I agree with other suggestions - maybe a book about diabetes, or a nurse explaining it to her so she’s not as either shocked or scared if you behave out of sorts again.

And FYI single parent of an 8 year old here we argue about teeth brushing everyday… why?! It’s exhausting!

@FunTimes2020 depending on what OP posts could be identifying, was just trying to be helpful no need to be a knob.

I have Ibs and sometimes am doubled over and my daughter who non stop talks always wants to talk to me at that precise moment, I always say to her give me a minute but a few times she’s thrown a tantrum about absolutely nothing and I’ve told her to get out of my face. She usually gets the point, I always feel bad after but in that moment when you need just a few minutes and the kids just wanna test your patience.

The change of personality during hypos is common and children who have parents with diabetes learn to recognise the signs and to distinguish between when their parent is "normal" and when they are saying or doing things that are out of character.

Don’t feel bad, have a chat with her about what happened. It’s good for her to spot changes incase she needs to help you. Yes the words could of been chosen better but it’s happened, you weren’t well. I’m sure once you explain and apologise all will be well. My nan is type 1 and can be nasty if she’s low, But knowing her levels aren’t quite right no matter how it may initially hurt I know it’s down to her levels.

You need to explain to her why you behaved that way as she's probably thinking of a million reasons as in can't understand. Give her assurance.
And OP please take care of yourself too. You matter ❤️

@goddessofmischief

The apology is good but telling a 7 year old to fuck off is not. I'll probably be jumped on, but that's a step too far for me. Concentrate on getting it under control.

The OP was in a diabetic hypo. Maybe take some time to have a read about what that means and how it can affect the body and mind instead od tellling the OP to get it under control. It is not that simple.

In future treat the hypo and worry about the teeth after. Aggression is so common with a hypo , my father if he gets low enough can get very aggressive. Refusing to take anything for the hypo and insisting he must walk the dog 🙈🙈 don't beat yourself up a diabetes diagnosis is very hard to come to terms with.

@goddessofmischief, the OP was having a hypo she cannot control what she says/does hence why she said it. She wasn’t just a stressed mum that lost control she was having a hypo and her brain was starting to shut down, it’s not something she can control especially as a newly diagnosed diabetic.

One of the symptoms of a hypo is aggression. It's one of the signs we look out for with our patients esp if they're regular and we know their personalities. Don't feel bad it's honestly not your fault but I would try explaining it to your daughter in the best way you can x

That sounds scary for you and your dd. I wuld forgive yourself and concentrate on managing you condtion o try o avoid it in future.

I have a 7yo dd who is well behaved but still argues about brushing teeth, having a bath etc regularly- don't think it's anything out of the ordinary.

@goddessofmischief

The apology is good but telling a 7 year old to fuck off is not. I'll probably be jumped on, but that's a step too far for me. Concentrate on getting it under control.

You clearly have absolutely no experience or knowledge of hypos. 'Getting it under control'.. silly OP, why didn't she think of that!? 🙄

If its any consolation OP my DS also whinges about doing his teeth! I think he thinks it's optional.

Hey OP, I'm also type 1 diabetic and under 30 old although have had the condition 18 years now. Unfortunately hypos can be difficult for us and for those around us. I've said a fair few things over the years and once cried hysterically over a pear! Its a tough thing to deal with. Definitely worth speaking to your daughter about warning signs of the condition as she, like my family might well become tuned into how small things you say and do are an indication of hypos. Also helps her understand what to do in serious situations so she can act quickly and with confidence. But I also apologise always afterwards as it feels like the right thing to do. Please do reach out privately if you want to chat, vent etc. Best wishes.

Yup, agree with others, cut yourself some slack.

Cut yourself some slack OP. A very close childhood friend of mine was diagnosed T1 since she was 7. She's mid 40s now and still gets caught out once in a while. She's bloody foul on occasion. And that's OK! Just explain to your dd that you're sorry, you didn't mean it and that you weren't feeling well.

@Amrapaali

What's wrong with you? She was mid hypo. She didnt tell her daughter to fuck off; the hypo did. Have you never seen anyone in that state? If you havent, then it explains why you have no idea what you're talking about.

I still remember the drama teacher at my school having a hypo mid class. He was the most effervescent, amazing teacher and we loved him. The language that he used, the way he spoke... it was so so out of no where. But it was the hypo. It's a medical state; not an angry, bad parent state.

Hi haven't read whole thread but re hypos wanted to recommend getting continuous glucose monitoring

dont feel bad. you apologized and you sound like a good mother either way . Just maybe learn to find a way to not do it again when you are under those circumstances. Maybe when in a hypo again tell her you are in one so she can not communicate with you until you feel better so you dont repeat it again ?