To feel awful at telling my 7 year old to fuck off in these circumstances?

[goodforyouyoulookhappy]

I am a single mum to 7 year old daughter, I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes (January 2021), I'm not even 30 and it's been a struggle getting used to everything.

Yesterday I'm not sure exactly what happened, but a few hours after eating I was just getting ready in a hurry and started to feel a hypo come on, I started shaking, sweating etc went into that dream like state. However, at the time I didn't really notice it was happening, it's really hard to explain.

Anyway my daughter then came up the stairs and I said 'do your teeth please' and she started moaning about doing her teeth. This infuriated me because why would she moan about doing her teeth? It's something that she literally has to do every day, does she really think moaning is going to get her out of it? I felt this overwhelming rage and said 'oh fuck off Jess'. She looked taken aback and said 'no need to swear, I was only kidding' and then did them.

I went down stairs and checked my blood, was having a hypo so got that sorted. I just feel so bad, I don't know what came over me. I'm usually a very calm person, have a great relationship with my daughter, a very calm and peaceful house. 'Fuck off' is not how we speak to each other.

I apologised to her and explained what happened and said it was no excuse and I will do better next time. She seems fine but I feel still awful all day today about it.

AIBU?

It may be worth seeing if you can put things in place to stop it happening again if you think there is a risk

I'm sure OP is working on that, given that I assume she'd rather not die. Jesus.

Sorry it was not for @WalkingOnTheCracks it was for @Amrapaali

It may be worth seeing if you can put things in place to stop it happening again if you think there is a risk, but if it was just a one off then that’s not really needed

🍪

Just reading through responses, thank you everyone. A hypo kit is a great idea and am going to put that together today and let my daughter know where it is also if future instances occur.

@ElfridaEtAl

Very telling from this thread the posters who know about diabetes and those who absolutely do not

OP, it might be a good idea to use this as an opportunity to teach your DD about your hypos, and that of something like this happens again, mum might need some help and keep a list of numbers on the fridge of people she can ring?

Great idea with list of numbers on the fridge, will do that also. Thanks!

I know it's early days OP but it might be useful for your DD to engage with any available young carers group? She's not really caring as such but might need to be in a supervision capacity to make sure that you get care you need if you are unable to do this for yourself. It might be useful for her to be able to chat about how this feels and works with other children in the same situation?

“That was meant for @WalkingOnTheCracks”

Er…I don’t think it was.

@WalkingOnTheCracks pp has clarified that it wasn’t meant for you

There was an article on Radio2 recently where a guest explained that swearing is our way of us demonstrating our passion and true emotion. It highlights and emphasis just how strongly we feel about something.

[quote Ninkanink]@WalkingOnTheCracks pp has clarified that it wasn’t meant for you [/quote]
AH, OKAY.

Apologies @WalkingOnTheCracks I'm clearly rubbish at multitasking.

@Seeleyboo

I'm more surprised she knew what a swear word was and the word swear at 7. If i said that to my two girls, other than my tone they would have no idea what the word was and probably wouldn't react. Do you often swear around you child.

I'm dead.

Yes because 7 year olds only ever hear a female parent talk

Strangely mine sometimes seem to have difficulty hearing either of their parents talk at times 🤣

I have a couple of diabetic family members and this sounds very normal behaviour during a hypo. They can get really rude and verbally aggressive, but as soon as they sort out their hypo they’re totally fine again.

That wasn’t really ‘you’ when you said that. Don’t beat yourself up.

@Seeleyboo

I'm more surprised she knew what a swear word was and the word swear at 7. If i said that to my two girls, other than my tone they would have no idea what the word was and probably wouldn't react. Do you often swear around you child.

Loooool.

My DD was five when she came home from reception class one day and asked me: “mummy, what does ‘fucking hell’ mean?” One of the older kids had said it in the playground.

Unless your children literally never leave the house, I don’t believe they’ve never heard a swear word.

@Seeleyboo

I'm more surprised she knew what a swear word was and the word swear at 7. If i said that to my two girls, other than my tone they would have no idea what the word was and probably wouldn't react. Do you often swear around you child.

Do your children not go out in the street?

@81Byerley

Indeed. My DDs hear it on you-tube. It’s impossible to avoid it these days.

Anyone who says you are unreasonable has quite obviously had no experience of diabetes.

Ideally you need to sit your daughter down and explain to her about your medical condition. It’s not your fault but she needs to know that if you act out of character then you could be hyper or hypo.

My husband is a T1 diabetic and the children are just as good as me at realising when he has a blood sugar issue. They shout out “mum dad needs to do a blood test” or say “Dad check your blood sugar!” Yes they are children but they are living with someone who has a lifelong medical condition.

Make sure your daughter knows how to dial 999 too just incase. I have a list of numbers on wall for the children to call just incase. Never needed it but they feel happier having that help close by if needed.

Please don’t be hard on yourself it is not your fault xx

Agree I was going to post YABU but hadn't read the OP properly.

For all the people posting about my comment. I doubted myself. I asked my girls. Do you know what swear words are. No. Do you know what swear means. No. Do you know what bad words are. Yes......shush or move or name calling. I rest my case.

That's hardly rest your case material!!!

They don't know any of the many definitions / uses of the word swear?

You need to improve their vocab. Reading more will help.

I swear I didn't do it
I swear on my X's life
Swear on the Bible
Swear allegiance
Etc etc

@Seeleyboo it's actually quite worrying that your 7 year old doesn't know any swear words. Do you keep them in the house without television? If they don't know any swear words then they sure as hell aren't mixing with other kids so they must be homeschooled and they must never play with other kids at all?

I also enjoy the fact that you came on to make the OP feel inferior and insinuate that her swearing wasn't a one off, but it's actually backfired and you come off looking like the strange one.

We don't have a bible. We are not swearing allegiance and they don't have an x's. Not sure what reading more will do. My children just don't know what a swear word is.