To feel awful at telling my 7 year old to fuck off in these circumstances?

[goodforyouyoulookhappy]

I am a single mum to 7 year old daughter, I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes (January 2021), I'm not even 30 and it's been a struggle getting used to everything.

Yesterday I'm not sure exactly what happened, but a few hours after eating I was just getting ready in a hurry and started to feel a hypo come on, I started shaking, sweating etc went into that dream like state. However, at the time I didn't really notice it was happening, it's really hard to explain.

Anyway my daughter then came up the stairs and I said 'do your teeth please' and she started moaning about doing her teeth. This infuriated me because why would she moan about doing her teeth? It's something that she literally has to do every day, does she really think moaning is going to get her out of it? I felt this overwhelming rage and said 'oh fuck off Jess'. She looked taken aback and said 'no need to swear, I was only kidding' and then did them.

I went down stairs and checked my blood, was having a hypo so got that sorted. I just feel so bad, I don't know what came over me. I'm usually a very calm person, have a great relationship with my daughter, a very calm and peaceful house. 'Fuck off' is not how we speak to each other.

I apologised to her and explained what happened and said it was no excuse and I will do better next time. She seems fine but I feel still awful all day today about it.

AIBU?

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

It's awful to swear at your child. So yes YABU. When did it become ok to use fuck in front of let alone at a child?!

Flipping heck. There's another one!

Blimey - it's like some posters have never even seen Julia Roberts claw at her bridal up-do in 'Steel Magnolias' . . . 😂

Horrible experience for you, OP, and not particularly nice for your daughter. But I'm sure she'll dig deep and find the strength to go on 🙄

what can OP do to prevent her swearing at her daughter again when she is in that circumstance again ?

Nothing. The only thing she can do it do her utmost to avoid the situation, but it is impossible to guarantee she will never have another hypo. Which is why posters are advising her to watch out for hypo warning signs, to have a hypo kit handy at all times, and to teach her daughter what to do if it happens again.

When did it become ok to use fuck in front of let alone at a child?!

Nobody is saying it is okay to swear at a child. However, the OP was not in control of her actions due to a medical condition. She is doing everything she can - she apologised, explained and it going to teach her daughter about hypos and what to do if they happen.

Use this as motivation to keep your diabetes under control. Irritability under a hypo is not in your control, but getting to a hypo stage is. You need to work with your consultant to ensure your diet works for you & swot up on the latest dietary research at Diabetes UK.

@ChloeCrocodile

what can OP do to prevent her swearing at her daughter again when she is in that circumstance again ?

Nothing. The only thing she can do it do her utmost to avoid the situation, but it is impossible to guarantee she will never have another hypo. Which is why posters are advising her to watch out for hypo warning signs, to have a hypo kit handy at all times, and to teach her daughter what to do if it happens again.

When did it become ok to use fuck in front of let alone at a child?!

Nobody is saying it is okay to swear at a child. However, the OP was not in control of her actions due to a medical condition. She is doing everything she can - she apologised, explained and it going to teach her daughter about hypos and what to do if they happen.

Getting to a hypo stage is absolutely in a diabetic’s control. This is where one has to take responsibility for their diet and blood sugar monitoring.

I've said some horrible things when in a hypo so I get it. Also, your DD didn’t seem too bothered? Shocked yes but she didn’t cry or anything by the sounds of it so it sounds like she’s okay. I would just apologise to her, say it was because you weren't feeling well, and move on.

You feel better for that dig Ozanj?

I’m sure the OP is well aware of that.

I am very calm would never say boo to a goose and during hypos, I have yelled that I hated my husband and sworn etc.

Don’t worry about it, but I would say keep some glucose tablets with you at all times then you can deal with it quicker. Walking down a stairs with low blood sugar is a recipe for disaster!

@MaMelon

You feel better for that dig Ozanj?

I’m sure the OP is well aware of that.

It’s the truth. I grew up with a diabetic mum who never managed her hypos. I wouldn’t wish that torture on anyone.

Mate, when I have low sugar I get irritable, and I don't have diabetes.

Give yourself a break.

It’s the truth. I grew up with a diabetic mum who never managed her hypos. I wouldn’t wish that torture on anyone

At no point has the OP said she never manages hers - you’re projecting. The OP is newly diagnosed and doesn’t need any lectures about what ‘one must do’ - she feels bad enough already.

Wow the lack of awareness on here is disgusting. Hypos are not always in the control of the diabetic, hence them being diabetic! Especially newly diagnosed.

OP, I suggest teaching your daughter about signs of hypos. Having a little kit available she can just hand you if she notices any signs.

Getting to a hypo stage is absolutely in a diabetic’s control. This is where one has to take responsibility for their diet and blood sugar monitoring.

Rubbish ~ we diabetics are still individuals so foods affect us all in varying degrees. Try to show a little empathy , OP is newly diagnosed and still learning.

Do you have a Libre sensor OP. I think it would really help you as your phone will alarm when the glucose level starts dropping. They have been game changing for my patients, especially when you are still getting to grips with your new diagnosis.

Sending you a huge hug. I cannot repeat the things people have said to me during hypos but they are most out of character and never the real person talking but it’s normal. Talk to your daughter about why it occurred and maybe discuss hypo symptoms with her too, that way she can also help you if needed in this situation.

Haven’t bothered to read the opening post or any reply.

There is NEVER any circumstances that would justify that.

Please give yourself a break with this. It was outside your control.

Wouldn't worry but I'd have a code word for your daughter and an emergency box with stuff in. Jelly babies etc she can get you and she will know when you say it how you are

@Twoforthree

Haven’t bothered to read the opening post or any reply.

There is NEVER any circumstances that would justify that.

Because judging without relevant information and context is such a good idea. What could possibly go wrong. 😂

Loving all the non diabetics here telling you how you just have to get it under control.

You do realise how many things affect a blood sugar level right? It's not just food vs insulin at play! Hormones, the weather, stress levels the position of the moon (and that's only slightly tounge in cheek!) all affect things.

I could knock a glass over and make myself jump and it would change the result of my meal completely. Once you've inject that insulin it's tough you can't take it out again! So if you sit down to a meal that you then can't finish for some reason it's tough you have to deal with the after affects!!

Don't feels bad OP. It does get easier, you do learn your body and its likely responses and things like this will be less likely to happy.

Is it ideal you swore at her? No. But it's also not ideal that I dropped a book on my DDs food yesterday and now she has a bruse! Give her a hug and apologise, explain what was happening then stick it in a box and forget about it.

I used to work in A&E and I remember admitting an immaculately dressed lady who, in the middle of the clerking process roared at me in her impeccable cut glass accent, "Get me a fucking biscuit, you lazy useless bitch".
Turns out she was having a hypo. Also turns out she was a lovely person, I remember her because of the loveliness.
Don't beat yourself up, it sounds like you handled the situation perfectly. You and your DD will get better at dealing with these situations. You sound like a great mum x

@Twoforthree

Haven’t bothered to read the opening post or any reply.

There is NEVER any circumstances that would justify that.

Oh, do pull yourself together.

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

It's awful to swear at your child. So yes YABU. When did it become ok to use fuck in front of let alone at a child?!

That's the point - when somebody is in the middle of a hypo, they can say or do thing they normally wouldn't ever think of because they are a Diabetic and having a hypo.

I've been told to Fuck Off by an absolutely lovely child - their Libre was pinging their phone as they'd dropped to 2.0. Once they'd been coaxed into testing and taking their Glucagon, they were in floods of tears apologising profusely for being so horrible to me. Normally, they're a bit vague and can't remember what they're supposed to be doing, but on this occasion, it was a full blown explosion due at least in part to the stresses of;

Normal life being absolutely not normal.
Continual Testing.
Insulin.
Not knowing why the levels are fucking around this time.
Fear (of the hypo once it was realised).
Carb counting.
Having to choose/decline things based upon numbers, not pleasure.
Not being like everybody else.
Having a second diagnosis of Celiac (very common) which further restricts food choices.
Tiredness.
Being woken up in the night because the hypo alarm goes off.
Frustration.
Knowing the worse case stories.
Possibly coming down with an infection (brewing a cold can send levels haywire long before the first sniffle).
Weight loss or gain.
In children, growing.
In girls, menstrual cycle.

It's not common or garden Hangry we're talking about, it's a medical emergency, just like an injury would be. And most of us are understanding if somebody who has just broken their ankle or is currently bleeding to death gets a little bit sweary - a hypo is potentially as serious as bleeding to death.

OP, it's OK. She annoyed you by being a kid when you were unwell. I would recommend that you look into sources of information for children so that she knows how to recognise the signs of a hypo, how to deal with it and when to call for help; over time, you might find that little snacks or drinks are put in front of you and she wanders off again, because she's noticed a change even before your monitor pings. Or she'll ask 'have you checked your levels, Mum?' - or even shout at you 'Just TAKE the snack!'.

Although I would also look at maybe seeing if there's another flavour of toothpaste she likes better or changing to an electric brush if there isn't, so any lack of paste is at least tempered by better brushing...

God some of the hand wringing here! So she got sworn at when she was being annoying so what? What harm is that going to do (as a singular event?) Don’t make it into a bigger deal by apologising over and over like her ears are going to fall off and she’s going to collapse clutching her pearls like some of the posters on here.

The only thing that you need to worry about OP is your health. A quick, ‘sorry for swearing’ is all that’s needed. Unless you start lashing out or you swear regularly at your child this doesn’t warrant a second thought.

Take care

My husband had to rescue British Transport Police from his elderly aunt who was refusing to vacate a train in a very busy railway station . There were two of them and a very proper little old Scottish lady holding up traffic.

lose the swearing op