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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky fckery

218 replies

Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:06

Hmmmm I have never come across much cheeky fckery before I must say

But my cousin is taking the fcking biscuit right now

Not heard from him in years
Random call few weeks back to ask if he could help to cut down some trees on my land (we never asked him to do so)

So few weeks later
He has made his way to one of our lovely areas of land with huge tractors - made a total mess

Got a random guy to come cut trees - no idea who he is but he throws his litter on the road every day for us to pick up

Now I would say he has cut down 40 trees
Looks like my cousin is building something and has seen the price of timber so tried to pretend he was doing us a favour

I'm raging with him
He has left such a mess

If I say something my elderly father will get upset but it just pisses me off so much I'm tempted to put a lock on the gate so he can't take the rest of the trees away 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

OP posts:
SpeakingFranglais · 16/07/2021 17:15

I do not understand why you haven't challenged him or flipped your shit with him. I would ask him for the timber back and money for carnage he has caused and threaten the police if he doesn't.

You dad isn't well and has dementia, why would he even need to know if you say something to your cousin, he's YOUR father and you have been ripped off.

GreyhoundG1rl · 16/07/2021 17:16

What sort of numpty allow someone to chop down 40 trees on their property and then whines about the other person's cheek?
Genuinely flabbergasted as how some people conduct themselves Confused

GrandmaSteglitszch · 16/07/2021 17:16

Do you know someone IRL who can get upset on your behalf and help you stand up to this jerk?

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 17:17

@GreyhoundG1rl

What sort of numpty allow someone to chop down 40 trees on their property and then whines about the other person's cheek? Genuinely flabbergasted as how some people conduct themselves Confused
But he said it was to clear some trees and remove some that were almost down

That's what the original story was

I found out the full reality when I came back from a work trip

OP posts:
muddyford · 16/07/2021 17:23

The 'year per inch of diameter' to dry wood doesn't apply to kilndrying, only to drying undercover in normal air temperatures and airflow. My DH is a woodturner so I know these things...

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 17:26

@Spanielsarepainless

The 'year per inch of diameter' to dry wood doesn't apply to kilndrying, only to drying undercover in normal air temperatures and airflow. My DH is a woodturner so I know these things...
Ah I see

Well they are cut now in long planks
And lying on the ground outside his other friends' shed

Fcking idiot

And yes well it would help if I wasn't a walkover

OP posts:
User57327259 · 16/07/2021 17:26

@Queenie6655 I have spent years being a walkover. A very nice therapist (lovely lady very quietly spoken) suggested a good swear might be appropriate in the direction of bullies who treated me like a walk over. I tried that and it gave them a shake up

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 17:28

Thank you

Great advice

Stand up for myself and out family land

OP posts:
fabulousathome · 16/07/2021 17:28

Really he has stolen wood from you Dad.

Could you report it to the Police as it sounds like your Dad didn't really have capacity to agree?

KibeththeWalker · 16/07/2021 17:29

OP, stop the self-flagellation and go and collect the wood.

Otherwise, the next thread will be wailing about why you didn't go and pick up the wood while it was still in the yard.

Time to be strong.

BlackAlys · 16/07/2021 17:30

Do it OP!!

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 17:32

@fabulousathome

Really he has stolen wood from you Dad.

Could you report it to the Police as it sounds like your Dad didn't really have capacity to agree?

I want to

Need to ask my family what they think

Or just take the wood back

I can get help early in the morning

OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 16/07/2021 17:33

@Queenie6655

I hope you do ... time to show this cheap skate that damaging your land is not acceptable.. and as such Naw he cannot have the wood 🎉

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 17:36

Plus I would never ever have had them chopped down

Fair enough if he planned to remove some which fell down and that my dad needed this favour

He is welcome to that

But not this

My farmland is so precious to us
We don't make much money but it is spectacularly beautiful and unspoilt

OP posts:
GrandmaSteglitszch · 16/07/2021 17:36

Are your family likely to support you in taking it back?
If so, tell them ASAP!

If not, don't tell them.

You can sell the planks and use the money to pay for their transport and work done by CF's friend (as it's not the friend's fault).

Chilver · 16/07/2021 17:42

Why aren't you telling him to come and make good on the mess he made?? If its such a mess and stopping access for your livestock, he needs to fix it. He didn't get permission to make a mess and cut off livestock from their grazing, he asked about trees. Tell him to sort it out (and tell him that the wood is still yours!)

PurpleMustang · 16/07/2021 17:43

I saw a pic the other day which showed two sets of timber for the same amount of money. The 2nd box showed about a third less timber to show how much more expensive timber is, and why builders are having to charge more. He is doing this to either get it for free and use, give to someone else probably for a profit or to sell on.
You need to decide what you are happy with him doing, what not and deal with it from there. He has obviously taken advantage of the situation and mostly your Dad, which the family, I would think, would not be happy about.

BlackAlys · 16/07/2021 17:45

@Queenie6655

Plus I would never ever have had them chopped down

Fair enough if he planned to remove some which fell down and that my dad needed this favour

He is welcome to that

But not this

My farmland is so precious to us
We don't make much money but it is spectacularly beautiful and unspoilt

You need to be saying exactly that when you grab your wood back.
Eddielzzard · 16/07/2021 17:46

You can continue to be a walk over and feel like shit, or get some help, go over there and take those planks back. Even if you don't use them, you will not regret making that stand because this CF will carry on until you do stand up to him. Good luck. Do it for your beautiful farm, your dad and yourself.

Catintwohats · 16/07/2021 17:47

What a cheeky git. You really need to either call or text him and tell him that he was not straight with you about what he was doing and you would never have allowed that in a million years, he does not have permission to cut any further trees and that you have put a lock on the gate to prevent access. Am raging on your behalf.

With regards to your Dad, I understand you want to protect him from any fallout but would he not be more upset about what your cousin has done?

Good luck with it all.

Ilovecaviar · 16/07/2021 17:48

Given the size of the trees to make planks and volume, he shouldn’t have cut them without a felling license in place, do you have one?

Never mind the impact to the environment and the fact that it is bird nesting season. You need to know these things as a landowner.

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 17:53

@Ilovecaviar

Given the size of the trees to make planks and volume, he shouldn’t have cut them without a felling license in place, do you have one?

Never mind the impact to the environment and the fact that it is bird nesting season. You need to know these things as a landowner.

No how would I

My dad has had this farm for all his life
Recently diagnosed with dementia

I work away
Fly home to try to help

OP posts:
2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney · 16/07/2021 17:57

@Queenie6655
Given the size of the trees to make planks and volume, he shouldn’t have cut them without a felling license in place, do you have one

Never mind the impact to the environment and the fact that it is bird nesting season. You need to know these things as a landowner

This^ OP don’t want to worry you further but I would be very surprised if a woodland of 40mature oaks would not have a TPO order or ancient woodland protection order on it . Both need consent to fell. There are huge fines for non compliance.

AhNowTed · 16/07/2021 17:58

That's not just cheeky.

That's downright robbery and taking advantage of an elderly man. And a relative no less.

Some people have absolutely no fucking morals.

2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney · 16/07/2021 18:00

If you want to find out look up Tree preservation order on your council website and look for ancient woodland and other destinations eg SSSI on this mapping system.

magic.defra.gov.uk/magicmap.aspx