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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky fckery

218 replies

Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:06

Hmmmm I have never come across much cheeky fckery before I must say

But my cousin is taking the fcking biscuit right now

Not heard from him in years
Random call few weeks back to ask if he could help to cut down some trees on my land (we never asked him to do so)

So few weeks later
He has made his way to one of our lovely areas of land with huge tractors - made a total mess

Got a random guy to come cut trees - no idea who he is but he throws his litter on the road every day for us to pick up

Now I would say he has cut down 40 trees
Looks like my cousin is building something and has seen the price of timber so tried to pretend he was doing us a favour

I'm raging with him
He has left such a mess

If I say something my elderly father will get upset but it just pisses me off so much I'm tempted to put a lock on the gate so he can't take the rest of the trees away 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

OP posts:
DishingOutDone · 16/07/2021 16:22

This isn't really being a cheeky fucker is it. Does your father favour the cousin over you? There must be more of a back story. Is this cousin allowed to do anything just so as not to upset your Dad?

If you are not willing to deal with it then he can do pretty much as he wishes.

seven201 · 16/07/2021 16:23

Just ring him and say no more chopping trees and he needs to come and clear the mess up as it's affecting the cows etc. Surely you're protecting your dad by sorting it out rather than just leaving it as a big mess!

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:23

The land is in all our name

Initially I thought my dad may have seen some fallen trees or wanted some cleared for his own benefit

My dad has dementia so when I asked him he wasn't clear about what he had said (or if he even said anything at all)

I know I have been a walkover
Was trying to not piss anyone off and in the meantime he has just been a fcker

OP posts:
Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:25

@DishingOutDone

This isn't really being a cheeky fucker is it. Does your father favour the cousin over you? There must be more of a back story. Is this cousin allowed to do anything just so as not to upset your Dad?

If you are not willing to deal with it then he can do pretty much as he wishes.

No not at all

This cousin has not contacted us in around two years

It was totally out of the blue when I got the call

I wish I had said no it's sorted thanks so much
Will call you if we need any help

He disguised it as my father asking for help when he wanted to get shit loads of free timber

OP posts:
Uramaki · 16/07/2021 16:28

Why didn't you stop him once it became apparent he was taking 40 trees?!

TurquoiseDragon · 16/07/2021 16:30

Get it sorted and don't tell your dad.

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:31

I was working away

And have just come across it all
My neighbours filled me in too as they were wondering who the random man was working on our land

Fcking raging

And yes
I need to speak out more
Yes

OP posts:
Wilkolampshade · 16/07/2021 16:36

Well just go and padlock the gate NOW.
You should regard any further entry as trespass.
There isn't a back way round is there? Through another field? If so, sounds like you should padlock that too.
If he says anything like 'I thought I' d come round and finish' say 'no, you're alright.'
Good luck. X

Faranth · 16/07/2021 16:36

Then I'd ring him and say I've just been down the lane, I've seen the unholy mess he's made and how many trees he's felled. That he needs to stop right now, he's taken far too many trees, and he's to come first thing tomorrow to fix the lane so the cows can get down it.

He probably won't come and clear up, but the threat of having to might keep him away from your remaining trees.

If your DF gets upset, tell him you're upset too, that your cousin has damaged the lane etc and you've never seen such carnage.

gamerchick · 16/07/2021 16:38

@MaskingForIt

Christ, grow a spine you wet blanket!

Text him “thanks for your work so far, we’ll take it from here”.

Then lock the gate and call the police if he breaks in.

This. FFS OP, get the fucker told.
Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:38

Thank you guys

Padlocked tightly on

Have told neighbours to let me know if they see any strangers back there or if there is any more rubbish left on the ground

To add insult to injury he is getting it all chopped into lovely neat timber beams just down the road from my house

Couldn't make this shit up

But my god lesson learnt
Next time it's a 'nice offer but it's sorted already'

OP posts:
Uramaki · 16/07/2021 16:40

Got a random guy to come cut trees - no idea who he is but he throws his litter on the road every day for us to pick up sorry assumed you'd seen the guy to not know who he was. Sounds a nightmare. I'd tell him to stay away and contact the police if he trespasses.

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:42

No sorry he must have asked a friend to come help him
So it was him or his litter throwing buddy who messed up the lane way

I need to get pics guys to show you the carnage

OP posts:
Uramaki · 16/07/2021 16:44

Could you ask for money to hire someone to tidy up his mess? I'm guessing not. I feel for you, you seem to have enough on your plate without a tree snatcher!

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:48

@Uramaki

Could you ask for money to hire someone to tidy up his mess? I'm guessing not. I feel for you, you seem to have enough on your plate without a tree snatcher!
Thank you

My fault for being an idiot and always trying to keep the peace

He should feel very bad

If I find out he is giving the trees away to someone else I will totally hit the roof

So angry with myself for all of this

OP posts:
TherapistInATabard · 16/07/2021 16:50

There can be hefty fines for felling without a license!

BlackAlys · 16/07/2021 16:51

Don't give him a thing!
He's done this because he knows you're a pushover.

I'd rather chop the wood and dry it for burning or get it planked and ready to sell yourself.

Be firm. Tell him he wasn't honest with you and had he made it clear that he was felling 40 trees, you would have refused.

He is also disrespecting your Dad.

Don't give in.

fabulousathome · 16/07/2021 16:51

I thought wood had to season (be outside so the weather and air could get to it) for years before you could build with it?

Surely your Dad wants some back? (you could say).

Howdidigetsoold · 16/07/2021 16:52

Tell him to bring the wood back. Say you want to sell it - bill him for the wood he’s taken

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:52

He's already taken them the scummy so and so

In my stupid head I thought it was a favour

And it was maybe that he would take them as they were blocking some entrance

Not the case

OP posts:
Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:54

He's done this because

My dad has dementia and does not remember ever having the conversation

And he knows I work away a fair bit so was not there to see all the mess

Arghhhhhhhhh I wish I told him no at the start but I had no clue and didn't question it

OP posts:
TherapistInATabard · 16/07/2021 16:54

@fabulousathome

I thought wood had to season (be outside so the weather and air could get to it) for years before you could build with it?

Surely your Dad wants some back? (you could say).

Depends on the wood. Oak is better green.
Uramaki · 16/07/2021 16:54

So angry with myself for all of this

Don't be. Initially I was thinking well why on earth didn't you just stop him? But you were working away. You have a lot on your plate. And most decent people would have clarified with you exactly which trees before starting chopping!

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:55

The wood is sitting out down the road from us at his friends house (his friend has a machine to cut it up)
No idea how long it needs to be left out until it can be used

Should go down and take it back
Use it for our own solid fire ??!!

OP posts:
Uramaki · 16/07/2021 16:55

Yes he's taken advantage of your circumstances

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