Cheeky fucker texting my dh

[Mojitoqueen]

Dd has a friend at school. I arranged a play date for her and her friend. Turned out I was working so dh picked up the girls and took them out. We’ve never met the girl or her parents before.
Dh said the mum asked him in for tea but he declined. They chatted at the door. Her husband works abroad.
Dh works away from home down south, we are up north. He’s home at weekends.
After the play date she texted dh the usual thank yous.
She’s texted dh today and asked if whilst he’s down south if he could meet her brother and get a box of her things in his car to bring to our home so she can pick up.
Dh replied and said he was four hours away from her brother so won’t be able to do it.
She has since texted him again with approx distances from train stations etc.
I’ve told dh I don’t want a relationship with her, I’ve never met her and it was just to let the kids play. I don’t want her texting my dh for favours and have snapped at dh wanting to be the nice guy and help out, he thinks it’s funny but I’m not happy she’s texting my dh.

Aibu to tell him to stop replying to her?
I now feel uncomfortable arranging anything again.

He’s an adult. He can deal with it. He doesn’t need your input.

There is no need for a rude, narky response

She’s definitely a CF. He’s already told her no so not sure why she’s banging on.
I don’t think you need to ‘tell’ DH anything, he should want to and be able to tell her no all by himself.

snapped at dh wanting to be the nice guy and help out
But he isn’t going to help out? This isn’t a drama... CF asked, he said no. Why are you losing your temper over it?

That is so cheeky of her! Especially once he’s already said he’s 4 bloody hours away. Tell your dh to tell her to jog on - he doesn’t need to be polite when someone is being that demanding.

She’s being unreasonable to ask this of him given the distances but you are being really unreasonable to get angry with him about it and telling him he’s not allowed to reply.

@nimbuscloud wasn't rude and narky?

Why are you losing your temper over it

Because ‘no’ didn’t work. She’s now listing bloody train stations for the OP’s DH to shlep to.

A little perspective is probably needed as adults should be able to conduct life and communicate with who they like without being afraid it's against a rule. You're not sure that the woman had any bad intentions, and she hasn't done anything outwardly wrong. Perhaps she wants to meet both of you? Best to be civilised about this before you possibly jump to conclusions. No need to jump down her or your husband's throats.

Christ almighty sounds like you’re reacting like a dog who wants to piss all over everything…

He said no, it’s not practical. The only one who is being “rude and narky” is you

4 hours away? That's beyond cheeky.

Normally I'd say community spirit, help someone out, but I wouldn't even ask a good friend to do an 8 hour round trip like that (barring a serious emergency). Especially bad that she continued to push it after being told no.

I’m annoyed because he replies and justifies it to her about the distance, telling her when he’s coming home etc and keeping the conversation going. Yes don’t want her texting my dh and trying to get pally with him and I don’t want to get into a situation where we are asked for favours all the time. She’s acting like he’s her close friend.

@nimbuscloud

He’s an adult. He can deal with it. He doesn’t need your input.

You didn’t do anything wrong, sorry for the rude response to you x

I wouldn't say that @nimbuscloud was particularly rude or narky. This is something your DH can easily deal with. Your DH has done nothing wrong here, and it's not his fault that she is a CF, so it was unfair of you to snap at him. You sound rather angry and more than a little bit jealous / insecure, so I'm wondering if you're more concerned about her wider motives here than just a box of stuff.

@OlympicProcrastinator

Why are you losing your temper over it

Because ‘no’ didn’t work. She’s now listing bloody train stations for the OP’s DH to shlep to.

That would make sense if she was losing her temper at the CF, but she’s taking it out on her DH.

the old mumsnet adage
You have a DH problem
Not a CF problem

I would give her a wide berth. She is pushing it asking .

Even if he worked in the same town as her brother it’s still beyond rude of her to try taking advantage of this when she doesn’t know you. Except he doesn’t, she wants him to drive an extra 4 hours to do her a favour when he’s a complete stranger to her. I can’t believe people are so rude and self absorbed they’d ever think this is ok.

It sounds like you’re more jealous than you are upset by her being a ‘cheeky fucker’.

She is a CF.

He just needs to say no and mean it. If he does this, it will be endless.

She’s a CF but you’re still being unreasonable. Your husband is an adult and can manage his own relationships.

@Flowers500
Thank you !

Are you unhappy because she is a CF, or because she is a woman texting your DH?

She's so cheeky and I'd be fuming. I wouldn't of snapped at DH as he's refused to do it. If she continues to text and ask then I'd ask him to be firmer, as it's making you uncomfortable