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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky fucker texting my dh

437 replies

Mojitoqueen · 15/07/2021 17:46

Dd has a friend at school. I arranged a play date for her and her friend. Turned out I was working so dh picked up the girls and took them out. We’ve never met the girl or her parents before.
Dh said the mum asked him in for tea but he declined. They chatted at the door. Her husband works abroad.
Dh works away from home down south, we are up north. He’s home at weekends.
After the play date she texted dh the usual thank yous.
She’s texted dh today and asked if whilst he’s down south if he could meet her brother and get a box of her things in his car to bring to our home so she can pick up.
Dh replied and said he was four hours away from her brother so won’t be able to do it.
She has since texted him again with approx distances from train stations etc.
I’ve told dh I don’t want a relationship with her, I’ve never met her and it was just to let the kids play. I don’t want her texting my dh for favours and have snapped at dh wanting to be the nice guy and help out, he thinks it’s funny but I’m not happy she’s texting my dh.

Aibu to tell him to stop replying to her?
I now feel uncomfortable arranging anything again.

OP posts:
YelloYelloYello · 15/07/2021 17:58

Is your DH is still saying no, despite the messages about trainstations etc?

HerMammy · 15/07/2021 17:59

Somebody sounds very jealous and possessive, is your DH not allowed to speak to her because she’s female? You probably wouldn’t be acting like a twat if it was a man would you?
Calm yourself down.

CrouchEndTiger12 · 15/07/2021 17:59

He told her no.

I can understand you being angry if he said yes.

What are you upset about?

1FootInTheRave · 15/07/2021 18:00

She is a cheeky twat.

MilduraS · 15/07/2021 18:00

I'd respond with a link to parcel monkey if I were your DH.

EvilPea · 15/07/2021 18:01

I don’t think she was wrong to ask initially if she had genuinely thought he was nearby

However the 4 hours and subsequent conversation, cheeky!!!

But no, I’m not sure why your getting shitty about it other than that.

OlympicProcrastinator · 15/07/2021 18:02

Christ almighty sounds like you’re reacting like a dog who wants to piss all over everything

Lovely Confused

Original poster
Mojitoqueen · 15/07/2021 18:02

Oh yes everyone who gets upset over something even if they are unreasonable, which I may be…is unhinged Hmm
Stop throwing that term about it’s actually really nasty.

I am feeling a bit insecure that a woman is texting dh, he seems to find it funny and is keeping the conversation going, which is why I’m uncomfortable. A straight no that’s not suitable would be fine and that’s it there but she’s Google mapped train times etc and I feel he should have just ignored.
I’m not having her use my dh as her knight in shining armour. We don’t know her.

OP posts:
Pinknoise · 15/07/2021 18:03

No I would not be happy about that either.

coffeerose · 15/07/2021 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dogvmarmot · 15/07/2021 18:04

unless he was in the same town that is v v cf. your DH should ignore her now or suggest her brother use one of the many courier services available to all.

Tlollj · 15/07/2021 18:05

I think you’re overreacting a bit tbh. As long as he keeps saying no I don’t see the problem.
She’s definitely cheeky though.

onlyhereforthecake · 15/07/2021 18:07

She has since texted him again with approx distances from train stations etc.
obviously that is taking the piss,

but

YABU for taking everything so personally. Your DH says no. It's awfully controlling to snap at him because a female is texting him!
She's not trying to book a shag in a hotel room, she is being a CF asking for a favour. Let it go.

OlympicProcrastinator · 15/07/2021 18:07

Oh yes everyone who gets upset over something even if they are unreasonable, which I may be…is unhinged

Ignore it OP. Mumsnet bingo for posts like this go:

“You sound unhinged”
“Have you always been so controlling”
“You have a DH problem”
“No is a complete sentence”
“You sound like a nightmare”

Once you’ve ticked those all off the responses, YANBU. He shouldn’t be entertaining it, she’s taking the piss.

Original poster
Mojitoqueen · 15/07/2021 18:07

@coffeerose that would be all well and fine if we actually knew this person, bar taking her daughter to play with ours we don’t know her from Adam.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 15/07/2021 18:07

Ok I was going to ask if you were jealous and insecure, but you know you are.

There is two issues here, so you’re voting will be confused.

On the one hand she’s a cf and of course she shouldn’t be asking this.

On the other side I personally see no reason why he can’t be friends with a woman and I think it would be very rude and impact on your child if he was to blank her.

Stop holding on so tight op. If he’s going to cheat you banning him from talking to other women isn’t going to stop him. Try to get some help for your issues.

onlyhereforthecake · 15/07/2021 18:08

I’m not having her use my dh as her knight in shining armour. We don’t know her.

you do know he's not your puppy, but a responsible independent adult don't you?

FineWineTime · 15/07/2021 18:08

Yes she's a CF but really, OP give your head a wobble.

SafeMove · 15/07/2021 18:09

I don't understand the googlemaps train station thing at all. Is she trying to persuade him to get a train to her brothers or something? If so, yes she is a CF.

Is this your DH's fault? No. I am missing why you are angry with him? He ISN'T being the knight in shining armour if he has said no, surely? Also, how do you know he is 'carrying on ghe conversation'? Are you able to see their message thread or something?

Bksjshsbbev2737 · 15/07/2021 18:09

I’m not sure why you’re annoyed; it’s cheeky but if he wants to help then leave him to it

onlyhereforthecake · 15/07/2021 18:09

OlympicProcrastinator

it's not controlling to snap at your partner because someone from the opposite sex is texting them? Confused

It's not an acceptable behaviour. Your partner is not a child, you don't get to tell them what they are allowed or not to do! The man has done nothing but saying no to a CF here

tedsletterofthelaw · 15/07/2021 18:10

She's a CF for asking him to do this and badgering him after he's said no

But

YABU for not letting him have a friendship with her if he wants one, cheekyfuckery aside, would you be uncomfortable with him having a friendship with any woman? If so, that is your issue and not his.

Blossomtoes · 15/07/2021 18:10

@nimbuscloud

He’s an adult. He can deal with it. He doesn’t need your input.
This.
Teaandjam · 15/07/2021 18:10

She’s unreasonable for asking. You are very unreasonable for reacting the way you have. There is clearly some back story or personal issues you have to work through.

coffeerose · 15/07/2021 18:12

[quote Mojitoqueen]@coffeerose that would be all well and fine if we actually knew this person, bar taking her daughter to play with ours we don’t know her from Adam.[/quote]
It doesn't matter that you don't know her.
It also doesn't matter that your husband can't help her or that you don't want him to.
But kindness and understanding matter.