Cheeky fucker texting my dh

[Mojitoqueen]

Dd has a friend at school. I arranged a play date for her and her friend. Turned out I was working so dh picked up the girls and took them out. We’ve never met the girl or her parents before.
Dh said the mum asked him in for tea but he declined. They chatted at the door. Her husband works abroad.
Dh works away from home down south, we are up north. He’s home at weekends.
After the play date she texted dh the usual thank yous.
She’s texted dh today and asked if whilst he’s down south if he could meet her brother and get a box of her things in his car to bring to our home so she can pick up.
Dh replied and said he was four hours away from her brother so won’t be able to do it.
She has since texted him again with approx distances from train stations etc.
I’ve told dh I don’t want a relationship with her, I’ve never met her and it was just to let the kids play. I don’t want her texting my dh for favours and have snapped at dh wanting to be the nice guy and help out, he thinks it’s funny but I’m not happy she’s texting my dh.

Aibu to tell him to stop replying to her?
I now feel uncomfortable arranging anything again.

YANBU

Some man can fall for it while in a bad period. You won't believe this can happen until it happens to you.

I would get your dh to ignore her from now on, she either a very CF or after your dh.

Women and men can communicate without planning a shag op.

A very large proportion of MN users do not seem to think that is the case.

FWIW, OP I think your expectations about how much control you have over who he communicates with and what he does are unhealthy.

If the sexes on this thread were reversed you'd be getting a much bigger pasting.

@onlyhereforthecake

I’m not having her use my dh as her knight in shining armour. We don’t know her.

you do know he's not your puppy, but a responsible independent adult don't you?

“We don’t know her”

You knew her well enough to leave your daughter at their house for a play date!

Okay, the woman is a CF, no doubt.
But what is really going on with you and DH. Do you two have form for this? Does he make a habit of trying to make you jealous for the laugh? Is that where your insecurity has come from? Or do you make a habit of trying to control him and he's kicking back at you? Or both?
Time for you two to sort that out. Be honest that you're jealous which is not good but if he's playing games to inflame that, that'a also unacceptable. Get to the bottom of it and work on it.

Sorry, didn’t mean to include the comment from only here for the cake.

What's the stuff she's asking to be picked up?

@girlmom21

Did I say actually enough times?

Actually no. A couple more would have been nice actually.

Would you feel happy if your Dh was telling you who you can talk to, how to deal with their requests etc?
You either trust him or you don’t. Whilst I agree she is a cf there’s no need for you to micromanage your husband.

@Mojitoqueen Of COURSE YANBU. And anyone saying you ARE, would be reacting exactly the same as you if the same thing happened to them, so ignore them putting you down and dismissing your worries, and calling you 'jealous' - they would ALL be pissed off by what's going on.

She is a CF, but it also sounds like she fancies your DH a bit. The fact he thinks it's funny shows him to be a bit of an arsehole to be honest. He is enjoying your discomfort and the fact you are upset about this. I think you should start getting over-friendly with a local single man, and see if he thinks THAT'S funny.

It is an odd thing to be jealous of.
She is cheekily asking a favour. We’ve seen plenty cheekier on here (Mexican Hoise Thief…😀)
I would just ignore it.

You don’t seem annoyed about the cheeky favour you seem jealous for some reason? Do you have a reason not to trust either of them?

I feel like the reaction all round are ott.
She asked.
He said no.
She continues to push, I'm guessing he is still saying no.
He's screen shoting the conversation to you, he probably thought you'd find it funny, however you've got annoyed (rightly or wrongly both of you)
Some of the replies here are extreme, accusing you of being controlling, I'm not convinced you are intentionally although some of your language can be viewed that way.
Some of the other replies are a bit far the other way, frankly I'd be annoyed that dh was sending me screenshots of the messages after I'd told him I don't find it funny, I'm assuming you've told him it's not funny?

You knew her well enough to leave your daughter at their house for a play date!

Where did OP say that @viques?

@OlympicProcrastinator

Oh yes everyone who gets upset over something even if they are unreasonable, which I may be…is unhinged

Ignore it OP. Mumsnet bingo for posts like this go:

“You sound unhinged”
“Have you always been so controlling”
“You have a DH problem”
“No is a complete sentence”
“You sound like a nightmare”

Once you’ve ticked those all off the responses, YANBU. He shouldn’t be entertaining it, she’s taking the piss.

All of this. ^ Typical nasty mumsnet responses. Every fucking time. And 'you sound unhinged' is just a fucking vile thing to say. Ignore them @Mojitoqueen YANBU at ALL.

Yes, she’s a blatant CF.

But isn’t what she’s doing funny rather than threatening?!

If some weirdo was texting my DH something like this, we’d be sniggering at it. And then laughing out loud at the train suggestion.

I mean - your DH is hardly going to buy a 4-hour train ticket to go and pick up her crap, is he?

And what a way to supposedly woo a married man. By being a weirdo CF. Yeah, men love that.

I really don’t think you have anything to worry about here, OP.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Your husband is showing you her messages because he enjoys seeing you get all ruffled and possessive. It makes him feel masculine and desirable. Don't encourage it, I say.

Or possibly because the OP is demanding he shows her?

Why is it a problem that a female texted your husband? Is he not allowed to form friendships that you don’t approve? Surely he’ll just say “no, it’s too far for me sorry” and not collect the item?! If he wants to form a friendship with another human being, surely that’s his prerogative? It’s not inappropriate to befriend someone who’s married - as long as it’s all above board, which it sounds like it is

Is she pretty?

Tbh it is a bit over-familiar that she's just met him once and feels it's ok to badger him for favours even though he's said no. It's a kind of ownership thing; seeing if she can get him to do this ridiculous favour.

Hermes etc is very cheap, and it obviously makes no sense for your DH to waste petrol as he is 4 hours away from her brother. So not sure why they're still texting each other about it?

I don't think your controlling OP. I would never start texting an attached man I had just met like that.

@HerMammy

Somebody sounds very jealous and possessive, is your DH not allowed to speak to her because she’s female? You probably wouldn’t be acting like a twat if it was a man would you? Calm yourself down.

What a stupid comment.

Don’t worry @nimbuscloud - you weren’t rude. And you are right.

@Notmoresugar

Block her on his phone.

Do not fucking do this. That's very, very controlling behaviour and totally unacceptable. If my DH dictated who I could and couldn't talk to he would be out.

He's said no. Why are you so enraged that he's "engaging in conversation" about it? It sounds like he has more social skills than either her or you.
nimbuscloud was not rude or narky.

I would hate this and it would bring out my jealous side.

He is loving the attention and ego boast she is giving him, while her husband is away. She is over stepping the mark.

Next it will be can you pop by and help with some DIY that desperately needs doing.

@TopBlogger

You knew her well enough to leave your daughter at their house for a play date!

Where did OP say that @viques?

In the first paragraph of the first post