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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky fucker texting my dh

437 replies

Mojitoqueen · 15/07/2021 17:46

Dd has a friend at school. I arranged a play date for her and her friend. Turned out I was working so dh picked up the girls and took them out. We’ve never met the girl or her parents before.
Dh said the mum asked him in for tea but he declined. They chatted at the door. Her husband works abroad.
Dh works away from home down south, we are up north. He’s home at weekends.
After the play date she texted dh the usual thank yous.
She’s texted dh today and asked if whilst he’s down south if he could meet her brother and get a box of her things in his car to bring to our home so she can pick up.
Dh replied and said he was four hours away from her brother so won’t be able to do it.
She has since texted him again with approx distances from train stations etc.
I’ve told dh I don’t want a relationship with her, I’ve never met her and it was just to let the kids play. I don’t want her texting my dh for favours and have snapped at dh wanting to be the nice guy and help out, he thinks it’s funny but I’m not happy she’s texting my dh.

Aibu to tell him to stop replying to her?
I now feel uncomfortable arranging anything again.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 15/07/2021 18:22

Why are you annoyed she’s texting him? I don’t get it.

HyacynthBucket · 15/07/2021 18:22

I wouldn't like it either OP because I think she is probably making a play for him, and he likes the attention. Can you ask him if he is finding it flattering? That might make him wake up a bit, particularly if you can suggest that she might be a bit OTT in her demands, and this could get worse.

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2021 18:22

Ooooh, who are they?

The ones who piss in the toilet and not up their husband's legs...

pubble · 15/07/2021 18:23

Well she sounds out but your DH has said no so 🤷🏻‍♀️

MrMucker · 15/07/2021 18:23

The worst thing has been missed so far, that CF or controlling or weak minded DH, whichever way you hang it, OP has siad they feel uncomfortable arranging anything again.
So because of adults not acting like adults, the kids don't get the play dates they might really like.
Shame you can't see past whatever it is OP, and continue to arrange play dates...here's a thing...for your kid.

Nocutenamesleft · 15/07/2021 18:24

@OlympicProcrastinator

Oh yes everyone who gets upset over something even if they are unreasonable, which I may be…is unhinged

Ignore it OP. Mumsnet bingo for posts like this go:

“You sound unhinged”
“Have you always been so controlling”
“You have a DH problem”
“No is a complete sentence”
“You sound like a nightmare”

Once you’ve ticked those all off the responses, YANBU. He shouldn’t be entertaining it, she’s taking the piss.

Don’t forget

LTB
And. What redeeming qualities does he have
Or. And why are you with this man?!?

Cooldryplace · 15/07/2021 18:24

She is undoubtedly being cheeky, although the first request if she believed DH was within a reasonable distance of her brother was not that unreasonable.

However you seem to be outraged with the fact that she had the nerve to text DH, rather than what she's asking and very angry with people here, who really have done nothing to warrant it

DH just needs to say no, which he's done. Why are you still furious?.

OlympicProcrastinator · 15/07/2021 18:25

WorraLiberty

With respect, she’s coming across as insecure and in need of support and reassurance. Yet she’s been called a twat, a dog that wants to piss on everything and a lot in between.

Expressing unhappiness about contact from a very cheeky woman does not make her a generally controlling nightmare of a wife. People on here are so nasty sometimes.

FatJan · 15/07/2021 18:26

She's a cheeky fucker and so are you based on your responses 👍

Original poster
Mojitoqueen · 15/07/2021 18:26

I’m not controlling. He’s sending me the texts she’s sending and laughing at it, by the texts I can see he’s engaging in conversation. I told him that I don’t feel comfortable that she doesn’t know him and asking him for huge favours. I don’t want a relationship with her, as a couple. And no I wouldn’t feel comfortable if they formed a friendship, again I don’t know her. A lot of women would feel the same.
I asked him to stop engaging in conversation with her and she will get the hint. He put a laughing emoji, feels like he’s enjoying it.

I would never dream of texting a school mums husband and asking for favours. I think it’s really inappropriate, unless you know them like a neighbour or something.

OP posts:
KirstenBlest · 15/07/2021 18:26

How did she get his number to text him?

Shoxfordian · 15/07/2021 18:27

I would find this quite funny, sorry op

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2021 18:28

@OlympicProcrastinator

WorraLiberty

With respect, she’s coming across as insecure and in need of support and reassurance. Yet she’s been called a twat, a dog that wants to piss on everything and a lot in between.

Expressing unhappiness about contact from a very cheeky woman does not make her a generally controlling nightmare of a wife. People on here are so nasty sometimes.

I disagree. I think these words make her sound very controlling...

"I'm not having her use my DH as her knight in shining armour"

"I don't want her texting my DH for favours"

"AIBU to stop him replying to her?"

I wouldn't put up with my husband treating me like that. I'm my own person, not his puppet.

Bluntness100 · 15/07/2021 18:29

I think it’s really inappropriate, unless you know them like a neighbour or something.

Well neither would I unless I was desperate. But that goes for the husband or wife. Not just I’d not text her husband. Women and men can communicate without planning a shag op.

Heyyeahyouwiththesadface · 15/07/2021 18:30

She asked -that isn’t being a CF, he said no. She’s trying to find a workable solution so I guess it’s important stuff to her.

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest my DH bringing the stuff back, my DH would have probably been the one suggesting where to meet him & how he could get it for her -that’s the stuff I snap at DH for because it would invariably leave him out of pocket/late/involve him offering something else!

5475878237NC · 15/07/2021 18:30

I'm with you OP this is really out of order on her part r. I would not be happy if my DH kept the conversation going either.

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2021 18:30

And no I wouldn’t feel comfortable if they formed a friendship, again I don’t know her.

Why do you keep going on about you don't know her? Confused

You don't have to know her.

Does your DH have to run every friendship candidate past you before you allow him to be their friend?

Nesbo · 15/07/2021 18:30

I think he may have a DW problem.

Original poster
Mojitoqueen · 15/07/2021 18:30

If she was that desperate for a box of stuff she would just pay a courier to deliver it.

OP posts:
DillonPanthersTexas · 15/07/2021 18:30

She is a cheeky fucker.

You seem overly invested with a minor issue that your DH seems to have under control.

MintMatchmaker · 15/07/2021 18:31

I think the woman is cheeky but it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest if my husband had a conversation with her or even did her a favour for that matter.

I don’t understand why you’re so angry about it, do you trust him?

OlympicProcrastinator · 15/07/2021 18:31

I would never dream of texting a school mums husband and asking for favours. I think it’s really inappropriate, unless you know them like a neighbour or something

No me neither OP and I don’t know many people that would do that either. Just general respect for your own DH and for other women. Clearly we are a minority on here though.

mumto2teenagers · 15/07/2021 18:32

I wouldn't put up with my husband treating me like that. I'm my own person, not his puppet.

I agree with this.

OP you do come across as incredibly controlling.

rainsometimes · 15/07/2021 18:32

I think your husband is making this out a lot worse than it is by laughing and joking about it knowing your annoyed.

Honestly my husband would just tell me to grow up and he will decline and put a stop to it but he's very blunt.

Your husband is like rubbing it in which in turn makes her look a lot worse than she initially is.

However i do find it strange her asking for favours and I can See your point to!

Lots of affairs have started out just like this ... tell your husband to nip it in the bud and if he's gonna do a favour then do it but stop dragging it out

Orf1abc · 15/07/2021 18:33

She might be being cheeky, but you're being rude all round. You're rude to other posters, you're trying to dictate who your husband can speak to. Maybe step back and get some perspective?