Aibu to think wedding photographer should have said she’s pregnant?

[baddaughter2021]

Just that really. Even if she has a few months to go to due date by the time of wedding shouldn’t she have told us?

Oh I hate a reverse lol 😂
But yeah she's BU

Wow. No

How precious of you

@baddaughter2021

THANK YOU

sorry all, one of those dreaded reverses. I’ve already done 10 weddings this summer with another 7 to go, not due until late Oct and several of the brides have expressed their disapproval of me having not told them because there’s an increased risk I won’t make it or that I won’t be working to my full capacity on the day. My last one is 2 months before I’m due and honestly the reception I’ve had to something I never considered having to tell people (because of past losses and quite frankly it not being any of their business) has left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Just wanted to check I wasn’t wildly wrong with my decision

i was 8.5 months pregnant at my sisters wedding, i made her wedding cake (including hand braiding flower ropes to circle each tier) did hers and other wedding party makeup on the day and handled bridesmaid and childcare stuff from arrival at venue to bed at 2 am - i did fine, these people are being uber unreasonable

Did they ask for your entire medical history or did they limit themselves to your pregnancy?

If you were doing my wedding from 37 weeks + I would want to know because the odds of you not being able to do it yourself would be high. But otherwise, no. And usually photographers have decent relationships with others in the profession and can use their second shooter or someone with a similar style can step in for them. Not ideal if you've chosen someone for a particular reason hence why if 37w+ I would hope for forewarning.

Oh the bridezilla traits didn't disappear with the rise of the pandemic OP. What a load of nonsense. Congrats on your pregnancy and also for being able to work again. 2 months before DD is no reason for panic - as you've already ascertained. Gosh the world is mad.

YABU - what difference does it make?

Even if, worst case scenario, you are getting married and desperately sad that you can’t have children naturally….still nothing to do with the photographer?!

On the plus side - she will make you look slimmer!!?! 😉

If your due date was within 2 weeks or so of the wedding, maybe at a push.
Otherwise, no.

Why did you do a reverse, pointless.

Why? Do you want her to be invisible and not upstage you by displaying her beautiful bump?

Oh it’s a bloody reverse. YABU for that alone.
Hate mind games

Yes. It is annoying to reply to a scenario invented by op that’s a reverse
Just state the actual issue and allow posters to reply,to the actual factual post

Why...it won't prevent her from doing her job? Unless her due date was at the same time as your wedding & there is a possibility she would not be available...in which case I would expect her to decline the booking or explain that a colleague would be covering her (presuming she has such an arrangement) & ask if you were happy with that. But where she is months away from her due date at the time of your wedding then no reason why she needs to disclose to you.

It says a lot about these type of women that they think being pregnant makes a woman incapacitated. I expect a lot of them will change their tune when they have kids of their own!

Not read all of the replies, and sorry if this sounds blunt but.... what exactly has it got to do with you?!
Also why should the wedding photographer know or at least care enough to know who to tell lol
Oh and YABU

It's discrimination to ask someone if they are pregnant for employment unless they are going to be put at risk in that job. Basically if someone is getting married during a sky dive and expect the photographer to follow. Otherwise I can't see a scenario where that would make any kind of a difference.
Pregnant people have every right to work until they see fit to stop. If people are worried their photographer might go into labour before the big day then they have to consider that literally anyone could suffer injury or illness stopping them from doing their job and you can't be warned. Which is why pregnancy should not be disclosed as part of the booking process.

sorry all, one of those dreaded reverses

Oh FFS

Literally none of your business… still has hands to hold her camera I’m assuming..

I normally hate reverses but I don't mind this one for some reason 😂

Bridezillas are the worst - of course it's none of their business, pay it no attention. They're being ridiculous.

Reverses are really indulgent. Purposefully mucking posters about
Just be factual. No subterfuge.

Keep your reversing for when you're parking the car, not posting on Mumsnet please.

The reason why reverses don’t really work is because things are rarely black and white. Just because one person is being unreasonable, that doesn’t mean the other person is being unreasonable too.

If I was a bride I would want to know what your back up plan was just in case, and if I was ok with the back up photographers style etc. Presumably they booked you as they like your work. So while your pregnancy would be no one elses business, I think that making clear up front who your back up is, is important. As PP have said, you could be ill or in an accident or have a family emergency....so your clients need to know what the alternative is if you cant make it.

Geez are you worried she will take the shine off your big day . It’s none of your business . Do you want all her medical records !

Maybe some of the brides will be pregnant as well ! so you can all have a little chat about babies, if there is any standing about waiting.