Aibu to think wedding photographer should have said she’s pregnant?

[baddaughter2021]

Just that really. Even if she has a few months to go to due date by the time of wedding shouldn’t she have told us?

See this is the problem with a reverse.

If posters don't read the update then you get loads of posts saying you're unreasonable and lots of pissy comments.

Haha - @LolaSmiles called it. Is @TammyS86 one of the brides?

@baddaughter2021

THANK YOU

sorry all, one of those dreaded reverses. I’ve already done 10 weddings this summer with another 7 to go, not due until late Oct and several of the brides have expressed their disapproval of me having not told them because there’s an increased risk I won’t make it or that I won’t be working to my full capacity on the day. My last one is 2 months before I’m due and honestly the reception I’ve had to something I never considered having to tell people (because of past losses and quite frankly it not being any of their business) has left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Just wanted to check I wasn’t wildly wrong with my decision

I'd say she's veering dangerously close to discrimination!

I understand some want to know . They probably worry that something might happen and you’ll let them down last minute. It’s none of your business who you tell but if I was one of the brides near to your due date I’d want a heads up just in case.

Family friend got married on a very very hot day in July. The photographer was booked a year beforehand, and only dropped that she was 7 months pregnant into the conversation a few days before the wedding.

She looked flustered, uncomfortable and it wasn't nice to see someone heavily pregnant lugging a big camera/tripod and bags of equipment around so guests ended up helping her out. She looked really unwell and had to sit down a few times with a glass of water.

She was supposed to be there for the whole day, but ended up leaving before the evening reception. And the photos weren't great..........

Friend was actually quite upset that she hadn't been told.

Jesus Mary Mother of God and the wee Bridesmaid what has a photographers upduffedness to do with you?

spinningspaniels
But your friend didn't need to be told that the photographer was pregnant. The photographer should have taken responsibility and brought an assistant or a second shooter to support if she was feeling unwell. The issue is that when feeling unwell the photographer didn't organise support, not the fact she's pregnant.

When we got married we asked our (male) photographer what his backup plans were in the event of illness or unforeseen circumstances. There's no reason why any couple can't ask this of any photographer.

It's the thin end of the wedge if we start deciding that the world has a right to know the status of a woman's uterus.

@TammyS86

Hmmm I get it, actually. Babies come literally whenever, not always round their due date, sometimes very, very prematurely. Women can become very unwell when pregnant. I can understand your concerns but you're just gunna have to cross your fingers or find someone else

Equality Act 2010.

IT'S A REVERSE

Only if it impacts her ability to do the job. If within 2 months of giving birth, would she be able to be on her feet and nimble enough? But if she can manage yabu

@Justmuddlingalong

***IT'S A REVERSE***

Reverse posters should be suspended for being a tit. Really gets my goat.

For something as important as a wedding photographer, yes I think she should have said.

It's not an appointment that can be rescheduled if she's sick or goes into premature labour. I'd be pretty annoyed.

Reverse posters should be suspended for being a tit. Really gets my goat.

I agree, and they're also against talk guidelines (not that MNHQ ever bother to do anything about them).

If people continue to answer based on the opening post, it's tough shite.

Are you serious????

@SmokeyDevil That’s exactly what I did! Had she told me I’d have been happy just to wait as she was highly recommended as an instructor but I was really annoyed at her happily taking the money upfront and then declaring her time off!

@baddaughter2021 Saw your update. Any photographer could fall ill or not be working to their full capacity on the day - not just a pregnant photographer! The brides are being ridiculous! They’re also choosing to get married during a global pandemic with isolation rules currently in force - anyone could have to pull out at any given moment! I wouldn’t give it another thought if I were you 😊

@WeatheringStorms22

For something as important as a wedding photographer, yes I think she should have said.

It's not an appointment that can be rescheduled if she's sick or goes into premature labour. I'd be pretty annoyed.

@WeatheringStorms22 Any photographer can get sick - not just a pregnant photographer 👍🏻

How would that stop her taking photographs?

I was a wedding photographer for 12 years and I had my son during that time. I didn't tell any of my couples that I was pregnant, but as any decent photographer should do, I had back-up plans options in case of unforeseen illness (which can arise at any time as photographers are human).

I did my last wedding when I was 7 months pregnant. That was in December and was tough being on my feet for so long. If it had been mid-summer I probably would have stopped sooner.

Most of my couples didn't even mention the fact that I was pregnant and certainly none expressed a problem with it. I made sure I delivered what they were expecting, so why should they?

Brides that are pissy are defo being unreasonable , but i suppose it wouldnt do any harm to have a back up, do you know any other photographers who could fill in last minute, or a trainee or someone who could fill in if anything happened? And you could still do the editing so its in keeping with your style, which is what theyve obviously liked and chosen. Its so unlikely to be needed, but if anything did happen then you wouldnt have to worry about cancelling work, and brides wouldnt have to worry about finding a replacement last minute. Helps keep good relations all round. Just gives the brides a bit of reassurance.

@WeatheringStorms22

For something as important as a wedding photographer, yes I think she should have said.

It's not an appointment that can be rescheduled if she's sick or goes into premature labour. I'd be pretty annoyed.

Good wedding photographers have contingency plans.

Point out to them that pregnancy is not an illness, and that people in very high powered jobs (e.g. surgeons, barristers, scientists) regularly carry on working to a very late stage. I know one barrister who was still taking work calls whilst in labour.

Also consider saying "I do hope you're not suggesting you wouldn't have engaged me if you had known, because of course that would be unlawful under the Equality Act 2010".

No
Unless you’re an obstetrician who may have some advice
Otherwise, none of your business.
Does the pg mean she can’t fulfil her role at the wedding

Just seen op post,it’s a reverse , op she’s the pg photographer
Unrelated, but I think it’s easier to just post your actual query not a reverse.

I don't know why you had to do it as a reverse, but my answer is the same, namely that being pregnant has nothing to do with whether you can take photos or not.

I think you should have warned the photographer that you might be a whack job.